Venting Depression

[reapandsow918]

"You have to create new neuropathways. You have to change your behaviors and thought process. You have to create new and better habits". If only it were that simple friend. All I contemplate is suicide. The moment I wake up it's the first question that comes to mind. How can I do it? Where can I do it? My reasons for wanting to live in this shit hole are diminishing. I don't see a future in me and I don't see things getting better. These meds are sugar pills to me and the thoughts are not going away. Religion does not help. Unable to drink or smoke cigs because of my family.

I'm losing mind. I have a higher chance of becoming insane than committing suicide. I feel trapped, helpless, alone, tired and depressed. There is no Superman in my world. It's just constant suffering all day.

 

[Ark]

I am sorry for how you feel. I have had a lot of the same advice thrown at me. It is easy for people that do not suffer from constant depression, pain, anguish and suffering to tell others how to make it better. But they have no idea how we actually feel. I found my way to peace, I sincerely hope you find your way to yours.

If it helps, one thing that really helped me is the realization that I live each day, for others. I created an entire life for other people, and lived each day to make their lives better. I decided it was time to make a decision for me and me alone. I know my decision will hurt others, I am not naive. But, I have to do what's best for me for once.

I am not saying to make the decision I did, more so to find what YOU need to feel better, no matter what it is, and make the decision to do it for you. I honestly hope you find your way to peace.

 

[reapandsow918]

Thank you @Ark I really appreciate your advice. Thank you for understanding, you are truly a blessing to me. I realize that all I live for is for other people and that these feelings are not going to subside anytime soon. Sometimes we have to make decisions that will help us and think about ourselves for once.

 

[eSpJon]

dont feel sorry, society made double standard rules that apply to one person and dont to next, this will drive you insane if you take them for their word and its no no for anyone that has black and white thinking..

trust you will feel better if you follow your gut and ignore any bs they spew


and isnt depression a gut bacteria issue as well as hormonal? I read some scientific papers where they mention that