Venting cw self harm there must be others who understand this

[underthedatetree]

the feeling, that isn't even dopamine/seratonin or any other joy chemical, just the feeling when the only way you can bear to look at your body is after it has been thoroughly brutalized. I can look for longer than 3 seconds at my entire right half, leg AND belly!! because its completely bruised and it just feels okay for it to be that way. it just feels right. what is wrong with me?

 

[borderlinee]

Feel the same way, can't stop cutting myself.

 

[passivethought121]

For me it's because it's less recognizable, thus more tolerable. Seeing a lot of cuts on a limb makes it look less like my default form, my form I exist in. Not necessarily "me", but my physical chamber ya know.

 

[LetMeBeSad]

the feeling, that isn't even dopamine/seratonin or any other joy chemical, just the feeling when the only way you can bear to look at your body is after it has been thoroughly brutalized. I can look for longer than 3 seconds at my entire right half, leg AND belly!! because its completely bruised and it just feels okay for it to be that way. it just feels right. what is wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you. Many of us feel this way. I like caning my thighs until they look like rorschach drawings. It just feels right.