CTB Updates

[galaticgrizzly]

Hey guys,
By now, most of you know about my...unconventional... method for ctb.
I understand that it may not work, and that it may end up severely disfiguring me. I know you guys are only pointing this out because you don't want me to go through with it.
However, today, at about 9:30 pm (whenever I get a shower after I get home,) I am planning to go forward with my injection.
I am going to get water from the toilet, and mix it with dirt and cat poop (gross, I know) to further introduce bacteria.
I upped my injection amount to up 100 ml.
If this succeeds, it will take a while. So, this thread is to keep you guys updated, if the infection is spreading, etc.
I would appreciate it if you didn't comment things like "gross" or "ridiculous."
I know it is, and I've heard it all before. I am ready and completely sure I want to die, but I am also scared and could use some support.
If you couldn't give a shit, let me know and I'll delete this thread.
Thanks.

 

[Ghost2211]

So please don't think me a creepy person this is simply a scientific perspective. Would you be at all willing to post pictures of the progress of the infection? If you do so I will be able to tell you how far along infection is and how the risk factors are as far as it's development. It would also be documentation of others in the future choose to take this course.

I respect your bravery and tenacity. I wish you a safe and hopefully minimally painful journey.

 

[GinaIsReady]

I don't think I've heard of this method. Where did you learn about it?

 

[galaticgrizzly]

So please don't think me a creepy person this is simply a scientific perspective. Would you be at all willing to post pictures of the progress of the infection? If you do so I will be able to tell you how far along infection is and how the risk factors are as far as it's development. It would also be documentation of others in the future choose to take this course.

I respect your bravery and tenacity. I wish you were safe and hopefully minimally painful journey.

No, I don't think it's creepy. But I'm actually doing it on my chest so I'm not showing y'all pictures of my tits.

I don't think I've heard of this method. Where did you learn about it?

I kind of just came up with it.

 

[Ghost2211]

No, I don't think it's creepy. But I'm actually doing it on my chest so I'm not showing y'all pictures of my tits.

Fair enough.

 

[MysticPerception]

Your tenacity and insistence on this method is respectable to say the least. Good luck, you're gonna need it. I'm gonna be crossing my fingers that you pass before they save you because that's sadly the best outcome I'm seeing here even though it's going to be painful.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

Your tenacity and insistence on this method is respectable to say the least. Good luck, you're gonna need it. I'm gonna be crossing my fingers that you pass before they save you because that's sadly the best outcome I'm seeing here even though it's going to be painful.

That's the hope.

 

[HorribleFeelings1]

Hey guys,
By now, most of you know about my...unconventional... method for ctb.
I understand that it may not work, and that it may end up severely disfiguring me. I know you guys are only pointing this out because you don't want me to go through with it.
However, today, at about 9:30 pm (whenever I get a shower after I get home,) I am planning to go forward with my injection.
I am going to get water from the toilet, and mix it with dirt and cat poop (gross, I know) to further introduce bacteria.
I upped my injection amount to up 100 ml.
If this succeeds, it will take a while. So, this thread is to keep you guys updated, if the infection is spreading, etc.
I would appreciate it if you didn't comment things like "gross" or "ridiculous."
I know it is, and I've heard it all before. I am ready and completely sure I want to die, but I am also scared and could use some support.
If you couldn't give a shit, let me know and I'll delete this thread.
Thanks.

Oh you're a girl? I never knew. Hey galactic PM real quick

 

[galaticgrizzly]

Alright!
I did my injection.
I just realized that water stings when you inject, so the pain was so bad I did maybe 6ml but it was full of bacteria from dirt and cat shit, so hopefully it'll cause an infection. It really hurt.
Is that enough to cause cellulitis?
Not doing that again, too fucking painful.
Next time, if it doesn't work, I'll just use the cleaner

So please don't think me a creepy person this is simply a scientific perspective. Would you be at all willing to post pictures of the progress of the infection? If you do so I will be able to tell you how far along infection is and how the risk factors are as far as it's development. It would also be documentation of others in the future choose to take this course.

I respect your bravery and tenacity. I wish you a safe and hopefully minimally painful journey.

I did the injection. You can read about it in my update post

 

[departing]

Regardless of the method, I hope you find the peace that you're seeking.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

Regardless of the method, I hope you find the peace that you're seeking.

Thank you

 

[Time]

I hope that you get what you want & find peace, galacticgrizzly.

 

[HopeDiesLast]

Alright!
I did my injection.
I just realized that water stings when you inject, so the pain was so bad I did maybe 6ml but it was full of bacteria from dirt and cat shit, so hopefully it'll cause an infection. It really hurt.
Is that enough to cause cellulitis?
Not doing that again, too fucking painful.
Next time, if it doesn't work, I'll just use the cleaner

I did the injection. You can read about it in my update post

How do you think the discomfort from the injection will compare to the pain from a full-blown infection and necrosis?

 

[Flippy]

I know you won't listen to my protests, I'm sad that you would choose this method and I really hope that it won't cause you much discomfort. :-0

 

[pastamakesufasta]

interesting metbod, but for me partial suspension sounds better. good luck

 

[galaticgrizzly]

How do you think the discomfort from the injection will compare to the pain from a full-blown infection and necrosis?

