worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
I have a deep trauma that dates back to 2007. I showed over 300 women my face on cam back in the yahoo messenger days. ALL of em had ether a negative view on how I looked, or stopped talking to me all together. My ex wife thinks I'm the "hottest person she ever seen". Maybe I should focus on positive feedback like that. Since 2007, I look in the mirror for probably an hour a day trying to figure out "what's wrong with my face". People suggested that I have body dismorphic disorder.

Anyways, I showed my aunt the pic I showed tonight. Her first reaction was "WERE ARE YOUR EARS"? She also said it seems to distort my face..said the iPad makes me look like I have chipmunk cheeks. I believe her because I can see my ears clearly when I look in the mirror or when she takes a pic of me on her iPhone.

I lost my virginity at age 16, slept with 4 people in my life (including the one I was married to). Can't be that bad Again, sorry I freaked out. When I sober up, im gonna work diligently on my right to die manifesto and get my word out there. Still gonna use that flag/symbol and fight for all our rights.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Tomorrow, I am going to work on my right to die manifesto. Ain't much different from the first post I made on this website. Gonna mail my manifesto to all the major news outlets (even my local ones) with our symbol in tote. If y'all could do the same, it would really get attention. Don't have too. Getting national and even international attention is the first step.

I hope that one day, the right to die case will be sent to the Supreme Court just like Row v. Wade. This issue is much bigger than myself. I agree to sacrifice a lot to this. I will work very hard for myself as well as for all y'all. I truly believe that before this year is out, the manifesto will be on national news.

EDIT: I am gonna run my manifesto by y'all first. Wanna make sure I didn't leave anything out. Also, if anyone wants to add something, I welcome that.
 
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Sayo

Sayo

Not 2B
Aug 22, 2018
520
Yes, the way it works is that perspective can distort your face, especially close up. (This is sort of why some people use selfie sticks, to get less distortion from distance) When someone else takes a photo of you, they have a better angle just naturally from their position. If you want to know what you look like to a fish, take a selfie.
 
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Lunar

Lunar

Student
Aug 14, 2018
188
It's OK. I can understand about feeling ugly when so many other people have said it to you. I've been told it time and time again throughout my life as well and you start believing it so it becomes ingrained in you imo.

I'm not good with words, but I want to say thank you and I'm sure a number of people (including myself) are glad that you decided to stay on the site longer.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Yes, the way it works is that perspective can distort your face, especially close up. (This is sort of why some people use selfie sticks, to get less distortion from distance) When someone else takes a photo of you, they have a better angle just naturally from their position. If you want to know what you look like to a fish, take a selfie.
Thank you so much. You're right. Pics other people take of me do look better. Plus I shouldn't worry about how I look. What matters is what I am fighting for....The goal and the message! Sometimes I can be incredibly vain in my own insecurities. It's stupid if I think about it rationally.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
It's OK. I can understand about feeling ugly when so many other people have said it to you. I've been told it time and time again throughout my life as well and you start believing it so it becomes ingrained in you imo.

I'm not good with words, but I want to say thank you and I'm sure a number of people (including myself) are glad that you decided to stay on the site longer.
You are so very welcome. You are great with words because you said it perfectly. Thank you. Sometimes I get so caught up in my own head that I can't see the important things.
 
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PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,025
Tomorrow, I am going to work on my right to die manifesto. Ain't much different from the first post I made on this website. Gonna mail my manifesto to all the major news outlets (even my local ones) with our symbol in tote. If y'all could do the same, it would really get attention. Don't have too. Getting national and even international attention is the first step.

I hope that one day, the right to die case will be sent to the Supreme Court just like Row v. Wade. This issue is much bigger than myself. I agree to sacrifice a lot to this. I will work very hard for myself as well as for all y'all. I truly believe that before this year is out, the manifesto will be on national news.

EDIT: I am gonna run my manifesto by y'all first. Wanna make sure I didn't leave anything out. Also, if anyone wants to add something, I welcome that.
Are you feeling better?
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Are you feeling better?
Yes much. I realized that I was being irrational due to past traumas. I got really paranoid. It's a learning experience. Gotta focus on my intellect instead of emotions. Thanks for asking btw.
 
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PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,025
Yes much. I realized that I was being irrational due to past traumas. I got really paranoid. It's a learning experience. Gotta focus on my intellect instead of emotions. Thanks for asking btw.
Glad you are feeling better. If you ever want to talk you can PM me anytime :)
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
Glad you are feeling better. If you ever want to talk you can PM me anytime :)
Thanks man. I promise I will. I hate the way I acted earlier. All paranoid and shit. Doesn't do me any good and doesn't do anyone else any good. We are all in this together my friend.
 
