Venting Death, death and death again

[struggles_inc]

I finally got my invitation to a foreign university I've been dreaming to enter. And you know what?

My pet cat is dying. Right now. Some irreversible changes in the liver. I do my best and try to cure her. I'm at the vet like three times a week. My cat just gets weaker, the medicine doesn't work. I just witnessed her puke and then collapse to the floor.

I have two weeks left before I need to leave for my studies. That was my fucking dream. It came true while my dearest pet is suffering right before me. I hear her right now making feel-bad sounds. Fuck my fucking life. My fucking dream came true and it's fucking ruined.

I'm not seeking advice. Please do not advise euthanasia. I just can't. I fucking can't.

And I thought I would finally get away. Start a new life. No, fuck it. Here's death right at your doorstep AGAIN. FUCKING AGAIN.

I'll never leave this cycle. Wherever I go, I am doomed. Currently just obsessed with CTB thoughts.

 

[snowlance]

FUCK I'm so sorry this is happening. Is there still hope for her at all? Losing a pet is so fucking hard...

 

[struggles_inc]

FUCK I'm so sorry this is happening. Is there still hope for her at all? Losing a pet is so fucking hard...

The vet says blood analysis is super bad. All the hormones (whatever it is) connected to liver just skyrocketed. I make injections, feed her and give her medicine every day to no end.

What fucking breaks me is remembering how nice she was when she was healthy. She never even purred once since all that started.

 

[ame-chan]

I hope your cat find peace. Losing a pet is sooo hard omg. I'm so sorry this is happening honestly

 

[snowlance]

The vet says blood analysis is super bad. All the hormones (whatever it is) connected to liver just skyrocketed. I make injections, feed her and give her medicine every day to no end.

What fucking breaks me is remembering how nice she was when she was healthy. She never even purred once since all that started.

I'm so sorry. I hope there's some kind of miracle or something and she turns out okay. I almost lost my bunny to gi issues and I panicked, drove 2 hours to a emergency vet and paid 500$ only to thankfully find out she was just acting weird for no reason. Again, I really hope she makes, ill keep thinking about you and her.
She don't deserve this and you don't either, life just likes to be cruel for no reason, I hate it.

 

[struggles_inc]

I'm so sorry. I hope there's some kind of miracle or something and she turns out okay. I almost lost my bunny to gi issues and I panicked, drove 2 hours to a emergency vet and paid 500$ only to thankfully find out she was just acting weird for no reason. Again, I really hope she makes, ill keep thinking about you and her.
She don't deserve this and you don't either, life just likes to be cruel for no reason, I hate it.

I would give up my university plans for such a miracle. Fuck, I just want her back so much. I know I must keep taking care of her till the end, and I will, but the heartbreak is just more than I can handle. I just wonder sometimes if I could make an exchange with God or something and just die in her place.

 

[struggles_inc]

I have good news! Oh my Gosh! I've been to the vet today. The analysis is better this time.