Dealing with mean people

[littlelady774]

Just spent the last hour crying because of something somebody said on here to me. It got reported/ deleted- but it's still stuck with me.

How do you guy usually deal with mean/ hurtful comments? Do you let it get to you?

 

[ReadyasEver]

Ignore it. Most people on this site are fairly decent and polite, but a few slip through the cracks. Sorry you had to endure this.

 

[newdawnfades]

I'm sorry that happened... I usually just forget about it as to not let it eat at me. That's pretty easy to do if it's a stranger or an acquaintance. If it's someone I view as close to me... I just play whatever it is over and over in my head until I become numb to it.

 

[Dor]

Oh I'm so sorry :( It has not happened to me so far. But I guess I would try and distract myself by taking a few hours break from this place and do something else to kind of break the emotional tie that I have with this place so it doesn't get to me as much. Not sure :/

 

[lost_soul83]

Just spent the last hour crying because of something somebody said on here to me. It got reported/ deleted- but it's still stuck with me.

How do you guy usually deal with mean/ hurtful comments? Do you let it get to you?

Just remember that when someone is mean to you, it says everything about them and nothing about you. Usually when people are hurtful to others, it's because they've got shit going on in their own lives that they can't control. Try not to hold it against them, they're doing the best they can to cope. Just forgive them for your own piece of mind and move on.

 

[CuriousAboutThis]

Just spent the last hour crying because of something somebody said on here to me. It got reported/ deleted- but it's still stuck with me.

How do you guy usually deal with mean/ hurtful comments? Do you let it get to you?

I would let it slide do some CBT something that makes you feel better I've been vaping and also listening to meditation music which isn't for everyone but works for me or music you love listening to.

 

[littlelady774]

Thanks everyone. It means a lot. I guess I'm just good at taking things too much to heart

 

[JustAboutDone]

Hi sweetheart, I'm sorry you are hurting. Have a cyber cuddle. I don't know if you have a cat or dog? But now is a good time if you do to cuddle said pet. Also make yourself a warm or alcoholic drink.

What I think to myself is, "did that person mean to offend me personally and deliberately to be spiteful and unkind?" Or were they just making a general comment. The chances are it was a comment - people express themselves so differently and things can be misinterpreted.

If it was most definitely a stab at you personally then I would feel sorry for them - they must be hurting badly to feel so vicious to lash out at a stranger.

Sending you more hugs xxx

 

[littlelady774]

Hi sweetheart, I'm sorry you are hurting. Have a cyber cuddle. I don't know if you have a cat or dog? But now is a good time if you do to cuddle said pet. Also make yourself a warm or alcoholic drink.

What I think to myself is, "did that person mean to offend me personally and deliberately to be spiteful and unkind?" Or were they just making a general comment. The chances are it was a comment - people express themselves so differently and things can be misinterpreted.

If it was most definitely a stab at you personally then I would feel sorry for them - they must be hurting badly to feel so vicious to lash out at a stranger.

Sending you more hugs xxx

Thanks so much Hugs back- You're probably the sweetest person on this site.
You speak words of wisdom.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Thanks so much Hugs back- You're probably the sweetest person on here.
You definitely speak words of wisdom there.

Awww darling, I don't know about that - I find the answer to a lot of things is chocolate. Do you have any in the house? If so, have something sweet and scrummy.

Lots of people carry pent up anger and lash out - sometimes you end up being in the firing line and it's painful! But it's not anything you've done so try and let it wash over you like a warm soapy bath :-) xxx

 

[JustAboutDone]

@littlelady856

I always liked this quote from Michelle Obama when she did a round of talks to schools :-)
"We explain when someone is cruel or acts like a bully, you do not stoop to their level. Our motto is when they go low, you go high."

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I can assure you, you are already well liked on here, by me and many others. A forum is a bit like life I suppose. Generally full of basically good people, with the occasional bad egg. Hopefully you are able to let it go, and know it has no bearing on how the community at large sees you.

 

[Final Escape]

These type of people feed off your reaction to their insult or attack. Now, when I can see someone attacking me I just back away and not feed into it. Sometimes it's hard though. I once heard someone say this quote about wrestling with pigs. "Don't wrestle with pigs, both of you will get dirty but the pig likes it" Don't internalize the insults you get here or from anywhere. It's really fun when people gang up on you lol! At least you know they can't really do much to you over the Internet. Words are just words, and everyone should be allowed to say what you think as long as you are not outright abusing people on here. You will run into unpopular ideas but it's up to you if you allow it to trigger you into rage and insults. I used to have this happen too. Never take stuff too seriously on here. Let it slide and just back away if you feel yourself getting worked up. An insult doesn't mean you deserved it or that it's about you.

 

[HellinHeaven]

Don't let you draw down just because of one stupid person, that's not worth it. It's totally okay crying, that means you are a feeling and sensitive human. It is really hard to exist in our cold, egoistic and performance-based society, but you have a valuable ressource for your own happiness beside the emptiness of consum and superficiality. It's a burden and a treasure at the same time, but it's original you

 

[therhydler]

I'm so sorry. It's easy to say don't let them get to you, but in practice it can be hard... I am very over sensitive and tears will well up in my eyes if someone is even a bit mean to me. And I try hard not to hate myself for it, which is also easier said then done. So.... yes I always let things get to me, I can't help it. I am easily crushed. Lots of hugs for you, I hope they make you smile and forget about those tears. All those assholes out there are not worth it

 

[TAW122]

I generally stand my ground at first, but then I too, also ignore them and move on whenever I learn that there is no winning or good resolution to come of it. I may have had one or two people on here that has attacked me, but I don't really reply to them afterwards.

 

[anelakapu]

Just look at the bright side - The fact that you have feelings is a testament to how much life you have left in you!!!!

 

[Life sucks]

It happened to me before and it takes time to recover. But don't let them hurt you anymore, if you feel bad about something or someone or even, you can ignore them. Use this tool for protection.

 

[netrezven]

I never act mean to people who are well-meaning. But my way of dealing with mean people is ignorance, or when that's not enough being worse to them works just fine.

 

[ReadyasEver]

Most people who are mean are not 100% hateful to their core. They might be responding to societal or peer pressure, under stress, or having some anxiety of their own. I usually disregard it and show no response, that usually diffuses the situation most of the time. But, like everybody else, sometimes it hits a nerve.

 

[Susannah]

Some people are mean, and in my opinion they're mean because they're a bit stupid (you're smarter and they know). When I meet arrogant people, I always think about throwing them a left hook! It helps me a lot. I feel stronger than them. I also keep a confident posture.

Lots of love

 

[Soon4me]

Just spent the last hour crying because of something somebody said on here to me. It got reported/ deleted- but it's still stuck with me.

How do you guy usually deal with mean/ hurtful comments? Do you let it get to you?

Nope.I practise black magic.Anyone on my shitlist will be on the receiving end.

 

[TooLate2582]

Just spent the last hour crying because of something somebody said on here to me. It got reported/ deleted- but it's still stuck with me.

How do you guy usually deal with mean/ hurtful comments? Do you let it get to you?

I am a confrontational type a person. I call people out on their bullshit and don't back down until they submit. I can be 100 times worse than anyone I go against. Not your stereotypical suicidal person, but it works for me. I also have a tendency to do the same for people I see as victims of mean people Who, for whatever reason, cannot stand up for themselves.

I'm sorry that I missed that comment, there's nothing I love more than a good confrontation. Never go up against a guy who has nothing to lose.