Did Anyone else not set long term goals because they didn’t want to live this long?

[Journeytoletgo]

Either subconsciously I knew I didn't intend to live past a certain age hence why I was in survival mode and not thriving mode.

 

[Judah]

One of my best friends convinced me to set ourselves the goal of both traveling to Europe. I'm not sure how long this will take, but I feel like I'll do CTB before fulfilling that dream.

 

[TheBigGuiltHaver]

The most long term goal I've had in the past five years is just getting money in some fashion, be able to buy a van, then house myself in Slab City for the rest of my life just reading books. It's not the most well thought out, as if my ADHD brain can handle a lifetime of being a hermit in the desert only reading books much less being able to read one book at all... and severe heat like what the Slabs has sucks ass. That's about all I had aside from the early childhood """dreams""" of college then good job and blah, blah, blegh.

 

[LastFlowers]

I had ambitions but I guess I never really sat down or paused to define precise goals, especially after a certain point, there was far too much clouding of the horizon and misery interfering with addressing a future worth living, most of my existence has come down to- "How do I eliminate these issues, so I can begin my life?!"

And yea, when death becomes the best option, what the fuck is the point of having long term goals, besides preparations for ending the suffering..

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Goal always was to have a good time until about 30 and drop dead

The first part of the plan success
Need N desperately to complete the mission

 

[Painless_end]

Yes absolutely

 

[Isit]

I had ambitions but I guess I never really sat down or paused to define precise goals, especially after a certain point, there was far too much clouding of the horizon and misery interfering with addressing a future worth living, most of my existence has come down to- "How do I eliminate these issues, so I can begin my life?!"

And yea, when death becomes the best option, what the fuck is the point of having long term goals, besides preparations for ending the suffering..

I've read a few of your posts. I really like the way you write. If you wrote a book i'd buy it 100%.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

Only 'goal' I have is to drag on until my father passes away, then I can go too. Hopefully he passes before I'm 30, I don't wish to hold on that long.

 

[LastFlowers]

I've read a few of your posts. I really like the way you write. If you wrote a book i'd buy it 100%.

Careful…you might give me hope.

But thank you, jesus, way too kind, I'm having my ego inflated left and right today..trust me, if the internet and all its resources did not exist, I would sound like a bumbling fool 100% of the time.
(Even the pressure to make my points comprehensible causes me to look up words I already know how to spell, and to double check the meanings of the most common phrases..only to overlook the actual blunders. I kid you not, I feverishly googled the correct spelling and tense of "laid" barely a moment ago.)

Just wait until you stumble upon one of my comments where I'm talking out of my ass, you'll be burning any book I ever attempted to write! lol

 

[FuneralCry]

I do not have any goals apart from death. There is nothing that I want from this life, I have never wanted to live and I never will. I live a pointless, empty existence. I just wish I was free from this world.

 

[ClownMe]

I laugh whenever people ask me where i want to be in 5 years time because I don't even know where ill be in 5 minutes time.

 

[meetapple]

I never set long term goals because I never had any sense of efficacy. However, my disdain for life does work against my efforts to conform.

 

[Nolan96]

Always just kicking the can down the road.
I never felt this world had a place for me.

 

[joshua123]

I don't have any long term goals. This end is inevitable for me, just waiting to be able to access N, for this to happen.

 

[ill_ostrich]

Yes, and now I am struggling to accomplish even short-term goals because my brain is stuck in "overtime", so to speak. Like, part of me feels as though I'm just not supposed to be here right now and nothing ever feels completely real. I regret choosing recovery, not because it isn't worthwhile but because I'm too shitty and incompetent to successfully recover in the first place. But anyways. Yeah. Goals? Never met her

 

[TakeMeBack07]

I became hopeless at a young age and I never had agency over my life due to a very overbearing mother. Really, I lived in my families shadow cowardly, following their rules, their decisions for me, etc. im trying to overcome this

 

[Q-Dust]

I became hopeless at a young age and I never had agency over my life due to a very overbearing mother. Really, I lived in my families shadow cowardly, following their rules, their decisions for me, etc. im trying to overcome this

The part about an overbearing family really resounded with me, Expect I just gave up not point in struggling when you've already failed

 

[TakeMeBack07]

The part about an overbearing family really resounded with me, Expect I just gave up not point in struggling when you've already failed

I'm not sure what you mean by the second sentence.
But yeah, I'm finding it's surprisingly common.
My mum suddenly became extremely controlling when her marriage started to collapse. I basically became her tool for her needs. Not like my efforts were reciprocated by her.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I'm not sure what you mean by the second sentence.
But yeah, I'm finding it's surprisingly common.
My mum suddenly became extremely controlling when her marriage started to collapse. I basically became her tool for her needs. Not like my efforts were reciprocated by her.

