qwerty1969
Member
- Feb 24, 2023
- 284
-
UK users: Due to a formal investigation into this site by Ofcom under the UK Online Safety Act 2023, we strongly recommend using a trusted, no-logs VPN. This will help protect your privacy, bypass censorship, and maintain secure access to the site. Read the full VPN guide here.
-
Hey Guest,
Today, OFCOM launched an official investigation into Sanctioned Suicide under the UK’s Online Safety Act. This has already made headlines across the UK.
This is a clear and unprecedented overreach by a foreign regulator against a U.S.-based platform. We reject this interference and will be defending the site’s existence and mission.
In addition to our public response, we are currently seeking legal representation to ensure the best possible defense in this matter. If you are a lawyer or know of one who may be able to assist, please contact us at [email protected].
Read our statement here:
Donate via cryptocurrency:
Bitcoin (BTC): 34HyDHTvEhXfPfb716EeEkEHXzqhwtow1LEthereum (ETH): 0xd799aF8E2e5cEd14cdb344e6D6A9f18011B79BE9Monero (XMR): 49tuJbzxwVPUhhDjzz6H222Kh8baKe6rDEsXgE617DVSDD8UKNaXvKNU8dEVRTAFH9Av8gKkn4jDzVGF25snJgNfUfKKNC8
clear sky 321
Member
- Mar 1, 2023
- 7
neuroconk
Curious to see how long I'll make it
- Mar 5, 2023
- 3
I find that whenever I have a vivid dream it sends me into this feeling of derealization and depersonalization for days. I stop knowing what's real and it feels as if my personality changes to the one I experienced in that new world my unconscious created. Also whenever I start to focus on the absurdity of things, it gets extremely disorienting.
CringeNihilism
Eternal Euthymia
- Feb 13, 2023
- 101
Happened to me before. ngl It was somehow comforting and calming. Wish I could experience derealization more.
neuroconk
Curious to see how long I'll make it
- Mar 5, 2023
- 3
I agree, it feels refreshing and adventurous in a way. Like there's a hidden world waiting for you that's the real one with knowledge that feels secretive as if you're a child again. Just sucks personally because it can send me into mania and cause me to make bizarre decisions
http-410
nowhere
- Sep 12, 2020
- 1,082
Besides great mental agony, derealization and depersonalization are the worst conditions for me, especially since they are permanent. Life is simply no longer worth living if you constantly feel like a zombie, a ghost or 10 feet behind yourself. It permanently feels like I'm disintegrating into my component parts, it has destroyed my concentration, memory and attachment to myself and the world around me. It's fucking killing me.
I find it unfortunate that some people are suffering as a result of this condition and I can certainly understand that if it also involves depersonalization, it could lead to less than fun experiences. I have empathy and feel for you if that is your case. For me, on the other hand, it's the exact opposite and it is the one thing that makes life worth living. I personally truly enjoy the dissociation that my body creates.
When life involves pain & suffering, and when one is confronted to the absurdity of life, what is one supposed to do? Some CTB, some keep suffering either because they can't physically CTB or they choose to endure for whatever reason (for their family, friends, beliefs...), and some find meaning in distracting themselves. Regardless, the pain is still present and it never really goes away. However, the few times when I do not suffer is when my body is dissociating from my thoughts. I live in a dream-like world where I am not fully in control of my environment but, somehow, it is still more pleasant than reality itself. My mind seldom goes to bad places, but more often than not, it ends up in an ideal world where I am actually reasonably happy although it's generally very abstract. It's a little difficult to explain, it's like being in a movie that your mind creates: lots is happening and even though you're not an actual part of the "story", you still enjoy watching as events unfold. When life sucks, any alternative is better, I guess. Similarly, I absolutely enjoy dreaming at night. It's a little bit of a balm for an otherwise shitty life.
Now there are some drawbacks. My memory is getting shittier and shittier and forgetfulness rules my life. It's not uncommon that if I need to run two errands, I do the first one and then somehow end up in a day-dreaming state and completely forget about the other one. At first, I was scared about the repercussions, but I just eventually stopped giving a f... I forget work stuff, meetings with friends and other things but whatever. When it happens, it is the only part of the day that I feel a little less the endless suffering that cripples me as my mind is busy in this "other world". I just stopped giving a s... about the "real" world. The one that my mind created involves much less suffering. And for me, this is as "real" as the other fucked up one.
When life involves pain & suffering, and when one is confronted to the absurdity of life, what is one supposed to do? Some CTB, some keep suffering either because they can't physically CTB or they choose to endure for whatever reason (for their family, friends, beliefs...), and some find meaning in distracting themselves. Regardless, the pain is still present and it never really goes away. However, the few times when I do not suffer is when my body is dissociating from my thoughts. I live in a dream-like world where I am not fully in control of my environment but, somehow, it is still more pleasant than reality itself. My mind seldom goes to bad places, but more often than not, it ends up in an ideal world where I am actually reasonably happy although it's generally very abstract. It's a little difficult to explain, it's like being in a movie that your mind creates: lots is happening and even though you're not an actual part of the "story", you still enjoy watching as events unfold. When life sucks, any alternative is better, I guess. Similarly, I absolutely enjoy dreaming at night. It's a little bit of a balm for an otherwise shitty life.
Now there are some drawbacks. My memory is getting shittier and shittier and forgetfulness rules my life. It's not uncommon that if I need to run two errands, I do the first one and then somehow end up in a day-dreaming state and completely forget about the other one. At first, I was scared about the repercussions, but I just eventually stopped giving a f... I forget work stuff, meetings with friends and other things but whatever. When it happens, it is the only part of the day that I feel a little less the endless suffering that cripples me as my mind is busy in this "other world". I just stopped giving a s... about the "real" world. The one that my mind created involves much less suffering. And for me, this is as "real" as the other fucked up one.
Jason84931
Member
- Mar 22, 2023
- 5
Sparr0w
please feed my pfp crumbs they are begging u
- Jan 24, 2023
- 300
occasionally, yeah. it's pretty hard for me to tell when i'm dissociating/derealising etc, i think i do it more than i realise...
i get derealization all the time. feels like im not a part of this world, like im outside reality. everything feels fake. it kinda is all fake though. we're just living in a hall of mirrors, everything is just a reflection of some other reflection, ad infinitum
i probably have what psychs would call "DPDR", not dx'd tho. i have too many other diagnoses to worry about adding that one, and diagnoses are just social constructs anyway that imo do more harm than good. i wouldnt even say i 'suffer' from derealization. derealization helps me dissociate from the pain and anxiety of this world and existence. it also allows me to see reality from an outside lens and to dwell in the existential dread rather than denying it. the only thing i suffer from is existence.
i probably have what psychs would call "DPDR", not dx'd tho. i have too many other diagnoses to worry about adding that one, and diagnoses are just social constructs anyway that imo do more harm than good. i wouldnt even say i 'suffer' from derealization. derealization helps me dissociate from the pain and anxiety of this world and existence. it also allows me to see reality from an outside lens and to dwell in the existential dread rather than denying it. the only thing i suffer from is existence.
Paradise
Drown me in the sea
- Apr 2, 2023
- 26
You phrased it very beautifully. Dpdr is a coping mechanism to shield you from the existence. I however think I suffer the most from dpdr than anything. I want to exist, I want to feel, I want to be real. But I can't. Endless cycle of being just a bit too detached to live.
