cutting

[BorderlineSuixide]

i've been cutting since i was 12 and i'm now 18... my body is covered in scars, including from cigarette burns. nothing is helping anymore. i just like the damage it does. what can i use as a destructive coping mechanism that will help me feel something finally?

 

[Soulless_Angel]

cutting is a bitch, there are so many threads on here in regards to self harm and cutting, your photo is heartbreaking but I understand, I do not have as many scars on my lower arms, and many are faded over the years, but more recent ones were I took back up cutting are showing.
I tend now to harm my thighs, it doesn't bruise any more, but it helps, I am not promoting self harm by the way, I am giving you my experience and what I go through.
Destructive behaviour at the end of the day is a bad place to be in, resorting to this as we feel nothing else can help. I know many would say find a hobby, find a distraction, but sometimes you need to feel something physical to enable to release what we are feeling inside. its a hard place to be in for sure

 

[porfin1234]

Hi.. I am sorry to hear you've struggled with self mutalitation.
I wonder if doing some kind of physical activity like running would help. I've been told holding ice can help for the sensation. As far as needing to destroy something I am honestly not sure. Ironic to see this post today as I cut for the first time in 2 years in a horrible fit of rage that lasted 4 hours.

 

[BorderlineSuixide]

cutting is a bitch, there are so many threads on here in regards to self harm and cutting, your photo is heartbreaking but I understand, I do not have as many scars on my lower arms, and many are faded over the years, but more recent ones were I took back up cutting are showing.
I tend now to harm my thighs, it doesn't bruise any more, but it helps, I am not promoting self harm by the way, I am giving you my experience and what I go through.
Destructive behaviour at the end of the day is a bad place to be in, resorting to this as we feel nothing else can help. I know many would say find a hobby, find a distraction, but sometimes you need to feel something physical to enable to release what we are feeling inside. its a hard place to be in for sure

i agree with this wholeheartedly... i know none one is promote self harm or any kind of self abuse/suicide, you don't need to explain that. but we are all at a mutual agreement that we make our own choices and we are will be there for each other when we make those choices and if we don't make them.
thank you for replying. i just joined this site yesterday and i am pleasantly surprised that people actually reply to my posts... it helps. maybe i'm not so alone.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

i agree with this wholeheartedly... i know none one is promote self harm or any kind of self abuse/suicide, you don't need to explain that. but we are all at a mutual agreement that we make our own choices and we are will be there for each other when we make those choices and if we don't make them.
thank you for replying. i just joined this site yesterday and i am pleasantly surprised that people actually reply to my posts... it helps. maybe i'm not so alone.

When on this forum no one is alone, no matter time or day, it hits world wide, there will always be someone to talk to, I am not great at communication but my inbox is open
I state about promote due to recent media eyes on us, everyone is so careful of what is said to ensure we are not see as anything other then pro choice, and we don't want to risk being accused of something we are not. Can I ask is that you in your profile photo?

 

[BorderlineSuixide]

When on this forum no one is alone, no matter time or day, it hits world wide, there will always be someone to talk to, I am not great at communication but my inbox is open
I state about promote due to recent media eyes on us, everyone is so careful of what is said to ensure we are not see as anything other then pro choice, and we don't want to risk being accused of something we are not. Can I ask is that you in your profile photo?

yeah that's me in my profile photo. and thank you for explaining that, i'm new so it helps xx

 

[Thereisnothing]

I used to cut, but upset my beloved mother too much so I try and not do it in her memory............I am at very bad place right now and wish to cut to let tension and pain out, but remember her words to me and that stops me.
I find clenching my fists as tight as possibly can helps and its extra painful for me to do this due to arthritis, but does help a little. People suggest putting rubber band round wrist and flick those, ice on skin............
I try and tell myself i suffer enough without more. Its hard though once start and I truly understand the dynamics involved.
Also i find cuddling and squeezing a cushion or plush cuddly toy helpful as at gets stress out but also gives you some love back, which we need
Dont be surprised at people responding to posts, its very unsual for a post not to get responses............you definitely aren't alone here and some very kind and wise souls abound this place.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

yeah that's me in my profile photo. and thank you for explaining that, i'm new so it helps xx

Just a heads up, not many share their own profile photo just to be on the safe side as you never know who is viewing here, your a beautiful young women btw!! I am sorry you are in such a dark place

 

[BorderlineSuixide]

Just a heads up, not many share their own profile photo just to be on the safe side as you never know who is viewing here, your a beautiful young women btw!! I am sorry you are in such a dark place

thank you

 

[Ferret]

Since a young age I've always hurt myself as a response to my own anger. In the white heat of a loss of temper I've learned to hurt myself to a) immediately calm down and b) make sure the anger remains introspective and doesn't get thrown at anyone else.

I very quickly progressed to cutting, using anything with a sharp edge that came to hand at the time of anger, I also pinch or punch, or anythung really that will hurt.

Not the most ideal coping mechanism, but I've managed to rationalise this irrational behaviour due to a) and b) above.

Currently hoping therapy will help me to unlearn this behaviour.

 

[BPD Barbie]

If you find something, let me know. Been self harming for around 15 years. Burning, cutting, slapping my face, just can't find an alternative. My legs are just a mass of purple scars and open wounds, even now when I'm in recovery I just can't stop it and I don't know why. I don't feel anything from it, it's like an addiction.

 

[Cave Johnson]

I know the feeling. I've been cutting for somewhere around 12-13 years. Tons of scars all over both shoulders that I don't even bother hiding anymore and I mostly cut my waist/sides now for easier concealment. I can't really explain why I like the pain from it, but I do.

 

[BPD Barbie]

I know the feeling. I've been cutting for somewhere around 12-13 years. Tons of scars all over both shoulders that I don't even bother hiding anymore and I mostly cut my waist/sides now for easier concealment. I can't really explain why I like the pain from it, but I do.

My psych asked me 'what about the pain?'. I either don't feel it or I get off on it.

 

[Cave Johnson]

My psych asked me 'what about the pain?'. I either don't feel it or I get off on it.

I definitely feel the pain. For me there's about a second of "Holy shit that hurt" then I get this rush of endorphins that lasts for all of 5 seconds and stops. I usually do it at least 5-6 times and stop. Later when I feel like I 'need' pain I just dig my nails into cuts or hit them. I could go into a long expository explanation as to why I believe I do it, but I don't want to hijack the thread and make it about me.

 

[BorderlineSuixide]

I know the feeling. I've been cutting for somewhere around 12-13 years. Tons of scars all over both shoulders that I don't even bother hiding anymore and I mostly cut my waist/sides now for easier concealment. I can't really explain why I like the pain from it, but I do.

I can't even begin to explain why i like it so much. It's an addiction. I am okay when i cut. But it doesn't seem to hurt enough to take an effect anymore.

 

[Cave Johnson]

I can't even begin to explain why i like it so much. It's an addiction. I am okay when i cut. But it doesn't seem to hurt enough to take an effect anymore.

It's partly because of the way biology works. There's an endorphin rush that happens in response to pain in order to give the injured creature(e.g, you) a heightened sense of awareness of your surroundings so you can check for threats. Since you know the threat is you, the brain registers this information and it ends relatively quickly. Iirc the reason it eventually sops working so well is twofold, first your body gets used to the endorphin rush and it's no longer unexpected damage, and two, your brain has already stored the information that you are the cause of your [physical] damage, and as a result it stops caring.

 

[metapod]

i'm new here, but i would say cutting does a lot for me as a release, but once the pain stopped helping, i moved to more painful places to cut, like hips and stomach.