Many parents view the child as a financial emergency bailout valve

 

[its-about-time]

For many years now my sole goal as it relates to how long I'll stay alive is to not leave before my dog does. She's 12 1/2 now and these last 5 months have REALLY been difficult to stick to that goal. It's honestly barely a goal anymore, I have to constantly remind myself through guilt.

Longer than that, I've always been very interested in investments and stocks. I went to college for economics. But it seems absolutely pointless to tie up my money in investments when I expect to die before seeing any significant returns, so I never have.

I just kept me entertained with meaningless tasks (is there even amy meaningful task in life?)

The only meaningful things in life are the things that you find meaningful :)

 

[TakeMeBack07]

Many parents view the child as a financial emergency bailout valve

Haha. You are spot on. She would always talk about how I would have to get her out of her abusive relationship and work hard for her, as if that's my fucking responsibility? She'd create fake Islamic rules. I also noticed she would always play victim to manipulate me. She'd talk about the physical and mental abuse my father and his family put her through on and on. From the age of 10 this started, so at least I lived normally for a while. This could be seen as fine. But since she watched me be abused too, I will never forgive her. Love requires reciprocation
I'm realising how crazy her behaviour was now I'm typing it out.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I laugh whenever people ask me where i want to be in 5 years time because I don't even know where ill be in 5 minutes time.

Ahah so true. I feel like throwing myself out of a window when people ask me that in interviews.

 

[BrknEyes]

The only real goal I had crumbled in front of me when I got medically seperated from the military.is what it is.

 

[sserafim]

Either subconsciously I knew I didn't intend to live past a certain age hence why I was in survival mode and not thriving mode.

I never wanted to live past 18 and I had no post-college plans or goals because I never expected to actually have to adult. I honestly never expected to live past 18, I always thought that I would've died before then. I also thought that I would've ctb before graduating college. I wanted to ctb before turning 22 and then 23, but never got around to it. I always thought that I would've died before adulthood and that I would never have to enter the workforce or work for a living. I never saw or envisioned myself becoming an adult or living out life as one. Now I'm planning to ctb before 25 though. I guess my goal is this.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I did because I wanted to live until I was old. Now I don't and want to die every second.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

When I was a kid I could not imagine living as long as I have (I'm in my late 20s). I always imagined I would die young for some reason.

In college, I couldn't pick a major because I couldn't imagine myself, in the future, having a certain job for the rest of my life.

Not sure if this is related to SI or not, or just a lack of ability to plan long-term

 

[Headspace Dweller]

Both that, and not thinking I'd survive past my teens - I was convinced I wouldn't make it to 18, let alone pass it. There was a massive shift when I realized I would, and I had next to no long-term plans. I ended up winging it the best I could, but I'm still of the mind to end it all at some point soon, within the next year or so, when I'm fully prepared. I want to minimize the chance of failure as much as I can.

 

[sserafim]

When I was a kid I could not imagine living as long as I have (I'm in my late 20s). I always imagined I would die young for some reason.

In college, I couldn't pick a major because I couldn't imagine myself, in the future, having a certain job for the rest of my life.

Not sure if this is related to SI or not, or just a lack of ability to plan long-term

I'm in my early 20s but same. I always thought that I would die young and I never envisioned or imagined myself having a certain job for the rest of my life. I never wanted to grow up, and even as a kid, I never had a dream job or career. There was nothing that I wanted to be. I honestly didn't even expect to live this long.

 

[finalrequiem]

I've never had long term plans of any kind. Didn't think I'd be 18, 21, 25, and don't think I'll be 30. I can't hold a job to save my life. I never went to college. My dream job has always been animation but I want to get out of here more than anything.

 

[Beyond_Repair]

I'm in my early 20s but same. I always thought that I would die young and I never envisioned or imagined myself having a certain job for the rest of my life. I never wanted to grow up, and even as a kid, I never had a dream job or career. There was nothing that I wanted to be. I honestly didn't even expect to live this long.

Same, I didn't want to grow up either. I probably wouldn't have even gone to college if my friends hadn't pushed me. I've always been impressed by people who knew what they wanted to do for the rest of their lives at a young age and committed to it