Method CTB through Monkshade Poisioning

[arsencio354]

I am planning to CTB in April. My lease ends on April 17 but I plan to CTB way before then to give my family ample time to gather my belongings. I have flunked out of college and have no achievements under my belt really. I am sick of working entry level dead end jobs and living check to check. I have been suffering from depression since I was 13. I am 22, supposed to be turning 23 later this year. I haven't had a real relationship and also struggle to maintain a positive relationship with my immediate and extended family members. I also no longer have any friends as my introverted personality along with my self isolation during the pandemic left it hard to reconnect with my former friends. I don't have a support system. I know my parents worrying about me not turning into a successful member of society and time and time again, I prove them right.

At first my method was going to be hanging, however, I have deemed that it may be too traumatic for my family to know I ended my life that way. I have 16yr old sister who I'm super close too who also experiences depression and I don't want to leave in a way that might send her over the edge to join me prematurely. I also though of using the SN method however, the symptoms of SN poisoning is somewhat similar to aconitine poisoning and I also don't have to worry about it failing or getting the other items necessary for the SN method. The thought of leaving this earth from a natural plant also seems more environment friendly lol. I have bought 20 chinese monk shade seeds off etsy for $8 (including free shipping ) and plan on smashing them and blending them into a milkshake or smoothie, along with taking an adequate amount of valerian root in order to sedate myself and some pain relievers. The main cause of death from aconitine poisoning seems to be heart arrythmia, which usually isn't painful. I also plan on drinking a bottle of wine as way to suppress my nervous system.

Before coming into terms with CTBing, I did a lot of research on the afterlife, reading books and watching many videos on past life regressions, mediumship, NDEs, and hypnosis and I honestly await on learning the secrets of the universe and exploring it. You see I grew up with a religious mom who was deeply embedded in Christianity so for everyone who is scared of the religious aspect of death, please I advise you to do your own research.

 

[Dolphin55]

From Wikipedia: "Progression of symptoms: the first symptoms of aconitine poisoning appear approximately 20 minutes to 2 hours after oral intake and include paresthesia, sweating and nausea. This leads to severe vomiting, colicky diarrhea, intense pain and then paralysis of the skeletal muscles."

Yikes. Obviously SN is not great either but at least 'intense pain' and 'paralysis' are not on the list. II know it can be really frustrating finding a good method, so I'm sorry to cast doubt. But it sounds like a nasty experience to go this way

 

[arsencio354]

From Wikipedia: "Progression of symptoms: the first symptoms of aconitine poisoning appear approximately 20 minutes to 2 hours after oral intake and include paresthesia, sweating and nausea. This leads to severe vomiting, colicky diarrhea, intense pain and then paralysis of the skeletal muscles."

Yikes. Obviously SN is not great either but at least 'intense pain' and 'paralysis' are not on the list. II know it can be really frustrating finding a good method, so I'm sorry to cast doubt. But it sounds like a nasty experience to go this way

I appreciate your concern but SN has all those symptoms except the paresthesia and paralysis. Even if I experienced the harsher symptoms, it wont be for long or I would be long asleep/unconscious due to the alcohol and valerian root (valerian root and alcohol have a very potent sedative effect when taken together according to studies.) I also forgot to mentioned I plan on fasting and clearing out my intestines previously as the thought of dying in diarrhea or losing control of my bowels after death doesn't seem to be that nice.

 

[downndone2]

From Wikipedia: "Progression of symptoms: the first symptoms of aconitine poisoning appear approximately 20 minutes to 2 hours after oral intake and include paresthesia, sweating and nausea. This leads to severe vomiting, colicky diarrhea, intense pain and then paralysis of the skeletal muscles."

