Decided on my method

[dumbash]

After much consideration, I've determined that I would probably go with a caffeine overdose. The week after my birthday, when I finish my final college final of the semester. I weigh 50kg and am planning to take 37 pills that are 200mg each... 7.4g (around recommended for death according to the "death by caffeine calculator"). Did have pre-existing issues regarding my heart that required moderate medical attention and surgery as an infant, although unsure of what. Nitrogen/helium tanks are too expensive, not many places for me to hang, and the consequences of a failed attempt (irreversible damage to the brain) do not seem worth it, SN/drugs/etc are all heavily inaccessible, etc. However, even with some searching, there was not as much information on the aftereffects, particularly, permanent damages that could cause serious caffeine overdose, nor how long would it take for one to die. Damages to the heart, the brain?, or whatnot... does anybody know what it may cause specifically (ex. heart damage but what kind/how it would affect one's life, such as the greater risk of a heart attack when older, cannot work heart as much during sports, etc), how long recovery would take/to kill me, assuming it does, and what may happen in the ER if reported before death/resurrected in case it fails? If anyone has had an experience with trying to ctb with caffeine, knows of the possible aftermath/science behind caffeine OD, and the such, please do let me know. I think I may be going with this method regardless of having enough information or not, but it would be nice to know and prepare for the worst if it comes to that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point.

There are a few reports of people accidentally overdosing on caffeine powder I have seen online. (Tom Mansfield from the UK was the article I read- poor guy- it was accidental.) Just google 'caffeine death' and quite a bit comes up. Honestly, the symptoms sounded pretty horrible- rapid heart beat and foaming at the mouth. I'm no expert though. I agree- so many methods are so tightly restricted or just plain terrifying- it's so hard to know what to do.

 

[dumbash]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point.

There are a few reports of people accidentally overdosing on caffeine powder I have seen online. (Tom Mansfield from the UK was the article I read- poor guy- it was accidental.) Just google 'caffeine death' and quite a bit comes up. Honestly, the symptoms sounded pretty horrible- rapid heart beat and foaming at the mouth. I'm no expert though. I agree- so many methods are so tightly restricted or just plain terrifying- it's so hard to know what to do.

Honestly, the effects during the actual OD sounds alright as long as I successfully ctb. More concerned with the permanent aftereffects that it may have on me, though. Any idea of what may happen after serious dosage and a failed attempt?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Do you want to share what has led you to contemplate suicide? It sounds like you're a student; I know that time can be very stressful.

 

[almaranthine]

Some threads you may want to read:

Post in thread 'Caffeine suicide'
https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/caffeine-suicide.104450/post-1793346

 

[ksp]

i don't know much about this, but better get informed
you'll need to bring your post count up so you'll have access to the search bar (i think >10 posts and >24 hours)
for now i'm linking you to 3 results that seemed relevant

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/caffeine-od.79991/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/about-od-caffeine-method.76164/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/just-failed-trying-to-od-on-caffeine-powder.86120/

it looks like very low chances of success
you might look at combining it with energy drinks (red bull, or similar)

 

[dumbash]

i don't know much about this, but better get informed
you'll need to bring your post count up so you'll have access to the search bar (i think >10 posts and >24 hours)
for now i'm linking you to 3 results that seemed relevant

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/caffeine-od.79991/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/about-od-caffeine-method.76164/

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/just-failed-trying-to-od-on-caffeine-powder.86120/

it looks like very low chances of success
you might look at combining it with energy drinks (red bull, or similar)

Seems like many didn't seem to take enough. Not sure of other accessible ways, though… Might up my dosage to 10g then, since it appears to be the standard LD + my bw being around 2/3 of most who attempted. Good idea; some red bull may do good, can the pills down with a can or two. Perhaps getting my post count up before then or even postponing it may do good, since the objective is to succeed without complications/minimize aftermath for those around me.

 

[ksp]

Perhaps getting my post count up before then or even postponing it may do good, since the objective is to succeed without complications/minimize aftermath for those around me.

exactly - more info will always be better than regrets and suffering (i'm also researching)

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly, the effects during the actual OD sounds alright as long as I successfully ctb. More concerned with the permanent aftereffects that it may have on me, though. Any idea of what may happen after serious dosage and a failed attempt?

Hmm, no- sorry- it's not something I've really looked into myself. I'm sorry.

 

[dumbash]

Do you want to share what has led you to contemplate suicide? It sounds like you're a student; I know that time can be very stressful.

In a nutshell, had depression starting around 11, anxiety prevalent from elementary years (first grade?) turned to self-harm as a coping method, wanted to ctb and envisioned it, although didn't know much of it/made plans, later developed an eating disorder at 14, and got addicted to nicotine in the process (appetite suppressant). No friends/close people to rely on except for one online, attachment/abandonment issues from parents divorcing young with no real support from people or things, series of fallouts between friends/people who some are meant to trust (ex. instance where privacy was invaded by a classmate reading my diary whose contained above things and insecurities, then proceeded to spread it all throughout high school), still no social life in college (not "bullied", but near-outcast), and finally the product of high expectations (of both myself and parents) yet lesser-than-desirable outcomes--was once a top student, fucked it up along with my mental health, and am now at a c-tier college, still without much aim and improvement while all of the people that I was surrounded with have somewhat of a grip in life. Had a try at recovery by being more open and confiding in with people several times throughout high school, currently "working on" quitting self-harm/suicide through a sports coach, though it became half-assed, and ultimately decided that it may be better to just end it instead of going "into recovery" while wussing out, and worsening my mental health slowly but surely. Burdened with too many friends (and fell out with most) with a lost cause. Lost hope and almost completely let myself go around 2 years ago, and here I am now.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

In a nutshell, had depression starting around 11, anxiety prevalent from elementary years (first grade?) turned to self-harm as a coping method, wanted to ctb and envisioned it, although didn't know much of it/made plans, later developed an eating disorder at 14, and got addicted to nicotine in the process (appetite suppressant). No friends/close people to rely on except for one online, attachment/abandonment issues from parents divorcing young with no real support from people or things, series of fallouts between friends/people who some are meant to trust (ex. instance where privacy was invaded by a classmate reading my diary whose contained above things and insecurities, then proceeded to spread it all throughout high school), still no social life in college (not "bullied", but near-outcast), and finally the product of high expectations (of both myself and parents) yet lesser-than-desirable outcomes--was once a top student, fucked it up along with my mental health, and am now at a c-tier college, still without much aim and improvement while all of the people that I was surrounded with have somewhat of a grip in life. Had a try at recovery by being more open and confiding in with people several times throughout high school, currently "working on" quitting self-harm/suicide through a sports coach, though it became half-assed, and ultimately decided that it may be better to just end it instead of going "into recovery" while wussing out, and worsening my mental health slowly but surely. Burdened with too many friends (and fell out with most) with a lost cause. Lost hope and almost completely let myself go around 2 years ago, and here I am now.

I'm sorry to hear all that; it sounds like you've been through so much. I'm not sure what to suggest considering I've "given up" too. Maybe post-college life will suit you much better. I might as well warn you not to sabotage your life out of indifference or apathy; you don't want to have to repair self-inflicted damage later down the road.