nomorefight
Member
- Jul 1, 2019
- 43
Dear Body,
We have been together a little over 20 years and not once have we gotten along. Truthfully, I cannot speak for my relationship with you when I was little since I simply do not remember but I know from others that I was constantly sick as a child. Whether it be an earache or me needing stitches after hitting my head on tile steps, we never seemed to be in tune with one another. As I got older I grew to hate you. I spent hours looking at you in the mirror pinching and pulling all the parts I hated. Sometimes I couldn't even stand to look at you for seeing myself in the mirror was too painful. You have betrayed me many times and I know I have inflicted pain unto you as well. You stopped me from doing the one sport, the one thing, I loved- permanently. You cause me pain when I am trying to get by each day. Back pain, shoulder pain, hip pain, stomach pain, migraines. I cannot eat because of the pain you cause and the allergic reactions you have. You refuse to keep food down and break out in hives at random times. You embarrass me as you are constantly trembling; people ask if I am okay if I am cold or nervous and I never know what to say. You spontaneously fill my eyes with tears. You betrayed me while I was being assaulted, making him think I was enjoying it giving him signals that I liked what he was doing to me when you knew damn well I was trying to stop him. You made him believe what he was doing was okay and now I am the one who deals with the flashbacks, not you. You have put me through so much and I hate you for that.
I have also mistreated you, sometimes without knowing I am and other times on purpose. I'll admit I could have participated in a sport that was gentler on you but I was so young I did not realize the effect it would have. I have deprived you of food and water in hopes that you will stop working. I have sliced you open at the hips and wrists out of anger. I needed to remind you how much I hate you. I hit you and scratch you wondering how many different color bruises I can form on you. Repeatedly hitting your head on the headboard hoping to black out, because if even just for a second it would be some relief. I tightly grasp my throat to feel what it would be like to hang you from the ceiling. I hate you I truly do. If I was offered an out I would take it in a heartbeat. I think you are ugly, fat, stupid, and overall just an inconvenience to this world. I have broken you, but you have broken me more. I do not feel connected to you: I never have and I never will. Hopefully our time together will be over soon.
Sincerely,
Me
We have been together a little over 20 years and not once have we gotten along. Truthfully, I cannot speak for my relationship with you when I was little since I simply do not remember but I know from others that I was constantly sick as a child. Whether it be an earache or me needing stitches after hitting my head on tile steps, we never seemed to be in tune with one another. As I got older I grew to hate you. I spent hours looking at you in the mirror pinching and pulling all the parts I hated. Sometimes I couldn't even stand to look at you for seeing myself in the mirror was too painful. You have betrayed me many times and I know I have inflicted pain unto you as well. You stopped me from doing the one sport, the one thing, I loved- permanently. You cause me pain when I am trying to get by each day. Back pain, shoulder pain, hip pain, stomach pain, migraines. I cannot eat because of the pain you cause and the allergic reactions you have. You refuse to keep food down and break out in hives at random times. You embarrass me as you are constantly trembling; people ask if I am okay if I am cold or nervous and I never know what to say. You spontaneously fill my eyes with tears. You betrayed me while I was being assaulted, making him think I was enjoying it giving him signals that I liked what he was doing to me when you knew damn well I was trying to stop him. You made him believe what he was doing was okay and now I am the one who deals with the flashbacks, not you. You have put me through so much and I hate you for that.
I have also mistreated you, sometimes without knowing I am and other times on purpose. I'll admit I could have participated in a sport that was gentler on you but I was so young I did not realize the effect it would have. I have deprived you of food and water in hopes that you will stop working. I have sliced you open at the hips and wrists out of anger. I needed to remind you how much I hate you. I hit you and scratch you wondering how many different color bruises I can form on you. Repeatedly hitting your head on the headboard hoping to black out, because if even just for a second it would be some relief. I tightly grasp my throat to feel what it would be like to hang you from the ceiling. I hate you I truly do. If I was offered an out I would take it in a heartbeat. I think you are ugly, fat, stupid, and overall just an inconvenience to this world. I have broken you, but you have broken me more. I do not feel connected to you: I never have and I never will. Hopefully our time together will be over soon.
Sincerely,
Me
