Venting Cutting

[Lara Francis]

I just cut after about 3 mths of stopping.
I had forgotten how painful it is but it brought some relief as the warm blood ran down my arm.
Now my arm is numb
The first ever cut was a mistake because its power over you never leaves.
I am such a disappointment to myself this week,not only did a fall of the wagon with regardS to my diet by eating take aways all week,now the self harm has restarted.is there anyone that has been able to stop self harming for good?

 

[ReverendGreen]

I managed to stop cutting but replaced it with blunt force. And even then I'll still cut my thighs once every few months or so.
I don't think the desire to self-harm can ever leave... it's the most effective coping mechanism there is. Unlike drugs or alcohol it's free and you always have access to it.

 

[Phoenix1990]

Hi Lara,

I hope you are doing much better today.
Does your self injury need medical attention?
I know how it feels when a relapse in self harming happens.
I currently have 68 stitches in my forearms and should have had stitches in my breasts last week, which I didn't get as I was to ashamed. I hate the fact that I have self harmed, but right now it is the only think stopping me from killing myself.
If you ever want to talk I'm here.

 

[k3v3r]

I'm so sorry you relapsed <3
I've started self harming again too, and it's deeper than ever. Do you have any people you can go to when the urge comes.
Also what helped me is mixing water woth red colour, freezing it and holding it in my hand. It hurts, and the red colour is like blood when it melts

 

[Lara Francis]

Hi Lara,

I hope you are doing much better today.
Does your self injury need medical attention?
I know how it feels when a relapse in self harming happens.
I currently have 68 stitches in my forearms and should have had stitches in my breasts last week, which I didn't get as I was to ashamed. I hate the fact that I have self harmed, but right now it is the only think stopping me from killing myself.
If you ever want to talk I'm here.

Hi
Thanku for your kind words.
I applied pressure and bandaged my arm for the night so it should just heal.
Self harm is such a frowned upon thing still and medical people dont get it
I often felt i was wasting their time when i did go to hospital.
I am sorry that u r in the same position and have so many stitches.i hope your wounds heal soon.please dont let the shame you feel prevent u from getting stitches if u need them.
It may be a unhealthy coping mechanism but can be our last resort and the only thing that prevents us from ctb instead.
Hugs to you.xx

I'm so sorry you relapsed <3
I've started self harming again too, and it's deeper than ever. Do you have any people you can go to when the urge comes.
Also what helped me is mixing water woth red colour, freezing it and holding it in my hand. It hurts, and the red colour is like blood when it melts

Thanku
I often relate the concept of cutting to wanting that piece of chocolate cake when u r on a diet.
The more u deprive yourself of that 1 slice of cake,the more u want it until u cave in and eat the whole cake !
When i stop myself from cutting,the urge to do it does not go but increases to the point i proberly cut deeper and more seriously.
I do love the idea of the water and red colouring as i need to draw blood to benefit.
I am sorry to hear you have restarted again - its really a hard addition to recover from especially when we r in such a dark place.
I wish u well,hugs

 

[kkatt]

I quit cutting years ago. But somehow this week had a complete relapse and ended up slashing my wrists.
Bloody idiot!!

 

[Ruffian]

I do not have experience with cutting, but it makes me so mad to hear how the medical professionals treat you. It's how they looked at me when I was taken to ER for attempting to ctb, they look at you as a crazy person rather than with empathy.

 

[Soulless_Angel]

I cut, but last night unable to access a blade I ended up punching the shit out of my leg, the bruise this morning is massive, didn't give me the same feeling as cutting though :(

 

[21Neberg]

Hi Lara, please don't blame yourself. You're a strong woman, but when things get really though I know how impossible it is to resist self harming. Instead of being ashamed of relapsing once, be proud of the 3 months without self harm.

I have faith in you Lara, I really do. Wishing you strength and courage during these tough times.