Discussion Destroying relationships so nobody mourns me when I CTB

[cececinderella]

So, I used to do this a lot. I still kind of do it when I'm desperate to CTB or at least preparing to. It's common for people to not want to be alone when they do it, but for me, I'd rather be alone. Like I never existed socially. I'm not sure how many other people prefer that, too. My motive behind this was that so nobody would be sad or angry or disappointed when I passed on. The last thing I want is for someone to still be angry or disappointed or otherwise upset with me even when I'm gone. I've wanted to block everyone I know without warning, tell my boyfriend I'm leaving him [even if I really, seriously don't want to], and shut out everyone in my life just so I can pass on alone.
I don't want people to mourn me when I'm gone. I just want it to be like a minor inconvenience to everyone. Like "oh, I accidentally stepped in a puddle too fast and now my ankle is wet." Hell, I don't even want a funeral or anything.
It's silly, because I'm otherwise autophobic and being alone makes me act like a baby. So I suppose this is super self destructive. But all I want, if I do CTB, is for no one to care and have it all move on super fast. I'm just one person in the world, anyways.

 

[Big_Ocelot]

You aren't just one person in the world and I'm sure plenty of ppl u know would very much care abt what happens to you but that's not a reason for u to feel bad or guilty however your ctb makes them feel is not your responsibility your only responsibility is to make decisions abt your life cuz anyways you're the only one who's going to have to live with that.

 

[Griever]

 

[DeathIsJustAJourney]

That's all ive done the last 2 years,Turned myself into a nasty horrible mofo to make everyone hate me so that when I do go they're all glad of it,I used to strive to be good trying my best to make up for a criminal past then got setup by enemy's,since then I strive to be the most evilest,vilest,hatefulest and horriblest version of myself I can possibly be,there's no point trying to be good,It just gets you treat worse than when u was an actual criminal,now that my jobs done good I'm ready to go,so any day I can just pop off,just my timing has to be perfect or ill be stopped as people seem to think they can control when I die in this world when it's got sweet fa to do with them iether valium or smack od is gonna be my method,they think I won't lose them but on the day I will,ive made my plan so good they won't have the bottle to follow me as they will value their own lives too much to do so,it's crap how we gotta take these extreme steps to be successful but I guess that's mankind for u,too controlling and vile