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I can't take this pain anymore so ive come to a decision. I can't tell anyone else but I can share with this, our community. I will ctb on the 28th July as close to 10:05 in the morning as possible. That will be exactly 5 years to the day when my soulmate, kindred spirit and beloved partner succumbed to cancer. I was thinking of doing it on my birthday but thats in November and too far away. I can't hang on that long. It gives me 3 months or so to sort things out. That date just feels so right.
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LoiteringClouds, nosoul, redbathingduck and 2 others
It's very much understandable wishing to finally be free from this cruel world. I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom that you are searching for.
Thank you. I've got 2800mg of fentanyl tablets and 470mg morphine tablets, but I'm not sure if I can take everything together or space it out. I'll ask closer to the time from the wise folks here. I'll wash it all down with whiskey. Once I commit it has to work. I've also got some amitriptaline and some metochlopromide so i don't throw up.
It's very much understandable wishing to finally be free from this cruel world. I hope that when the time is right for you to leave, you find the freedom that you are searching for.
Thank you I don't want to be here after July. The date and time when I pass is really important. My partner and I did absolutely everything together and the only thing we didn't do was to die at the same time. That's why I've chosen this date. The only things I'm really going to miss are my cats. That's Stan in my avatar, letting go of them will be so difficult.
Thank you.i really appreciate your comments. I was hoping. For some miracle cure but nothing has changed my mindset. If the venlafaxine doesn't work and I have no confidence it will, then I'll be at that bus stop waiting. I feel at peace with my decision. Just hope the tablets will be still effective. Family are fed up listening to my wanting to die and stopped answering my. chats, so im alone. We shouldn't be alone, it's not normal. They used to come to visit me but they dont now. They believe that life goes on after a loved dies and you are expected to just carry on as normal afterwards. I can't do That, im not wired that way, don't think like them. I live in a shrine. Everything is as it was when she was still here playing her guitars. Soulmates can't just move on and forget. My cats are new additions. She loved cats as much as me and would've adored them too like I do.
nearer the time I'll probably have many questions on my method so hope I'll someone will buddy with me to help me through it
love to you all
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