Yikes. Obviously SN is not great either but at least 'intense pain' and 'paralysis' are not on the list. II know it can be really frustrating finding a good method, so I'm sorry to cast doubt. But it sounds like a nasty experience to go this way

Doesn't sound like a pleasant experience

 

[Dolphin55]

could you link/quote these studies? I'm concerned if you aren't deeply unconscious quickly you would feel some really unpleasant stuff. I did see some cases where people had ctb with aconitine so obviously it can be done, but i guess the pain puts most people off. Cardiac arrest or respiratory paralysis is what ultimately kills you apparently, and with respiratory paralysis I guess that would feel awful as you are suffocating but unable to breathe

 

[arsencio354]

could you link/quote these studies? I'm concerned if you aren't deeply unconscious quickly you would feel some really unpleasant stuff. I did see some cases where people had ctb with aconitine so obviously it can be done, but i guess the pain puts most people off. Cardiac arrest or respiratory paralysis is what ultimately kills you apparently, and with respiratory paralysis I guess that would feel awful as you are suffocating but unable to breathe

Valerian Information | Mount Sinai - New York

Learn about Valerian or find a doctor at Mount Sinai Health System.

www.mountsinai.org

references links at the bottom at the page.
also most ppl will never ctb cause of fear of pain but something that helps is knowing that the pain will be forgotten upon death. I don't see the suffocation part as scary because I was willing the hang myself.

 

[Teenytiny]

I tried with these seeds and they didn't even make me ill
I can only assume they had sent other seeds claiming to be them because there supposed to be some of the deadliest seeds in the world

 

[Dolphin55]

I would test out taking the valerian + alcohol to see what effect it has on you & if you really do fall unconscious. But yeah, if you're not worried about experiencing pain, sounds like it should work fine…just sucks to have to go through that. If I were you I would really consider looking for a more peaceful method, but i know that's not always possible. Hope it works out for you

 

[arsencio354]

I would test out taking the valerian + alcohol to see what effect it has on you & if you really do fall unconscious. But yeah, if you're not worried about experiencing pain, sounds like it should work fine…just sucks to have to go through that. If I were you I would really consider looking for a more peaceful method, but i know that's not always possible. Hope it works out for you

thx, def will test the valerian root and alcohol by themselves, here's another case study of the effects, the participants didn't mention pain but did experience the other effects u mentioned.

Poisoning by Aconitine

Europe PMC is an archive of life sciences journal literature.

europepmc.org

I tried with these seeds and they didn't even make me ill
I can only assume they had sent other seeds claiming to be them because there supposed to be some of the deadliest seeds in the world

Most of the time when it comes to eating the seeds of poisonous plants, you have to crush them or chew them. Eating and swallowing them intact in most cases will not work. Another good example would be rosary peas.

Survival after an Intentional Ingestion of Crushed Abrus Seeds

Abrus precatorius seeds contain one of the most potent toxins known to man. However, because of the seed’s outer hard coat the vast majority of ingestions cause only mild symptoms and typically results in complete recovery. If the seeds are crushed ...

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov

 

[Dolphin55]

they did not take a lethal dose though, they both recovered without intervention. If they had taken a lethal dose it's likely they'd have experienced the more acute symptoms that lead to death

 

[Havic228]

I Hope you see this, but please reconsider this, let us say you go along with CBTing what will you gain, nothing. You are in an extremely hard place from what I can see. But your not hopeless and I have hope even if you don't I do so what if you failed college, I couldn't give to shits of college as it's just a brain washed institution that tells people if you don't go to College you life will be shit, but that's only if you let it. I know it is a lie first hand some of the people I know are very successful people and they had little to no formal training and me I'm going to be turning 19 in a few months and me and a friend are starting a business together. I have struggled for years in an abusive home and have tried many things and 10 I tried to drown my self, and 14 I tried to hang my self, at 15 I tried to slice my throat and that same year I tried poisoning my self. But nothing worked. And then I realized am not doing this cause there's no way out and I'm doing this so I can be happy, I realized I was tricking my self and this wouldn't bring me happiness but on contrary after the poison failed my eyes finally opened, now I'm not a religious person and the poison I ingested which was drain cleaner and bleach( very painful ), something was or someone was keeping me alive, and I learned how o appreciate life and it's wonders from then on I learned how to accept my life and not let it define me like how you should let your situation define you, that's the beauty of life, things CAN CHANGE, but only if you want them to but it takes work I hope you read this and don't CTB it's never the solution only making your problem worse and permanent.

