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EmmaQanbana

EmmaQanbana

What's there to love of an empty husk?
May 31, 2023
25
11:25 on July 25th.

Today was another kinda crappy day. I'm officially broke now. I don't have a single dime to spend on anything. What's to blame? My poor memory and YouTube TV, I forgot to unsubscribe so it took the last bit of what I had.

Then on top of that, it seemed to be a mission today for my grandfather and dad to make my day a living hell, they kept trying to snoop through my stuff and get any information on my online life. And when I caught them, they tried to pretend like they weren't doing anything and had the audacity to make me seem crazy.

Not to mention, some people were talking about the r word around me, and that shit... Eugh. I absolutely hate that subject (it's not retarded, it's r-pe). So naturally, I asked for them to NOT have the conversation around me, and they not only got louder but proceeded to call me a snowflake. Sorry I'm traumatized from it I guess LOL.

And another thing, my plans for the weekend suddenly got cancelled cuz my irl friend group "is busy". Seems like it's just them being avoidant if you ask me but what do I know haha.

Last thing, went to a job interview this morning, and let's just say it didn't really go well, I can tell I was not being racially profiled but the person that was there gave off transphobia vibes cuz when I told him I was trans they gave me a LOOK. So I can almost guarantee I'm not getting that job.

Mentality score today, 2/10, I'm probably gonna just exist on vrchat for the night and live in my own world.

Tomorrow is another day.

VENT:

Why is it that it seems like I have one fucking good day and then things go completely 180 man. Why is it always fucking me. What did I EVER do to deserve this Hellhole that's life. I'm so sick of this loop of me being put in better situations only for life to then beat my ass. It's so tiring man. So fucking tiring.

Is it so much to ask to be loved and FEEL loved? Cuz that is literally the ONLY thing on earth I ask for and nothing can really make me feel loved (unless you're my last girlfriend cuz I felt loved and then well. I don't anymore)

It'll all end when I die I guess. I WANT to live but dude life always just chooses to beat my ass for no reason every. Fucking. Day.

Sigh... Goodnight y'all. Have a wonderful evening. See y'all Tomorrow. Have this picture of Sparkle as a visual representation of how I feel everyday.
 

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