Ctb potentially affecting parents

[Meursault4]

How can one deal with the fact that your own suicide could hurt your parents and maybe family. If it weren't for my parents then I would've done it long before since I've nothing to enjoy in life nor any friends that would care.
Has anyone else faced this issue and is there any way you can over come it? I don't want to prolong my existence just out guilt.

 

[Rational man]

It can profoundly affect parents and loved ones. I know several people to this day. A local guy ctb too and his mother never recovered. She ctb a Year later. My grandad ctb and my Father attempted it too.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

It's pretty easy when one of my parents was so terrible to me that I've refused to speak to him for over 8 years. My other parent, my mom, will just have to accept that there's absolutely nothing she can do or could have done to possibly make me want to live and change my fate.

 

[.............]

It's SUPER hard to get over this, especially if you're close to your family. It's one of the hurdles I've been trying to get over so I can just CTB.

I'm sorry but it's inevitable. CTBing has a high chance of hurting your family no matter what you try to do. Unless you find a way to get over it, which would be with a method deeply personal for you, the guilt will stay. Minimizing it is your best bet. That's why in my letter, I kept reiterating that they had zero fault in me doing what I did.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

It sucks honestly, but there comes a point where something has to give. I can't go on suffering forever at their behest.

Also, we put animals down when they are suffering with no hope of cure and that rips us all apart (I had to put my cat of 11 years down in 2020) and it really ripped me apart, but I know he is in a better place now. I know that if I CTB, I will as well even if it rips them apart. Life will go on.

 

[FuneralCry]

I guess the way that I see it, death and loss are inevitable in this life, we will all die one day eventually and lose everything. I know that suicide would cause pain to others, but I could never suffer for the sake of others personally, we all have our right to exit at a time of our own choosing anyway. It is a difficult situation to be in, not wanting to hurt others and I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

 

[Meursault4]

It sucks honestly, but there comes a point where something has to give. I can't go on suffering forever at their behest.

Also, we put animals down when they are suffering with no hope of cure and that rips us all apart (I had to put my cat of 11 years down in 2020) and it really ripped me apart, but I know he is in a better place now. I know that if I CTB, I will as well even if it rips them apart. Life will go on.

Yeah sometimes I wonder if we believe too much that we love each other too much. Believe move on from breakups and stuff like that so I don't believe it will be any different for parents.
Problem is though that I'm the only child so potential brothers and sisters couldn't just replace me after time.
I honestly can't find a reason to continue and I think my life is getting worse and worse.
I've honestly thought about making my death look like an accident (like od on drugs) but it's hard to get fentanyl where I am so not really an option

Minimizing it is your best bet. That's why in my letter, I kept reiterating that they had zero fault in me doing what I did.

Yeah I guess I could do that, it's not hard to do because they've been mostly kind to me my whole life and supportive. I just don't the have the energy and will to keep trying something that doesn't work.

 

[outrider567]

It can profoundly affect parents and loved ones. I know several people to this day. A local guy ctb too and his mother never recovered. She ctb a Year later. My grandad ctb and my Father attempted it too.

Awful
Parents are gone--My brother will be gone in 6 months or less--Only my step-mother and my cousin Pam will be affected by my demise to any extent--My money is going to St Judes Children's Cancer Center, the charity my late girlfriend and I always talked about

 

[Stormboxer]

I know they love me but I don't feel the same, I'm just not close to them and don't care to be right now. They'll probably be the ones to find by body because I'm too scared to go out and ctb in a hotel

 

[nopride86]

I arrived to the decision to ctb after considering my mom's feelings, it would be the better option.

Prior, I always had some sort of desire to take my own life anyway. But in the past year I've had to make a choice - get the hell away from her or ctb.
She is somehow psychologically abusive and scary, yet incredibly infantile/helpless. If I just cut her off, she'd do anything in her power to make my life hell or get people to do it for her.

But if I die, she will be more likely to receive support in ways that she would not if I had just estranged myself. That support would feed her with enough narcissistic supply to at least keep her going and she'd get some closure.

It's also selfish, I don't think I could sleep at night knowing that she's just waiting by the door for me to come back. If I'm dead, I'm dead.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

So, I am going to bump this thread, and I want to get some honest thoughts on what I am about to type.

As of late, I have been hinting around that I may take my own life to my mother, basically by saying things along the lines of "some people cannot be helped", "sometimes the pain is too much", "I might not outlive you' so on and so forth. I realize that this might be a terrible thing for me to do, but the way I see it is I am trying to ease the possibility into her mind so it will sting slightly less when I eventually do the deed while also mitigating my own guilt for when I do go through with the deed. Is this wrong of me to do so? I just don't know of any other way.