 

[Dolphin55]

It's true, you're still very young and things could change drastically for you in the future. Ctb is a big decision and a final one. There are other options, if there's even a small part of you that wants to keep trying, that still holds out hope, maybe it's worth listening to that awhile longer

 

[arsencio354]

I Hope you see this, but please reconsider this, let us say you go along with CBTing what will you gain, nothing. You are in an extremely hard place from what I can see. But your not hopeless and I have hope even if you don't I do so what if you failed college, I couldn't give to shits of college as it's just a brain washed institution that tells people if you don't go to College you life will be shit, but that's only if you let it. I know it is a lie first hand some of the people I know are very successful people and they had little to no formal training and me I'm going to be turning 19 in a few months and me and a friend are starting a business together. I have struggled for years in an abusive home and have tried many things and 10 I tried to drown my self, and 14 I tried to hang my self, at 15 I tried to slice my throat and that same year I tried poisoning my self. But nothing worked. And then I realized am not doing this cause there's no way out and I'm doing this so I can be happy, I realized I was tricking my self and this wouldn't bring me happiness but on contrary after the poison failed my eyes finally opened, now I'm not a religious person and the poison I ingested which was drain cleaner and bleach( very painful ), something was or someone was keeping me alive, and I learned how o appreciate life and it's wonders from then on I learned how to accept my life and not let it define me like how you should let your situation define you, that's the beauty of life, things CAN CHANGE, but only if you want them to but it takes work I hope you read this and don't CTB it's never the solution only making your problem worse and permanent.

Sorry you went through that. I'm so glad that you're able to have an improved outlook on life and I wish you and ur friend luck on your upcoming business. I honestly don't see life improving for me. I've had about a 4 yr consistently bad streak of life and I honestly can't take another. I am extremely unmotivated due to my experiences in life knowing firsthand that one day everything you worked hard for can be taken away in an instant. What's the point in getting up and continuing when you know life will through another set of problems your way again eventually. I honestly don't think I am built for life on earth and I never felt like I belonged on earth ever since I was a kid. I do want to experience life, just not life on earth. Hopefully when its my time to reincarnate, it will be on a less harsh planet.

 

[Havic228]

Trust me there is a light at the end of the road just takes patiences, but if you truly are adamant about this I can't stop you though there would be nothing more that would please me than to see you one day with a steady stable job and a smile on your face. All I want is for you to be happy.

 

[lionetta12]

I am planning to CTB in April. My lease ends on April 17 but I plan to CTB way before then to give my family ample time to gather my belongings. I have flunked out of college and have no achievements under my belt really. I am sick of working entry level dead end jobs and living check to check. I have been suffering from depression since I was 13. I am 22, supposed to be turning 23 later this year. I haven't had a real relationship and also struggle to maintain a positive relationship with my immediate and extended family members. I also no longer have any friends as my introverted personality along with my self isolation during the pandemic left it hard to reconnect with my former friends. I don't have a support system. I know my parents worrying about me not turning into a successful member of society and time and time again, I prove them right.

At first my method was going to be hanging, however, I have deemed that it may be too traumatic for my family to know I ended my life that way. I have 16yr old sister who I'm super close too who also experiences depression and I don't want to leave in a way that might send her over the edge to join me prematurely. I also though of using the SN method however, the symptoms of SN poisoning is somewhat similar to aconitine poisoning and I also don't have to worry about it failing or getting the other items necessary for the SN method. The thought of leaving this earth from a natural plant also seems more environment friendly lol. I have bought 20 chinese monk shade seeds off etsy for $8 (including free shipping ) and plan on smashing them and blending them into a milkshake or smoothie, along with taking an adequate amount of valerian root in order to sedate myself and some pain relievers. The main cause of death from aconitine poisoning seems to be heart arrythmia, which usually isn't painful. I also plan on drinking a bottle of wine as way to suppress my nervous system.