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PatKat

PatKat

Meh
Aug 9, 2018
1,025
Thanks man. I promise I will. I hate the way I acted earlier. All paranoid and shit. Doesn't do me any good and doesn't do anyone else any good. We are all in this together my friend.
It is okay we are here to support whatever you decide or do. :) safeplace
 
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couldntthinkofaname

couldntthinkofaname

Mage
Aug 31, 2018
565
if you get your selfworth defined by your outer appearance or rather by the perceiption strangers have of your outer appearance .. you have a problem...
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
if you get your selfworth defined by your outer appearance or rather by the perceiption strangers have of your outer appearance .. you have a problem...
You're absolutly right! Been trying to tell myself that for years. Emotions tend to supersede logic in the animal kingdom...gotta learn how to use my intellect better.. BTW, I thought you were my ex wife at first due to your profile pic!

I hope she starts posting in here. She already made an account.
 
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couldntthinkofaname

couldntthinkofaname

Mage
Aug 31, 2018
565
You're absolutly right! Been trying to tell myself that for years. Emotions tend to supersede logic in the animal kingdom...gotta learn how to use my intellect better.. BTW, I thought you were my ex wife at first due to your profile pic!

I hope she starts posting in here. She already made an account.
seems like you guys have a healthy relationship


are you a narcissist by any chance - vulnerable or grandiose?
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
seems like you guys have a healthy relationship


are you a narcissist by any chance - vulnerable or grandiose?
Thanks. We still care about each other very much. I'm not sure were I fall on the narassisfic scale. I was never diagnosed with NPD. I do however have bouts of grandiosity and venerability. I think everyone is a narcissist to some extent. Nature of the beast. Afterall, we are predatory animals by definition.
 
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couldntthinkofaname

couldntthinkofaname

Mage
Aug 31, 2018
565
Thanks. We still care about each other very much. I'm not sure were I fall on the narassisfic scale. I was never diagnosed with NPD. I do however have bouts of grandiosity and venerability. I think everyone is a narcissist to some extent. Nature of the beast. Afterall, we are predatory animals by definition.
i was sarcastic about the healthy relationship...i mean you and your ex wife register together at a suicide forum
 
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Pk95

Pk95

Member
Jul 26, 2018
49
Glad you are back.. wish you luck with what ever you decide to choose.
 
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H

hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
please don't mail your manifesto with the symbol of this website in tote.
It will cause unwanted attention that can shut down the site. There have been deaths on this site.
It is best we are left to our own devices.
 
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S

samhelloall9

Experienced
Jul 16, 2018
297
Speaking for me, the amount of freakouts I have....you're among like minded people here
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
please don't mail your manifesto with the symbol of this website in tote.
It will cause unwanted attention that can shut down the site. There have been deaths on this site.
It is best we are left to our own devices.
How long has this site been up anyway? I wouldn't want to do anything to compromise it. If it compromises it than I won't attach any symbol to my manifesto.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
i was sarcastic about the healthy relationship...i mean you and your ex wife register together at a suicide forum
Ah sarcasm! I would have usually caught that. We really do have a good relationship over the phone.

I registered to this website first. Then told her about it. She said she registered and is planning on making a post. It should be under iHeartRockArt
 
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H

hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
How long has this site been up anyway? I wouldn't want to do anything to compromise it. If it compromises it than I won't attach any symbol to my manifesto.

I dunno-just PLEASE don't send this site around. It is illegal in many countries and we don't want others to know that it exists. At least, the prolifers.
thanks
 
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H

hunter_lewis

Specialist
Sep 17, 2018
335
also, I think you are way too traumatized about your face-you have a normal, healthy looking face of a young man. It is fine. you don't look like Brad Pitt, but you don't come over to me as being ugly. Charisma is also important in attracting women and obviously you were married so I think you are doing just fine with attracting enough women.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
I dunno-just PLEASE don't send this site around. It is illegal in many countries and we don't want others to know that it exists. At least, the prolifers.
thanks
I never had the intention of giving out this website. That would be a stupid move beyond Stupid. I want to get my manifesto out there and that's it. Nobody has to know about our group.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
also, I think you are way too traumatized about your face-you have a normal, healthy looking face of a young man. It is fine. you don't look like Brad Pitt, but you don't come over to me as being ugly. Charisma is also important in attracting women and obviously you were married so I think you are doing just fine with attracting enough women.
Thank you very much. Yeah I do score pretty high on charisma according to people who know me in person. What happened earlier was due to my own insecurities and past traumas. You're right about everything. I'll always be honest - said that from the beginning. Now it's my turn to learn from my fuck ups and move on from this.
 
