Discussion Debilitating Fear of Death

[mushroomdug]

TW: suicidal ideation

I stumbled across a quote on TikTok recently that has had a major impact on my perspective of death.

The quote is,

"This is the ending where you finally find your way home and the ancient terror inside of you is stomped out for good"

Idk where it's from but I like to imagine the "ancient terror" being referenced here is the innate fear of death that we all share as conscious beings (especially those of us in this group) and how it could also be in reference to things in nature like survival instinct/need to reproduce observed in pretty much all forms of life even plants and bacteria

Basically every living thing on earth has something deep in it's DNA screaming "LIVE! LIVE! DONT DIE! DONT DIE!"

I've had a deep fear of death for a long time. Practically on my mind almost constantly for about a decade at this point and it has been really harmful and debilitating to my mental health and quality of life which I'm sure you all totally understand.

The quote mentions how in the end we finally find our way back home and stomp out this ancient terror for good which I have come to believe is a metaphor for ultimately the relief that death will bring.

I hope I'm able to put this into the right words but basically there's a few facts we all understand about death.

1. It's terrifying
2. It's eternal
3. perhaps worst of all, It's inevitable. It WILL happen to all of us
4. perhaps best of all, death is not a conscious experience. You will not be there for death, it is the end of our experiencing which is hard to wrap our minds around (I struggle with this one greatly)

Having this fear is such a rollercoaster. At times the fear grows to such an unbearable size that I've truly considered killing myself which is ironic because of how counterintuitive that is to the fear of dying. But recently I've come to realize that the FEAR of death may actually be the worst part of death because the fear is in reality the only part we will ever experience (try to keep in mind fact #4)

It is the FEAR that keeps you awake all night, the FEAR that gives you panic attacks, the FEAR that makes you hyper aware of your safety and health. It may take some time to realize and accept this but the only real thing about death you will ever experience is the fear that leads up to it. This is why that no matter how awful and terrifying and confusing and heartbreaking and FINAL that death will be for all of us… it will at the very least be the end of our suffering.

I'm not in any rush to die but I do feel better now that I've been able to find this tiny silver lining in what used to be a pitch black void.

TL,DR;

I hope all our last breaths are sighs of relief

 

[deathLiberation]

Watch ForeverConscious on youtube, the NDE cases are the best we have as a "source" of what happens when people die.
It might be a trap though. Death seems like liberation from this prison, but there might be something ready to wipe your memory and put you back in this shitshow.

I embrace death, i still feel the need to prepare for it. I dont want to come back here.

 

[AkaRed]

This is a really wonderful post. Brings a lot of attention to the way we are wired as a species, and the fundamentals of our limited existence. Many of the people on this forum, myself included, have come to the consensus that death is a liberation. But you're right in that the fear associated with it makes it difficult to obtain.
The unknown is easily the most common and biggest fear one can have. The unknown of the dark, the future, the past or the present. We're all here living our separate yet equally conscious lives, all looking for something to hold onto. Our DNA provides the practical senses- our survival instinct keeps us clutching on as many steps as we can take until our bodies naturally give out. I think fighting that instinct and fear that is both attached to us through our very genetic makeup and what we've come to know as a society, is the only way we can really come to peace with our consciousness. For many individuals here, the decision to CTB is a decision to release that existence. Not a single person born on this planet ever asked for it, or knew it was going to happen. I don't think it's so bad to wish to return to a non-existent state sometimes. Must be nice.
<3

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm also afraid of the pain I might experience before death. Especially if I CTB. SN is looking the most likely and I'm sure that a racing heart and breathlessness will make me panic.

I suppose you have to wonder though- maybe death will be like other things in life. Have there been things you have been afraid of? An interview, a speech, an exam, a new job, an operation etc. Did any of them feel as terrifying when you were actually doing them? For me- I'm a terrible one for catastrophizing. It's not to say I haven't experienced unease and fear during something- but even then- most of the time- my dread of whatever it was initially was worse.

Maybe death will be the same- when we finally come to experience it- maybe we'll just go with it- rather than worry about it. Like you said- it's coming- there's nothing any of us can do to stop it ultimately. A bit like falling over- everything just seems to happen in slow motion- you know you're already falling- no stopping it- so, you just kind of hope you won't hurt yourself too badly and brace yourself for the impact. I don't know. Just thought I'd throw that in there.

 

[FuneralCry]

I only personally fear this hellish world, as existence is such a harmful burden where there is unlimited potential for us to suffer. Life in itself is the true problem and without life there are no problems, death solves everything as I very strongly believe that we just cease existing. To me the thought of permanent nonexistence is so incredibly beautiful, as by that point everything is finally forgotten about.

 

[Rational man]

Its understandable to fear death and like so many humans, the fear of death is common, even though on some level we know life is impermanence. My fear of death faded when i was diagnosed with a chronic disease. I realised that my days are numbered..i.then studied Buddhism and have attended several temples. I also spent more time in the forests and on the coast where i live. When i accepted that we as humans are just part of nature, that only today is guaranteed for everyone, that we are on a temporary journey, i felt so much better. I hope you understand!?