Before coming into terms with CTBing, I did a lot of research on the afterlife, reading books and watching many videos on past life regressions, mediumship, NDEs, and hypnosis and I honestly await on learning the secrets of the universe and exploring it. You see I grew up with a religious mom who was deeply embedded in Christianity so for everyone who is scared of the religious aspect of death, please I advise you to do your own research.

Is 20 seeds lethal? It sounds like a small amount when I think of how much you need for other poisionous seed methods.

 

[sunsetting]

If you've decided to ctb at least pick something less agonizing, the symptoms described above are horrible.

Don't worry about the religion aspect, it's more a priest/pastor/whatever religious leader feels more like a coach that uses god as a proxy in order to control your feelings, nothing good comes out of it

 

[FuneralCry]

I've never heard of that method before, but from what I read it does sound horrific but of course it's very much understandable just wishing to be gone from this world. I also certainly have never see myself as being meant for this life in any way, and I do get that it can be really tiring feeling trapped here and having to continue enduring this existence.

 

[arsencio354]

Update:

I managed to get everything needed to CTB. Also my CTB date has been moved to this upcoming monday.

Things I will be ingesting:

• 70 mg buspirone (anti anxiety, sedative??, dampen survival instincts )
• 1.2 mg of clonidine (sedative, slows heart rate)
• 20 mg lexapro ( to give me the motivation)
• 600mg ibruprofen (just incase of pain)
• 2 oz of aconitum carmichaeli leaves and roots ( made into a tea)
• 10 crushed aconitum seeds (just to insure I die)
• weed (indica, to help sedate me and to act as an antiemetic)
• 20% wine ( to help dampen survival instinct, increase effect of mentioned pills)

Not sure if i should make a new thread or just update thread on monday. Either way, I have everything set in motion.

 

[TapeMachine]

Buspirone does not give immediate relief for anxiety the same way that benzodiazepines do. Buspirone is a med that has to be taken consistently for a while so it builds up in your system. Please do not expect it to quickly relieve your anxiety or cause sedation.

Lexapro is another medication that does not ease symptoms immediately.

Are these meds you already take?

 

[Dolphin55]

I really don't know why you would do this method over SN if you're able to go to the trouble of sourcing all this different medications and resources. I think I commented on this method earlier that it's likely you'll experience a lot of pain and ultimately die by respitory paralysis or cardiac arrest, just searching wikipedia will bring this up. You linked an article where people took aconitine and didn't experience terrible symptoms, but that's because they did not take a lethal dose, and so did not get the later symptoms that progress towards death. It's not a nice way to go, unless perhaps you can manage to sedate yourself so heavily you're completely out of it, but from the stuff you've listed as taking I don't see that being the case.
Ultimately of course it's your choice but I really hope you will consider a more peaceful method, or else try to seek help, as it's never too late.

 

[arsencio354]

Buspirone does not give immediate relief for anxiety the same way that benzodiazepines do. Buspirone is a med that has to be taken consistently for a while so it builds up in your system. Please do not expect it to quickly relieve your anxiety or cause sedation.

Lexapro is another medication that does not ease symptoms immediately.

Are these meds you already take?

Thx for the information. I know about lexapro taking 2 weeks to fully feel desired effects but I got the buspirone from my roommate recently and have no history of taking it. Will taking a big one-time dose of it allow some relief from anxiety? If not, I guess I have the alcohol and weed to calm me down for sure.

I really don't know why you would do this method over SN if you're able to go to the trouble of sourcing all this different medications and resources. I think I commented on this method earlier that it's likely you'll experience a lot of pain and ultimately die by respitory paralysis or cardiac arrest, just searching wikipedia will bring this up. You linked an article where people took aconitine and didn't experience terrible symptoms, but that's because they did not take a lethal dose, and so did not get the later symptoms that progress towards death. It's not a nice way to go, unless perhaps you can manage to sedate yourself so heavily you're completely out of it, but from the stuff you've listed as taking I don't see that being the case.
Ultimately of course it's your choice but I really hope you will consider a more peaceful method, or else try to seek help, as it's never too late.