I really am determined to go through with it. I just cannot go through life seeing other people live the genuine lifestyle that I wish I could, and I do not want to suffer at the behest of others. Besides, if she dies before me, I am fucked. I cannot pay off these bills for the rest of my life on his house and shit. I have no motivation to make anything of my life. Suicide is something I am absolutely confident and set on.

Thoughts?

 

[Meursault4]

So, I am going to bump this thread, and I want to get some honest thoughts on what I am about to type.

As of late, I have been hinting around that I may take my own life to my mother, basically by saying things along the lines of "some people cannot be helped", "sometimes the pain is too much", "I might not outlive you' so on and so forth. I realize that this might be a terrible thing for me to do, but the way I see it is I am trying to ease the possibility into her mind so it will sting slightly less when I eventually do the deed while also mitigating my own guilt for when I do go through with the deed. Is this wrong of me to do so? I just don't know of any other way.

I really am determined to go through with it. I just cannot go through life seeing other people live the genuine lifestyle that I wish I could, and I do not want to suffer at the behest of others. Besides, if she dies before me, I am fucked. I cannot pay off these bills for the rest of my life on his house and shit. I have no motivation to make anything of my life. Suicide is something I am absolutely confident and set on.

Thoughts?

I guess it's a bit wrong to do so but I understand that you're just trying to ease your mother for when you ctb.
I'm coming soon to the same conclusion that life is just unbearable in general and I'm also jealous of others who can enjoy life and be around others so that really stings.
I guess the best way to ease your mom's pain is to write a suicide note, explaining how it is not her fault, repeatedly.
I'd say if you want to say things to your mother before you ctb to clear her mind, it would be something that reassures that she is a good mother and that you love her.
Anyhow I'm sorry about your circumstances and hope it's goes smoothly and painlessly as possible and that your mother isn't too hurt. After all it's not her fault.

 

[Fengshuiside]

I'm in a similar situation where my suicide has only been postponed this far because I don't want to hurt my parents but eventually you may end up in such a life situation you just can't force yourself to live anymore only to please others.

 

[deathbylife]

I guess the way that I see it, death and loss are inevitable in this life, we will all die one day eventually and lose everything. I know that suicide would cause pain to others, but I could never suffer for the sake of others personally, we all have our right to exit at a time of our own choosing anyway. It is a difficult situation to be in, not wanting to hurt others and I'm sorry for all the suffering that has brought you to this point. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Couldn't have said it better

 

[wannawayout]

It won't be that hard considering my parents were abusive and neglectful my whole life. The only people I feel extremely guilty leaving behind are my younger siblings.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

How can one deal with the fact that your own suicide could hurt your parents and maybe family. If it weren't for my parents then I would've done it long before since I've nothing to enjoy in life nor any friends that would care.
Has anyone else faced this issue and is there any way you can over come it? I don't want to prolong my existence just out guilt.

I've held off this long for my son.
He's now an adult and starting his own life.
In a way I wish I had done it earlier, but I was afraid of the damage it would do to a kid.
It's still going to be difficult for him at this age. But I think he'll be better equipped to come to terms with it now that he's matured.
When I contemplated it earlier, while my parents were alive, I really didn't consider how it would affect them.
I'm not sure why.
I guess I kind of assumed they'd understand.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

I've been prepping my mother for it-I used to think why would anyone talk about being suicidal why not just do it but I get it now. I've been trying to get across that it's ok, it's a personal choice, there is no guilt to be had, etc I don't know whether it's a good idea to do this and ruin the last few months but at least she won't be that shocked when I do it. Actually no she will be cos I don't think she really thinks I would. I don't wanna upset her NOW but long-term when I'm gone I figure she'll know my reasoning, I've explained it all. If you don't like a job you quit, if you don't like a marriage you quit even though it'll hurt your kids no one would dare say "divorce is so selfish you have to stay in the marriage no matter what, it's temporary things will get better". I've been miserable for 12 years nothing is changing only for the worse.

 

[Sick&TiredURGH]

I plan on sending this article (using the delayed email option) to the people I care about when I ctb:

I Attempted Suicide. Here’s What I Want Suicide Loss Survivors to Know

If your loved one could reach you now, these are some of the things they would want you to know.

www.healthline.com

 

[Ligottian]

Mine are both dead. I took a vow to wait until then. I have no kids, spouse, partner. Just waiting until it becomes unbearable.