DedCircut303
Member
- Sep 4, 2024
- 11
In my last update, I said that I was feeling better. Now, not so much. As much as I want to just blame it on "winter blues", I know it's just me.
Update from today, December 12, 2024: I did a job interview a few weeks ago, and after a bit of back and forth, they actually want to go forward with me. So I have my first day ( I think) this coming Monday. Yay! I also got a cat at the beginning of November. She's almost 6 years old (in about 3 days) and she's super sweet. Thoughts wise, I keep thinking about carious ways to kill myself such as hanging, carbon monoxide, and now even jumping. Is 6 floors up on a parking garage high enough? I've been thinking about my birthday which is next month. I don't know. I'm just so fucking sick of depression and feeling like this. My only thing is that I'll have to get rid of a lot of my shit before them, and I have a lot of stuff, but I don't want my family to be stuck dealing with all of that. My cat would be fine, the adoption place said they would take her back if something ever came up. Fuck I don't want to do that. I fucking hate myself for being like this. I have nothing to be depressed about so why am I so fucked. Can't this just be over.
Update from today, December 12, 2024: I did a job interview a few weeks ago, and after a bit of back and forth, they actually want to go forward with me. So I have my first day ( I think) this coming Monday. Yay! I also got a cat at the beginning of November. She's almost 6 years old (in about 3 days) and she's super sweet. Thoughts wise, I keep thinking about carious ways to kill myself such as hanging, carbon monoxide, and now even jumping. Is 6 floors up on a parking garage high enough? I've been thinking about my birthday which is next month. I don't know. I'm just so fucking sick of depression and feeling like this. My only thing is that I'll have to get rid of a lot of my shit before them, and I have a lot of stuff, but I don't want my family to be stuck dealing with all of that. My cat would be fine, the adoption place said they would take her back if something ever came up. Fuck I don't want to do that. I fucking hate myself for being like this. I have nothing to be depressed about so why am I so fucked. Can't this just be over.