Thank you for your concern Dolphin <33. There's a bunch of other cases of people attempting suicide with aconitum or accidentally ingesting it after mistaking it for another plant and a lot of the cases don't mention the patient having pain. In a lot of cases, people usually lose consciousness and have to be resuscitated after intaking the flower by itself. The plant itself is known for being using for suicide in eastern countries just not common in western suicide cases. I can show you some of these other case studies if it eases your mind.

 

[heartbroken12]

Thx for the information. I know about lexapro taking 2 weeks to fully feel desired effects but I got the buspirone from my roommate recently and have no history of taking it. Will taking a big one-time dose of it allow some relief from anxiety? If not, I guess I have the alcohol and weed to calm me down for sure.

There's a chance you will get the side effects of lexapro without the desired effect, if it's not something you take regularly

 

[Dolphin55]

Thx for the information. I know about lexapro taking 2 weeks to fully feel desired effects but I got the buspirone from my roommate recently and have no history of taking it. Will taking a big one-time dose of it allow some relief from anxiety? If not, I guess I have the alcohol and weed to calm me down for sure.

Thank you for your concern Dolphin <33. There's a bunch of other cases of people attempting suicide with aconitum or accidentally ingesting it after mistaking it for another plant and a lot of the cases don't mention the patient having pain. In a lot of cases, people usually lose consciousness and have to be resuscitated after intaking the flower by itself. The plant itself is known for being using for suicide in eastern countries just not common in western suicide cases. I can show you some of these other case studies if it eases your mind.

I really hope you're right! Maybe you can update us on how it goes and the symptoms you experience. I guess you're pretty set on it at this point, so I wish you luck and hope it goes smoothly without any pain.

 

[arsencio354]

I really hope you're right! Maybe you can update us on how it goes and the symptoms you experience. I guess you're pretty set on it at this point, so I wish you luck and hope it goes smoothly without any pain.

Tysm, I will be trying my best to update and will be having someone come on my account to confirm my passing unless I can figure out how to make a delay posting.

 

[LittleJem]

This is also one of my two methods. Thank you for your information which is way beyond anything I have found. I like this method as guaranteed efficacy. I found it on a Netflix show. I don't think I could drink SN so this is better for me

 

[arsencio354]

This is also one of my two methods. Thank you for your information which is way beyond anything I have found. I like this method as guaranteed efficacy. I found it on a Netflix show. I don't think I could drink SN so this is better for me

No problem . Same with the SN, I almost acquired SN back in 2019 but didn't follow through with the order but when I felt like CTB again, SN just didn't seem appealing anymore after seeing threads about purity being a factor and acquiring additional medication to make sure it goes smoothly. Atleast I know when I take the wolfsbane tea, there is no survival. Also I love the thought of dying to a plant made by nature. May I ask what's your second method?

 

[TapeMachine]

@arsencio354 I'm not certain about the results of taking a large, one-time dose of buspirone. I feel like it might not deliver the relief you are seeking, but I could be wrong? I think it'd be a sound idea to do a little more research. :)

 

[teyabutter]

I am planning to CTB in April. My lease ends on April 17 but I plan to CTB way before then to give my family ample time to gather my belongings. I have flunked out of college and have no achievements under my belt really. I am sick of working entry level dead end jobs and living check to check. I have been suffering from depression since I was 13. I am 22, supposed to be turning 23 later this year. I haven't had a real relationship and also struggle to maintain a positive relationship with my immediate and extended family members. I also no longer have any friends as my introverted personality along with my self isolation during the pandemic left it hard to reconnect with my former friends. I don't have a support system. I know my parents worrying about me not turning into a successful member of society and time and time again, I prove them right.

At first my method was going to be hanging, however, I have deemed that it may be too traumatic for my family to know I ended my life that way. I have 16yr old sister who I'm super close too who also experiences depression and I don't want to leave in a way that might send her over the edge to join me prematurely. I also though of using the SN method however, the symptoms of SN poisoning is somewhat similar to aconitine poisoning and I also don't have to worry about it failing or getting the other items necessary for the SN method. The thought of leaving this earth from a natural plant also seems more environment friendly lol. I have bought 20 chinese monk shade seeds off etsy for $8 (including free shipping ) and plan on smashing them and blending them into a milkshake or smoothie, along with taking an adequate amount of valerian root in order to sedate myself and some pain relievers. The main cause of death from aconitine poisoning seems to be heart arrythmia, which usually isn't painful. I also plan on drinking a bottle of wine as way to suppress my nervous system.

