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KuriGohan&Kamehameha

KuriGohan&Kamehameha

想死不能 - 想活不能
Nov 23, 2020
1,613
David Berman was an indie rock musician who made music for a band called the Silver Jews as well as his solo act Purple Mountains where he released one eponymous album before dying by suicide a month later.

I found the purple mountains album a few months before I joined the forum, and it has stuck with me since and gotten me through many hard times. The entire album feels like the artist's suicide note, a final goodbye to all of his fans and a eulogy of the culminating factors that lead to his decision.
I read a lot about David Berman's life and it's pretty relatable. He struggled with being suicidal since he was a teenager, and described himself as having treatment resistant depression since a very young age. By the time he was 15, he was already dabbling in hard drugs and began to use music and poetry as an outlet for his frustration.

Throughout his life, he attempted suicide many times and would frequently get involved with drugs, eventually detoxing but continuing to make music which explored the darker themes of his inspiration. Over time he became reclusive and stopped making music with the Silver Jews. Eventually, his marriage ended in divorce and he stated publically that he believed being depressed made him "unfit to be a husband."

"There were probably 100 nights over the last 10 years where I was sure I wouldn't make it to the morning," Berman said, a couple of months before he hung himself. I think this struggle is heavily reflected in the Purple Mountains album.

Many of the songs are very relatable for me personally, dealing with grief, preparing others for the grief of his impending suicide, discussing all the setbacks that were never setups for a better life, loss of relationships, and so many others. Even the cover art is very reminiscent of snapshots or fragments of memories of days gone by, little pieces of life that are only a distant memory when you're reaching the end.

I really like this song in particular nowadays. It's made it easier to cope with the only family member that loves me approaching the end of her life.

"When she was gone, I was overcome
The simple fact left me stunned
I wasn't done being my mother's son
Only now am I seeing that, being done"



What's your favourite purple mountains song?
 
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