Venting Dealing with friends

[serah]

Just a vent post. Been very open with an online friend about my depression and suicidal thoughts. I've for the most part been very open about the fact I plan on comitting suicide. I found a method, one that works and gets rid of all the tiny problems I had with previous methods. I have a date set, it's not anytime soon I'd have to wait more than a year to execute it. Mentioned it to the online friend, since the topic came up. We had talked about it before and they did the usual trying to talk me out of it. This time was just more stressful, they opened up more about their own struggles with suicide, and how they wanted to kill themselves as well a year ago. They're doing better now, but one thing that pisses me off is the constant want to also help me. If they understand what it is to be suicidal, why not understand where I'm coming from? I've struggled with suicidal ideation and depression since the age of nine, my desire to ctb is not something new and it's only gotten stronger as the years go on. They went through a suicidal episode for 1-2 years, but even going through that should give them an understanding of what it is to not want to live. However they've taken the stance of, "if I found a reason to keep going, you can too". It's just annoying and I regret even opening up. I mention how being on medication made me feel pathetic, how needing a pill to distract me from the fact I want to die, feels awful. They made a comparison to needing allergy medicine, and how them needing it doesn't make them pathetic. I get what they were trying to do, a comparison between how being dependent on something doesn't take away from your worth. Of fucking course not, but it just pissed me off how they tried to make a comparison between struggling with a runny nose and dealing with a chemical imbalance in my brain that makes me wish everytime I went to sleep I wouldn't have to wake up.

It seems like the only people I can truly be open to is those on this forum.

 

[27clubBRIAN]

Yeah I hate those people that do the " I can do it so can you " it's like saying "I've suffered and made it through therefore I know the very scale and degree which you suffer on a everyday basis" . very pitiful

 

[FuneralCry]

People like that will simply never be able to understand. They are not living your life and experiencing life the way that you do. I think that those who think that things can get better for everyone, must be delusional, as it does not reflect the reality of this life. In my opinion, it's best to not talk to people like that about wanting to die. Many people live in denial of the fact that things can get that hopeless, as they don't want to face the fact that things could potentially get that bad for them.

 

[Ash’Girl]

Thing is, they should understand what it's like to need to be heard and seen as you are, not as they imagine you to be, but people can often only see through the lens of their own experiences.

Sorry you are being invalidated from what sounds like one of the few sources of support available to you.