ctb tomorrow maybe?

[kindawannacrylol]

i dont have a ctb date and ive never wanted to have one, it would make me way too anxious leading up to the date and i wouldn't be able to go through with it. ive always wanted it to be more of a random/impulse based thing because once i have the energy and the determination SI isnt much of a problem. I'm assuming once i die i won't remember this life and thus wouldn't be able to have any regrets. But I'm pretty sure I want to ctb tomorrow. Im going to take an extremely high dosage of codeine with some alcohol and although it's not the best method i think it will work and a few hours of pain to get rid of a lifetime of suffering is worth it in my opinion. I have a note that i wrote at the beginning of january last year kept in one of my journals. I'm going to leave it there and hope that someone finds it when theyre going through my things after I pass. I'm definitely going through an episode of depersonalization and thats what i think is pushing this, i feel detached from myself and my family and my friends and so i believe it will be easier to ctb. I feel like I'm at the point where I don't see any reason to exist for another day. Perhaps when I wake up tomorrow I'll feel different and if i do i'll come on here and say. This isn't a goodbye message tbough

 

[WornOutLife]

It's okay if it's not a goodbye message.
You're the one who decides when your "final day" is.

As for me, I thought my ctb date would by Jan, 21st but things have changed and I'll have to live longer.

Anyway, wish you the best and hope you can find peace!

 

[Pookie]

I hope once you sleep on it you'll feel better tomorrow and won't follow through with it. Hang in there if you can. Maybe there are better days ahead for you. Hugs.

 

[kindawannacrylol]

It's okay if it's not a goodbye message.
You're the one who decides when your "final day" is.

As for me, I thought my ctb date would by Jan, 21st but things have changed and I'll have to live longer.

Anyway, wish you the best and hope you can find peace!

turns out today wasn't the day afterall :/ i hope you also eventually find the peace youre looking for! <3

 

[bones]

i dont have a ctb date and ive never wanted to have one, it would make me way too anxious leading up to the date and i wouldn't be able to go through with it. ive always wanted it to be more of a random/impulse based thing because once i have the energy and the determination SI isnt much of a problem. I'm assuming once i die i won't remember this life and thus wouldn't be able to have any regrets. But I'm pretty sure I want to ctb tomorrow. Im going to take an extremely high dosage of codeine with some alcohol and although it's not the best method i think it will work and a few hours of pain to get rid of a lifetime of suffering is worth it in my opinion. I have a note that i wrote at the beginning of january last year kept in one of my journals. I'm going to leave it there and hope that someone finds it when theyre going through my things after I pass. I'm definitely going through an episode of depersonalization and thats what i think is pushing this, i feel detached from myself and my family and my friends and so i believe it will be easier to ctb. I feel like I'm at the point where I don't see any reason to exist for another day. Perhaps when I wake up tomorrow I'll feel different and if i do i'll come on here and say. This isn't a goodbye message tbough

What is Sn.