Dealing with friends who use hard drugs/are dealing with addiction

[tiredplant777]

I went on a trip with my friend recently who relapsed into using hard drugs for the first time since I've known him. It's fucking sad and it fucking sucks. I don't mean this to shame anyone but the overwhelming feelings I feel about this are anger and grief. He didn't do drugs on the trip but he got too drunk for us to explore more where we were. I'm really sorry if this offends anyone also. I understand addiction comes from a place of trauma and disconnection and it's a really hard battle. But yeah I am just really struggling with it and it was so hard trying to manage how I felt about it the whole time, a lot of feelings of disappointment and also grief because he is so different in a lot of ways to when I knew him before and when he was sober. As someone who has a lot of trauma and as someone who has been pushed to the edge it's just hard to deal with because It feels like it's pushing me even further. I hope he gets better it's just so hard to see.

 

[Life_and_Death]

im not sure how i feel about what youve said. im not sure what to say.
thank you
im sorry youre dealing with that

all i can really say is im on the other side of the coin

 

[tiredplant777]

im not sure how i feel about what youve said. im not sure what to say.
thank you
im sorry youre dealing with that

all i can really say is im on the other side of the coin

Oh no I am so sorry you're on the other side of the coin. I hope you can get the help and support you need. I'm really sorry if my post was triggering or caused offence too <3

 

[Zegers]

If he is your friend, reach out to him, talk with him, it will help and tell him you was uncomfy when he is too high.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Oh no I am so sorry you're on the other side of the coin. I hope you can get the help and support you need. I'm really sorry if my post was triggering or caused offence too <3

no im not offended at all. a lot of what you say reminds me of my ex-so that blocked me a month and a bit ago....and im still smokin weed today

 

[tiredplant777]

If he is your friend, reach out to him, talk with him, it will help and tell him you was uncomfy when he is too high.

Thank you. I did speak to him about it a bit. Basically his friends give him cheap drugs, cheap cocaine, cheap crystal meth... I've told him to go to NA and he went once but didn't go back. I am going to speak to my therapist about this. He didn't get high when we were hanging out this time but he got kind of drunk instead. The way he was casually talking about crystal meth and other drugs really scared me.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Thank you. I did speak to him about it a bit. Basically his friends give him cheap drugs, cheap cocaine, cheap crystal meth... I've told him to go to NA and he went once but didn't go back. I am going to speak to my therapist about this. He didn't get high when we were hanging out this time but he got kind of drunk instead. The way he was casually talking about crystal meth and other drugs really scared me.

what about going with him for support?

 

[tiredplant777]

no im not offended at all. a lot of what you say reminds me of my ex-so that blocked me a month and a bit ago....and im still smokin weed today

Oh I am sorry that happened. I actually smoke weed myself, well I vape mostly, but I do it in moderation and it doesn't interfere with my life. Also where I live it's legal, if that really matters either way. I know it can be really problematic for other people though and I have seen it be problematic in others.

 

[tiredplant777]

what about going with him for support?

This is a good idea thank you. I don't think he'd want me there tbh but I might actually bring it up with him. It seems like for now he doesn't really want to stop. I live far away now so I only see him when I visit family now, which I've been doing quite often.

 

[Life_and_Death]

This is a good idea thank you. I don't think he'd want me there tbh but I might actually bring it up with him. It seems like for now he doesn't really want to stop. I live far away now so I only see him when I visit family now, which I've been doing quite often.

i know guys can be different about things sometimes, but being open is a good way to help. talking about how you each feel, not pushing too hard. clarifying things like "hey if youd like i can go with you but if theres ever a day you dont want me to (because its personal or whatever) then thats totally cool"
my favorite is under the graveyard by ozzy. in the video you see him struggling with his addictions but his wife is there for him (true story, my favorite part)

 

[western_heart]

Being too drunk to do planned activities is a problem, but you mentioned that he didn't use hard drugs during your trip. Talking openly and positively about drugs doesn't necessarily mean someone is actively addicted. Fixating on the hard drugs might end up pushing your friend away. Listening without judgment & offering support if asked is the best thing to do.

Personally I would react poorly to someone pushing me to go to a 12-step meeting, it would make me resentful, especially if told to go to NA when I was actively drinking to excess. When I was addicted to coke and meth, I secretly wished for someone to reach out, to help me stop, but I didn't ask. I often kept things to myself because people were all too eager to blame my problems on drug use while being unwilling to talk about the underlying causes (trauma, burnout, psych medications) that led to my addiction in the first place. What I needed back then was help getting my life in order. I needed to leave the environment I was in, I needed a different job. I was using drugs because my life sucked, stopping the drugs wasn't enough to fix that.

 

[tiredplant777]

i know guys can be different about things sometimes, but being open is a good way to help. talking about how you each feel, not pushing too hard. clarifying things like "hey if youd like i can go with you but if theres ever a day you dont want me to (because its personal or whatever) then thats totally cool"
my favorite is under the graveyard by ozzy. in the video you see him struggling with his addictions but his wife is there for him (true story, my favorite part)

Thanks! I'll think about it. I won't push him, I might just be more honest and tell him how I feel about it and tell him I'm scared for him and just scared in general. Oh yeah Ozzy's wife has been through so much with him actually <3 And I think he's been with her through her bulimia.

Being too drunk to do planned activities is a problem, but you mentioned that he didn't use hard drugs during your trip. Talking openly and positively about drugs doesn't necessarily mean someone is actively addicted. Fixating on the hard drugs might end up pushing your friend away. Listening without judgment & offering support if asked is the best thing to do.

Personally I would react poorly to someone pushing me to go to a 12-step meeting, it would make me resentful, especially if told to go to NA when I was actively drinking to excess. When I was addicted to coke and meth, I secretly wished for someone to reach out, to help me stop, but I didn't ask. I often kept things to myself because people were all too eager to blame my problems on drug use while being unwilling to talk about the underlying causes (trauma, burnout, psych medications) that led to my addiction in the first place. What I needed back then was help getting my life in order. I needed to leave the environment I was in, I needed a different job. I was using drugs because my life sucked, stopping the drugs wasn't enough to fix that.

Thank you so much. Yeah I don't think he is using every day, but I know he's in a lot of pain. He was using opiates recently before, then went through withdrawal recently and at least hasn't touched them since to my knowledge.
Thank you so much for your input here, I really appreciate you opening up about this, it's really helpful. My friend was also heavily addicted to cocaine and then harder stuff in the past before I met him, so the fact he's using coke again and some harder stuff scares me a lot. His drinking wasn't like super super bad that day which is good, but I don't know like his attitude about his drug use hit me hard. I don't know how to describe it I just got a really really bad feeling about it, it made me nauseous. I get this is also my stuff but like, the feeling was bad. I try to be there as much as possible and to be as non-judgemental as possible but being confronted in a way I hadn't been before hit me harder than I expected. He said it will be easier when he's more busy and it will help him focus on other stuff so I hope that will be true.

 

[GentleJerk]

It is sad. That is such an apt description. Dealing with a close family member going through it rn. It sucks big time, feels. You have all my support.

 

[tiredplant777]

It is sad. That is such an apt description. Dealing with a close family member going through it rn. It sucks big time, feels. You have all my support.

Oh I am so sorry you are dealing with this with a close family member. I'm so sorry. I hope things can get better for both of the people we know.