I'm sorry such things happened to you, landing you in this dire situation. It is terrible that some parents possess such levels of cruelty, burdening their children to thousands of dollars in debt without a second thought, whatever she did is just disheartening.
As for advice, there isn't much to know other than tips on how to overcome SI. You can consume enough alcohol combined with sedatives to make the process of bringing yourself to jump easier and therefore facilitate seeking peace. Unfortunately though, in several cases, including those of my own, it was still incredibly hard to jump and I ended up quitting even after getting drunk.
Despite all of this, I hope you manage to achieve peace in one way or another, once the time comes. I wish you the best.