Debating to end my life tonight

[Ayeitsalaska]

I got some stuff shipped from Amazon. Was going to try to kill myself but having thoughts about hurting my family. and I don't want to scar them for life. I just don't want to be alive right now.......I just feel done with everything almost. I'm just not fully ready to snap I guess

 

[DownInaHole]

I'm so sorry for your suffering :-(

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

thank you

 

[Faraway1990]

Take time to consider all options friend I do not know you and as someone who recently came very close to CTB and have chosen to try life again maybe life is worth one more Push? ..... Don't beat yourself up okay consider your options and I respect whatever choice you make. It's upsetting of course to see other people get to this point.. know we are here for you.

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

I'm about to snap. i keep losing people i don't want to be hurt anymore. i've been hurting since age 5. tried to kill myself at age 6 for the first time. my idea tonight should work. i don't know if ill follow through.

 

[DownInaHole]

OMG. I'm so sorry

 

[Ayeitsalaska]

If I do it it's gonna be painful. Im bondaging myself to the bed, using a bdsm gag ball to mute my screams, and double tying two plastic bags with a belt
I'm going to meditate first and see if I clearly want to do this, if not i'll live I guess....for now
i think im gonna sign myself into to a mental hospital for the 5th time
i decided im just going to go to sleep, not gonna lose my job. Just try to survive another day I guess.

 

[Mbound]

Please don't make any impulsive decisions, it can lead to some really disastrous outcomes. This is something that can always wait. I'm sorry you're going through this much pain and we all understand here, never any judgment.

 

[Soul]

I'm very sorry you're struggling so. Please know we're here ready to listen when you want to talk. I wish you good outcomes no matter what you decide to do. (((Hugs)))