F
forlornhope
Member
- Oct 30, 2025
- 5
Since a lot of my depression comes from being laid off and staring down financial ruin, I thought I'd make some dark unemployment jokes:
1. My boss offered to write me a letter of recognition but I politely declined. They normally just have family give the eulogy I said.
2. I can't afford to live anymore so you'll need to settle for a pizza party at my wake.
3. Pro tip - when your unemployment runs out, you can still get free govt benefits like an autopsy.
4. My wife said she's leaving me cause I don't have a job. To show her I have no ill feelings, I'm going to help her improve her dating profile. That widow box is way sexier than divorced.
Feel free to share any more that you've heard.
1. My boss offered to write me a letter of recognition but I politely declined. They normally just have family give the eulogy I said.
2. I can't afford to live anymore so you'll need to settle for a pizza party at my wake.
3. Pro tip - when your unemployment runs out, you can still get free govt benefits like an autopsy.
4. My wife said she's leaving me cause I don't have a job. To show her I have no ill feelings, I'm going to help her improve her dating profile. That widow box is way sexier than divorced.
Feel free to share any more that you've heard.