CTB tonight

[Someday_Somehow32]

I've been planning for a while now and I've finally reached my end point. I'll be doing partial hanging. If my rope doesn't work, I also have a tie prepared. I'm going to be hanging myself off my bedpost. I sleep on a loft bed, so it's off my ladder.

I've made two notes. One to a family member informing her to inform people online that I was friends with that I have died. She's unaware that I am CTB, so if she says any of the typical pro-life statements, that's why. The other was to come on here and delete my account. (Sorry again if you're reading this).

The other note was written to people online (I was a small time online artist). It's only being posted on my YouTube.



I've been trying for the last while and I'm convinced I've finally hit a good patch where I can officially ctb.



I took a shower, messed around with a new razor just to see how much blood I could get out, ate a good meal (something I haven't been doing a lot lately), cuddled one last time with my pets and put up Christmas decorations. It's kind of sad to go, but I couldn't be more relieved. I can't imagine still living with my fibromyalgia or my maladaptive daydreaming anymore. I've taken prepared steps in case I live.

My note to my cousin is being sent early Tuesday morning. If I'm still alive tomorrow, I can unsend it. My other note is going out late on Monday. It can also be stopped.



So yeah, I guess this is goodbye. If I do fail, I will be sure to inform all of you.

Goodnight.

 

[Rounded Agony]

I always took note of your shaky kitten pfp when I saw you'd interacted with my content...I'm sad to see you go. I don't want to be "that guy" and do admit I know nothing of your history (was never able to view your profile or other content), but I had a partner once who had fibromyalgia for a decade before we met and a few years after our few years being together, it spontaneously went into complete remission and never returned. Not saying this will happen for you, but just to share an anecdote of the possibility of improvement.

Only you know what you need though. I'm sorry life has brought you here. I only hope things are better for you from now on, no matter what

 

[jodes2]

I'm so sorry you're leaving us already we'll miss you

 

[wait.what]

I'm so sorry it's come to this for you. I hope you find freedom from pain, either still with us, or gone.

 

[lessonlearned]

i hope you find peace and i wish u the best

 

[freedomcalls]

I'm sorry for everything that has brought you to this point, I wish you peace

 

[EverythingStays]

I'm so sorry to hear this, I hope your notes are able to help the people in your life.

 

[FuneralCry]

Farewell, I hope that you find the freedom from your suffering that you wish for.

 

[Per Ardua Ad Astra]

Per ardua ad astra

 

[Shivali]

 

[Sad_Sack]

I'm very sorry for your suffering. Chronic illness is slow death by torture. I hope you can find relief.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

I ended up not succeeding but I think I know what went wrong. I will be trying again tonight.

Thank you once again

 

[Rounded Agony]

I ended up not succeeding but I think I know what went wrong. I will be trying again tonight.

Thank you once again

Wow, you must really be sure to be composed enough to try again so soon... let us know if things change

 

[O_oreo.]

A big hug, I understand you and I hope you can find the peace you are looking for, you are brave, I haven't found this moment for me yet but whether you do or not, I wish everything gets better.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

Heading upstairs right now to do it. I hope you all find peace in this world

 

[Finding Sirius]

Whatever you choose, I hope you find peace.

 

[StolenLife]

I hope your journey will be peaceful.

 

[freedomcalls]

Taking a moment now to pause… I wonder if you've had "success" this time.
It felt like you were of a clear and determined mind; so I can only wish you the peace that you were seeking

 

[GasMonkey]

See you on the Other Side.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

Failed once again. The flu has been crazy where I live and I've been sick a lot lately. Just so happened that having bad mucus and a runny nose can make hanging pretty difficult. Not sure where I'm going now or what I'm doing but I'll figure out something