Discussion Debating on Telling Her

[Drakkamora]

So I'm sitting in my hotel room preparing to ctb. But I didn't tell anyone where I went or anything, just left. I think my best friend who I live with has an inkling that something is amiss. I'm wondering if I should tell her that I'm ctb and won't be coming home or not. The plus side is she's got no idea where I'm at or how to find me. The down side is she occasionally has some mad "fbi" skills and I risk her finding where I'm at. She knows where I stand as to being pro-ctb. Sometimes she agrees and and says she'd be willing to let me go but wants to be there when the body is found. Other times she says she'd be selfish and do everything in her power to stop me. I feel like I should tell at least 1 person so it's not a complete surprise when I've ctb and she'd be the one I'd confide in, if anyone. I'm just so confused if I should or not

 

[MidnightDream]

Can you schedule a text that sends at a time when it's already done?
Seems like the safest and least traumatic option for all

 

[Drakkamora]

Can you schedule a text that sends at a time when it's already done?
Seems like the safest and least traumatic option for all

I hadn't thought of that. I'm not sure if it's possible on my phone or not but I'm going to look into that now.
No, my phone doesn't do that

 

[MidnightDream]

I hadn't thought of that. I'm not sure if it's possible on my phone or not but I'm going to look into that now.

I know there's definitely programmes for sending scheduled emails if that's an option, not 100% on texts

 

[Drakkamora]

I know there's definitely programmes for sending scheduled emails if that's an option, not 100% on texts

I suppose it would help if I had her email to do that but all I've got is her phone number and fb.

 

[MidnightDream]

That's fair, my other thought if scheduling a text isn't possible is whether you could maybe send a text as late as you can, that makes it very clear that it's already done and too late for anything to be done. Obviously there's no way to know how someone will react to receiving that news, but if it's crystal clear that there isn't much she can do to help, it's less likely she'll try (I would assume).

 

[Drakkamora]

That's fair, my other thought if scheduling a text isn't possible is whether you could maybe send a text as late as you can, that makes it very clear that it's already done and too late for anything to be done. Obviously there's no way to know how someone will react to receiving that news, but if it's crystal clear that there isn't much she can do to help, it's less likely she'll try (I would assume).

Thats one of the lines I was thinking of, especially since it's so hard to tell where she would stand from one day to the next. I guess the hardest part of doing it this way is making sure, under no uncertain terms, that my wishes after I'm gone are followed.

 

[leeloosnow]

solid life choices

 

[Drakkamora]

solid life choices

And, at least for me, a hard one at that. Choosing to ctb was easier than this choice.

 

[MidnightDream]

Thats one of the lines I was thinking of, especially since it's so hard to tell where she would stand from one day to the next. I guess the hardest part of doing it this way is making sure, under no uncertain terms, that my wishes after I'm gone are followed.

Honestly the most you can do is talk to her, if you feel it needs to be a proper conversation rather than just a message you leave before you do it, you could always express to her that you can feel the time coming closer and you want to make sure she's agreed to xyz for when it does. She can't react to that in a way that would halt your plans, but you can get reassurance that she's happy to do what you need her to do before you do anything

 

[Drakkamora]

I have a feeling she definitely would adhere to my wishes. I just don't like not knowing for sure. I fear, however, calling her up now since the plan is for within the next 24 hours, would cause a delay or, potentially, I means of intervention before success. So I guess I am leaning towards last minute messages of conformation as the finality sets in and the bus arrives to send me off.

 

[byebyered]

Don't tell her. If deep down inside you want her to stop you , tell her.

 

[Drakkamora]

Don't tell her. If deep down inside you want her to stop you , tell her.

I was actually thinking about that point, too. So I wrote down my will and wishes and added the pages to a letter I've left for her. I'm holding faith she will do me right. I'll be shutting my phone off here in a little bit to ensure success.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I am sorry life brought you to this point. If i may ask, what is your reason for CTBing?

 

[Drakkamora]

I really don't want to get into that. I hope that doesn't offend you. I just know I haven't wanted to be alive for as long as I can remember, even as a child. Even when I'm not depressed and not in a manic state I don't want to be alive. Being made was not a choice, but being unmade is and it's mine alone to make. Honestly, I never even thought I would be around this long. I am quite surprised I haven't ctb yet, though granted I have tried numerous times already

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I really don't want to get into that. I hope that doesn't offend you. I just know I haven't wanted to be alive for as long as I can remember, even as a child. Even when I'm not depressed and not in a manic state I don't want to be alive. Being made was not a choice, but being unmade is and it's mine alone to make. Honestly, I never even thought I would be around this long. I am quite surprised I haven't ctb yet, though granted I have tried numerous times already

Its all good and is completely valid. I wish the best for you and the peace that you deserve <3

 

[Drakkamora]

Its all good and is completely valid. I wish the best for you and the peace that you deserve <3

Thank you, I wish the best for you too and hope you find your peace in whatever choices you make

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry life has brought you to this point. I have a feeling, if you contact her just before doing it- she may well contact the police and I imagine they can trace you via your phone signal maybe. I don't know. They seem pretty good at stuff like that now.

Personally, I would either write a note for her, or shedule a delayed email to someone else- with the note attached. I've heard that email providers also scan emails for words like 'suicide'- so I think an attachment may be better.

I wish you well- on whatever you decide and hope your journey is peaceful.

 

[Drakkamora]

After long and hard consideration, I've decided to simply stick with the note and leave it at that. I can't afford to increase the risk of failure for today.

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly think that it's for the best that you've decided to just leave a note, as I believe that telling others in advance could never be beneficial as it's too risky. But I've also never wished to exist at all, and I think that it's just the way that some people are, not everyone is meant for existing. But anyway, I hope that you find what you wish for.

 

[outrider567]

So I'm sitting in my hotel room preparing to ctb. But I didn't tell anyone where I went or anything, just left. I think my best friend who I live with has an inkling that something is amiss. I'm wondering if I should tell her that I'm ctb and won't be coming home or not. The plus side is she's got no idea where I'm at or how to find me. The down side is she occasionally has some mad "fbi" skills and I risk her finding where I'm at. She knows where I stand as to being pro-ctb. Sometimes she agrees and and says she'd be willing to let me go but wants to be there when the body is found. Other times she says she'd be selfish and do everything in her power to stop me. I feel like I should tell at least 1 person so it's not a complete surprise when I've ctb and she'd be the one I'd confide in, if anyone. I'm just so confused if I should or not

Don't tell her

 

[Drakkamora]

So, quite obviously I didn't go through with it as much as I wanted to. The fear of failing kept me from doing so. And when I got home, she called me out on it immediately. Turns out she already sensed something was going to happen. She's glad I didn't go through with the plan and definitely wants a chat some point soon. Her words: I hate it and I don't agree with it but I promised to let you go when you wanted to go. At least I know where she stands.

 

[TydalWave]

So, quite obviously I didn't go through with it as much as I wanted to. The fear of failing kept me from doing so. And when I got home, she called me out on it immediately. Turns out she already sensed something was going to happen. She's glad I didn't go through with the plan and definitely wants a chat some point soon. Her words: I hate it and I don't agree with it but I promised to let you go when you wanted to go. At least I know where she stands.

Sounds like a good friend.

 

[Drakkamora]

Sounds like a good friend.

Very much so