Discussion Depression/ Unhappiness and Ideation.

[Forever Sleep]

Have you ever felt unhappy without having ideation? Just curious really. Ideation started young for me- aged 10. So, I think- once I had figured out suicide was a reasonable choice (for me,) the two tended to go hand in hand. Feeling unhappy would naturally lead to at least passive ideation. Really as a possible- perhaps the ultimate solution. As in- if I wasn't alive, I wouldn't need to be trying to figure out how to solve this awful mess.

What have your experiences been like? Sometimes I wonder if depression without ideation- at least passive ideation would be worse! Maybe we use ideation as a coping mechanism. As a way out of this and all of our problems.

 

[rozeske]

I far as i can remember i have mostly been unhappy especially in my young days. I never really had much to be happy about tbh but living in a religious place suicide isn't really something you let yourself think about, not even sure it occurred to me. Ideation came a little later and even then it was quite hard to think about it too deep without the guilt and terror. It took a lot of being beaten down for me to allow myself to consider suicide and a while to come to terms with my Ideation, but now we are besties :) so I'm not sure if I've always had Ideation and just shut that voice down or if it's something that came later. My money is on later.