I'm not sure it's only been a couple hours though

I hope that you get what you want & find peace, galacticgrizzly.

thank you

interesting metbod, but for me partial suspension sounds better. good luck

tried partial suspension

 

[Fly🦋]

I hope you find peace. Tell Stan and PilotMetal00 August said hi if you reach the other side.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

Respects for coming up with a different method and trying it. Please keep us posted. Hope you find the peace you are looking for.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

Update, the skin is not at all red and there is mild pain. I don't think it will work. We will see what happens tomorrow.

 

[hatelife]

yeah u will only cause infection in the body that the body will try hard to heal that on that area and forget about the rest, I did this but it was more filler types injection on myself and not to waste needles , well one of the needles feel in my bathroom floor and I picked it up and wiped it of with my fingers not thinking and injected the filler, nothing happened, well infection did happen, as my doctor told me I have high fever and thats a sign of an infection in the body somewhere and asked me about it :) haha, but not nice as it triggered my ocd back sadly at least thats what I think was the cause....maybe the pmma too

 

[Quarky00]

This is not ctb nor self-harm -- but reckless serious self-abuse. It is your prerogative. You are putting your leg on the train track just to amputate it (emotional metaphor).

You are doing it to cause yourself pain and misery ("I don't deserve a peaceful painfree way"). I feel this is not in the spirit of Sanctioned Suicide's informed thoughtful peaceful ctb (not a rule though); this may bring long suffering and additional despair and self-loathing (which you want). I accept self harm, as some need to feel pain, but this one does not appears to be effective or beneficial. I strongly disapprove of this, and I cannot appreciate the insistence, and I don't feel dire hatred and abuse towards oneself would yield respect from me.

I think it's important to note that in this thread, and not to encourage it.

~

Well I was wondering , injecting 100ml is hard .. so your plan had already changed.

That said, I hope whatever you do and wherever you go -- it'd be a calmer and a more accepting space for you

Please feel free to let us know how you are feeling, and I hope that members will be in a listening mode. Let us know when you need advice, or just to hear you out, or just to update on your condition.

 

[galaticgrizzly]

update there is a little redness and still pain

 

[MrOptions]

Many other and less painful methods then the one you chose, too CTB.

 

[k75]

I'm sorry you felt the need to go through with this. Unfortunately, it seems to be proving everyone's initial objections correct.

Please be kinder to yourself going forward.

 

[Thereisnothing]

This is not ctb nor self-harm -- but reckless serious self-abuse. It is your prerogative. You are putting your leg on the train track just to amputate it (emotional metaphor).

You are doing it to cause yourself pain and misery ("I don't deserve a peaceful painfree way"). I feel this is not in the spirit of Sanctioned Suicide's informed thoughtful peaceful ctb (not a rule though); this may bring long suffering and additional despair and self-loathing (which you want). I accept self harm, as some need to feel pain, but this one does not appears to be effective or beneficial. I strongly disapprove of this, and I cannot appreciate the insistence, and I don't feel dire hatred and abuse towards oneself would yield respect from me.

I think it's important to note that in this thread, and not to encourage it.

~

Well I was wondering , injecting 100ml is hard .. so your plan had already changed.

That said, I hope whatever you do and wherever you go -- it'd be a calmer and a more accepting space for you

Please feel free to let us know how you are feeling, and I hope that members will be in a listening mode. Let us know when you need advice, or just to hear you out, or just to update on your condition.

Very wise words and I mirror all you have said about this and thank you for posting how you feel, as its almost word for word that I would've said too

 

[Ghost2211]

Did you inject into the breast tissue or in between the breasts where exactly did you do the injection?

 

[deadmalk]

You're not alone. I pray you find your peace

 

[Zoltiel]

Absolutely brutal way to go OP. Good luck!

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

An observation: Others are triggered by our wanting ctb, and we want acceptance and the right to choose. Then we see a method that triggers us, and we are no longer so freely giving of acceptance, inclusion, and the right to choose.

Just sayin'.

 

[Innereye]

Hey guys,
By now, most of you know about my...unconventional... method for ctb.
I understand that it may not work, and that it may end up severely disfiguring me. I know you guys are only pointing this out because you don't want me to go through with it.
However, today, at about 9:30 pm (whenever I get a shower after I get home,) I am planning to go forward with my injection.
I am going to get water from the toilet, and mix it with dirt and cat poop (gross, I know) to further introduce bacteria.
I upped my injection amount to up 100 ml.
If this succeeds, it will take a while. So, this thread is to keep you guys updated, if the infection is spreading, etc.
I would appreciate it if you didn't comment things like "gross" or "ridiculous."
I know it is, and I've heard it all before. I am ready and completely sure I want to die, but I am also scared and could use some support.
If you couldn't give a shit, let me know and I'll delete this thread.
Thanks.

This is a horrible and painful way to go, you won't die quickly it would be slow and painful. Unless you like suffering there are plenty of better ways to exit.