Before coming into terms with CTBing, I did a lot of research on the afterlife, reading books and watching many videos on past life regressions, mediumship, NDEs, and hypnosis and I honestly await on learning the secrets of the universe and exploring it. You see I grew up with a religious mom who was deeply embedded in Christianity so for everyone who is scared of the religious aspect of death, please I advise you to do your own research.

Good luck!

 

[LittleJem]

No problem . Same with the SN, I almost acquired SN back in 2019 but didn't follow through with the order but when I felt like CTB again, SN just didn't seem appealing anymore after seeing threads about purity being a factor and acquiring additional medication to make sure it goes smoothly. Atleast I know when I take the wolfsbane tea, there is no survival. Also I love the thought of dying to a plant made by nature. May I ask what's your second method?

second method is drowning in bath tub. Taking benzos or something and see if I get lucky abd drown. This method would feel a bit less considerate as I am in temporary accommodation that has been organised for me.

Thx for the information. I know about lexapro taking 2 weeks to fully feel desired effects but I got the buspirone from my roommate recently and have no history of taking it. Will taking a big one-time dose of it allow some relief from anxiety? If not, I guess I have the alcohol and weed to calm me down for sure.

Thank you for your concern Dolphin <33. There's a bunch of other cases of people attempting suicide with aconitum or accidentally ingesting it after mistaking it for another plant and a lot of the cases don't mention the patient having pain. In a lot of cases, people usually lose consciousness and have to be resuscitated after intaking the flower by itself. The plant itself is known for being using for suicide in eastern countries just not common in western suicide cases. I can show you some of these other case studies if it eases your mind.

please do share all your case studies

 

[arsencio354]

second method is drowning in bath tub. Taking benzos or something and see if I get lucky abd drown. This method would feel a bit less considerate as I am in temporary accommodation that has been organised for me.

please do share all your case studies

https://mdpi-res.com/d_attachment/forensicsci/forensicsci-01-00005/article_deploy/forensicsci-01-00005-v2.pdf?version=1623298517

https://moscow.sci-hub.ru/1329/e06d2d6a34dce1c4d714279e1a0e6ceb/liu2011.pdf?download=true

https://moscow.sci-hub.ru/319/16ddd914fd557491837ac086283352dd/dickens1994.pdf?download=true

https://zero.sci-hub.ru/5288/480e5a008261e74100db32a5ed7fe7b5/li2016.pdf?download=true

https://sci-hub.ru/downloads/2020-03-02/77/[email protected]?download=true

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/71/wr/pdfs/mm7116a2-H.pdf

https://moscow.sci-hub.ru/980/b7d87d1efb97cf4e78faa0d125f77483/pullela2008.pdf?download=true

Aconite Poisoning with Good Outcome, Case Study and Literature Review

Aconite poisoning has been reported in previously published literature and case reports. It may occur due to accidental consumption of aconite tubers or when it is used in medicinal preparations. In this case report we describe a case of aconite poisoning in a primary case of anxiety disorder...

www.scirp.org

https://sciendo.com/pdf/10.2478/jccm-2020-0016

https://moscow.sci-hub.ru/1624/999cef001ddcf6cb7967079b08611167/gottignies2009.pdf?download=true

https://iris.unipa.it/retrieve/handle/10447/402726/850677/Bonanno_et_al-2020-Clinical_Case_Reports%20%281%29.pdf

One thing I noticed is those who actually ingested the plant matter itself aka leaves/roots had an higher chance of experiencing abdominal pain rather than those who ingested a tincture or tea. Also the abdominal pain has been compared to severe stomach cramping, if you have a menstrual cycle, IBS, or ever taken a detox tea or strong laxative, the pain shouldn't be foreign.