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Lara Francis

Lara Francis

Enlightened
Jun 30, 2018
1,627
I have a deep trauma that dates back to 2007. I showed over 300 women my face on cam back in the yahoo messenger days. ALL of em had ether a negative view on how I looked, or stopped talking to me all together. My ex wife thinks I'm the "hottest person she ever seen". Maybe I should focus on positive feedback like that. Since 2007, I look in the mirror for probably an hour a day trying to figure out "what's wrong with my face". People suggested that I have body dismorphic disorder.

Anyways, I showed my aunt the pic I showed tonight. Her first reaction was "WERE ARE YOUR EARS"? She also said it seems to distort my face..said the iPad makes me look like I have chipmunk cheeks. I believe her because I can see my ears clearly when I look in the mirror or when she takes a pic of me on her iPhone.

I lost my virginity at age 16, slept with 4 people in my life (including the one I was married to). Can't be that bad Again, sorry I freaked out. When I sober up, im gonna work diligently on my right to die manifesto and get my word out there. Still gonna use that flag/symbol and fight for all our rights.
Nice to have you back.
The very best of luck with your manifesto and future plans.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
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weedoge

weedoge

Banned
Jul 12, 2018
1,525
I have a deep trauma that dates back to 2007. I showed over 300 women my face on cam back in the yahoo messenger days. ALL of em had ether a negative view on how I looked, or stopped talking to me all together. My ex wife thinks I'm the "hottest person she ever seen". Maybe I should focus on positive feedback like that. Since 2007, I look in the mirror for probably an hour a day trying to figure out "what's wrong with my face". People suggested that I have body dismorphic disorder.

Anyways, I showed my aunt the pic I showed tonight. Her first reaction was "WERE ARE YOUR EARS"? She also said it seems to distort my face..said the iPad makes me look like I have chipmunk cheeks. I believe her because I can see my ears clearly when I look in the mirror or when she takes a pic of me on her iPhone.

I lost my virginity at age 16, slept with 4 people in my life (including the one I was married to). Can't be that bad Again, sorry I freaked out. When I sober up, im gonna work diligently on my right to die manifesto and get my word out there. Still gonna use that flag/symbol and fight for all our rights.
I'm younger than you but I have a really curious relationship with my appearance and how I feel about it.. I look in the mirror a lot too or used to. I've had like ONE girl tell me I was her first ever crush and it felt good but that stuff doesn't really override the constant negative feelings especially when we've reinforced them every day.

I was interested to respond because I've wondered if I have some type of generic dysmorphia too. I used to think I was trans honestly and never reconciled those feelings but as time went on I realised I hate my appearance in general but it fluctuates so massively that there are rare days when I can look in the mirror at a certain angle and feel fine.. But then the next day or 20 mibutes later I look like a rat.

Anyway, don't worry I'm prone to freakouts too I got myself banned and unbanned, its just human to have emotions don't let anyone shit on you for being a little volatile.

I've embarrassed myself massively as I do everywhere I go, so I can vouch for at least myself not caring about your freak out hahaha. If it comes to it we can be the shithead outcasts
 
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L

lv-gras

fledermausßßßßßßßß
Jul 27, 2018
617
I'm younger than you but I have a really curious relationship with my appearance and how I feel about it.. I look in the mirror a lot too or used to. I've had like ONE girl tell me I was her first ever crush and it felt good but that stuff doesn't really override the constant negative feelings especially when we've reinforced them every day.

I was interested to respond because I've wondered if I have some type of generic dysmorphia too. I used to think I was trans honestly and never reconciled those feelings but as time went on I realised I hate my appearance in general but it fluctuates so massively that there are rare days when I can look in the mirror at a certain angle and feel fine.. But then the next day or 20 mibutes later I look like a rat.

Anyway, don't worry I'm prone to freakouts too I got myself banned and unbanned, its just human to have emotions don't let anyone shit on you for being a little volatile.

I've embarrassed myself massively as I do everywhere I go, so I can vouch for at least myself not caring about your freak out hahaha. If it comes to it we can be the shithead outcasts

have you seen a rat? rats are pretty cute. seriously look up pet rat sometime. so are mice and dogs and, but getting off track.

and so are you afaik, so accurate?
 
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