Venting Dealing with Perfectionism

[Unsure and Useless]

Lately, I've lost interest in all my hobbies, so I decided to take up a new one: knitting.

Ideally, I would slowly learn to knit and thus have another outlet for my anxiety as well as spice up my life in order to regain my interest in my old hobbies, but it didn't really pan out that way.

I know that I struggle with perfectionism. However, it really hit hard while knitting. My stitches had odd gaps in some areas for reasons I don't know; some areas were tighter, others were looser; and transferring the final stitch often resulting in an extremely large loop that I had no idea how to fix.

Initially, it started with the basic "I suck at this, I should just stop," which I ignored since "practice makes perfect" and all that. Then, with each mistake, I started getting sweatier, and my hands started shaking more. Eventually, it got to the point where my heart started to race, and my eyes watered.

Even now, after setting aside the yarn and needles, I still feel dread and anxiety.

I want to pick the needles back up again, but I feel like if I do, I might actually start crying.

It sounds so childish to have the equivalent of a tantrum at not being good at something, and I really can't say that it isn't. If I had forced myself to continue knitting, and had abandoned any semblance of dignity, I would've probably thrown the yarn across the room and sobbed.

It sucks ass dealing with perfectionism. You can't get a new hobby without having a mini anxiety attack, nor can you do anything new. Eventually, you're stuck in between the fate of stagnation and the fate of failure.

It's getting to the point where I believe that I can't try anything new unless I'm on something. (I haven't tested this, though.) Otherwise, I'll push myself into an anxiety induced panic.

In conclusion, I'm not going to pursue knitting for a while. I don't know what I'm going to do in the meantime, but I know for sure it's not knitting.

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

I think if a hobby creates more stress than enjoyment then it's not worth pursuing.
I suffer from anxiety and am a perfectionist too.
There's no middle ground with when it comes to doing things like hobbies, I guess I'm just too hard on myself
Sorry you are going through this.

 

[Dot]

Lately, I've lost interest in all my hobbies, so I decided to take up a new one: knitting.

Ideally, I would slowly learn to knit and thus have another outlet for my anxiety as well as spice up my life in order to regain my interest in my old hobbies, but it didn't really pan out that way.

I know that I struggle with perfectionism. However, it really hit hard while knitting. My stitches had odd gaps in some areas for reasons I don't know; some areas were tighter, others were looser; and transferring the final stitch often resulting in an extremely large loop that I had no idea how to fix.

Initially, it started with the basic "I suck at this, I should just stop," which I ignored since "practice makes perfect" and all that. Then, with each mistake, I started getting sweatier, and my hands started shaking more. Eventually, it got to the point where my heart started to race, and my eyes watered.

Even now, after setting aside the yarn and needles, I still feel dread and anxiety.

I want to pick the needles back up again, but I feel like if I do, I might actually start crying.

It sounds so childish to have the equivalent of a tantrum at not being good at something, and I really can't say that it isn't. If I had forced myself to continue knitting, and had abandoned any semblance of dignity, I would've probably thrown the yarn across the room and sobbed.

It sucks ass dealing with perfectionism. You can't get a new hobby without having a mini anxiety attack, nor can you do anything new. Eventually, you're stuck in between the fate of stagnation and the fate of failure.

It's getting to the point where I believe that I can't try anything new unless I'm on something. (I haven't tested this, though.) Otherwise, I'll push myself into an anxiety induced panic.

In conclusion, I'm not going to pursue knitting for a while. I don't know what I'm going to do in the meantime, but I know for sure it's not knitting.

Srry u r strgglng wth ths - = frstr8tng whn mnd gs frm 0-100 on thngs

Slf alwys struggld wth knittng as ws v fddly wth lts of thngs tht cld g/ wrng & slf ws oftn out of slf dpth

Wld thre b n.e slghtly diffrnt bt simlr actvtis t/ try tht r easr & hve sme xtra gudnce whch pts lss pressre on u

Sme pssbl xampls cld b crss-sttch or paintng b/ numbrs or smethng lke a weavng loom or crochet

Or perhps thre r sme locl grps whre u cld knt wth mre xperncd ppl & thy cld hlp educ8 u whn u r stck & u wld nt b puttng all tht pressre on urslf 2 b perfct

Slf usd t/ lke papr-crfts lke stampng & crd-makng bcse = ws mre abt playng wth plce-mnts & colrs of xistng templ8tes whch agn ws lss pressre & dd nt tke as mch immedi8 skll s/ thre ws mre spce t/ jst b cre8tve - also thre wre nevr 'xpectd wys' fr thngs t/ lk lke whn finshd s/ agn ws lss pressre

Loom knittng
Fingr knittng
Weavng
Resin
Stampng

 

[ForgottenAgain]

You described it perfectly, that is really how I've felt for years with painting. I used to paint because I enjoyed it, it was always relaxing and pleasurable and I would at least draw every day.

Then at one point I started comparing myself to others, pair that with a drawing tablet that wasn't right for me and I went through the worst years of forcing myself to draw and paint even if I hated it.
I would be just like you said, crying, shaking, anxious, frustrated. After that I decided to stop art altogether and that lasted almost 10 years.

Perfectionism is a nightmare.

I'm not entirely sure of all the things that made me recover in terms of art but one thing I know that helped massively: getting a display drawing tablet. This way I was drawing/painting directly on the screen and it made a world of a difference. Maybe you don't have the right materials? As for the mental part, that took months and it was a mix of forcing myself to paint, just a little, when I felt the tiniest inkling to paint, and also painting very simple things, like a piece of fruit or an egg.

Hobbies are a big part of who I am, I think you may be similar from the way you're talking, so it's so hard when things are taken away by our own minds... I think for me it's harder to start a new hobby from scratch than try to continue with the one I already know. You will know yourself best.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Yes, I relate. I went through a knitting phase but I never worked out how to correct a dropped stitch- so, I used to do it in terror of making a mistake. That's what a large gap sounds like though. Might be worth finding out how to fix that if you ever decide to return to it.

Creativity in general is somewhere between a blessing and a curse I find though. It has pretty much given my life it's meaning but at the same time, it's hard to describe to people how much anguish it causes when it's going wrong- which is lots!

 

[CPY]

I struggle with this too.Whenever I try to pursue a hobby I always want it to be done absolutely in the perfect way.I have to go over every step in my mind as if I wanted to be absolutely sure I'll be able to do it.I really wished I could just stop being interested in so many things

There no cure beside having people around me so I'm forced to live with my parents.It makes studying hard as well