Discussion CTB is so hard

[slurpkoi]

This is just a general topic but you would think ctb would be easy, like the human body is so frail. But when it comes to doing it yourself it's just so hard, your SI kicks for a lot of methods that rely on you to make the decision, and alternative methods are blocked by pay wall or age ( sn and g*ns). And options that are easy to access like over the counter medication has a low success rate. And even if a method works it only works for some people. I mean I guess i'm summarizing what this place is all about in the first place but still it's so weird that even when I want it to be over so badly but I still can't just end no matter hm I want too. What's your guys thoughts?

 

[pretentioussuika]

If there is a God then he created the cruelest world possible. If this world were any more evil, people would rise up and overthrow it. Everything is exactly as cruel and evil as it can be without it all falling apart. And on the smallest scale, so often, our lives are exactly cruel enough to make us wish we could ctb, but apparently not cruel enough to cross that final hurdle of our SI.

 

[slurpkoi]

If there is a God then he created the cruelest world possible. If this world were any more evil, people would rise up and overthrow it. Everything is exactly as cruel and evil as it can be without it all falling apart. And on the smallest scale, so often, our lives are exactly cruel enough to make us wish we could ctb, but apparently not cruel enough to cross that final hurdle of our SI.

this perfectly summarizes it, I already consider my life over and live life like that now, but it's technically not over. I feel like my entire purpose is to end it and my own hurdle is myself, it's the worst.

 

[FuneralCry]

I really understand, it's just so dreadful and terrifying to me how trying to cease existing can go wrong and lead to way worse suffering and torture, all I wish for is the option to simply cease existing in peace and never suffer ever again and I see so much cruelty in how that is denied for me, I'd personally always prefer to not exist than suffer all for the sake of it in this futile, torturous existence I never would have chosen, I always suffer so much from how I cannot just have the option to just peacefully cease existing.

 

[dissolved_girl]

i relate to this. so so much. i also wish i had access to an easier method such as a g*n. i wish you peace ❤ :)

 

[AreWeWinning]

This is just a general topic but you would think ctb would be easy, like the human body is so frail. But when it comes to doing it yourself it's just so hard, your SI kicks for a lot of methods that rely on you to make the decision, and alternative methods are blocked by pay wall or age ( sn and g*ns). And options that are easy to access like over the counter medication has a low success rate. And even if a method works it only works for some people. I mean I guess i'm summarizing what this place is all about in the first place but still it's so weird that even when I want it to be over so badly but I still can't just end no matter hm I want too. What's your guys thoughts?

There are ways to overcome SI, but it's a project in itself. And it's difficult to give good advice, because that can count as encouragement.

For me, there are/were two sides to this. First, the decision itself. It took a long time until I was absolutely sure about it. And then, the question of how to overcome SI became just a technical detail. Although the two (SI and the decision itself) are not independent from each other. Because When you have SI, and you fear death, that makes you think about your other options, which creates hope, which makes you insecure about your decision. Similarly, if you're really determined, then you work more on how to possibly overcome your fears about death and overcome SI, which can make doing it easier, which makes you more certain in your decision.

If the decision is there, and you're absolutely determined, it is possible to overcome SI. It's not easy, but people do scary stuff in life, even very scary stuff. And they manage to do it. There are techniques for it. Death is just another scary thing.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

There are ways to overcome SI, but it's a project in itself. And it's difficult to give good advice, because that can count as encouragement.

For me, there are/were two sides to this. First, the decision itself. It took a long time until I was absolutely sure about it. And then, the question of how to overcome SI became just a technical detail. Although the two (SI and the decision itself) are not independent from each other. Because When you have SI, and you fear death, that makes you think about your other options, which creates hope, which makes you insecure about your decision. Similarly, if you're really determined, then you work more on how to possibly overcome your fears about death and overcome SI, which can make doing it easier, which makes you more certain in your decision.

If the decision is there, and you're absolutely determined, it is possible to overcome SI. It's not easy, but people do scary stuff in life, even very scary stuff. And they manage to do it. There are techniques for it. Death is just another scary thing.

if you want could you PM me about some techniques to overcome si? i despise my life and life in general more than anyone .

i agree with the god-like superintelligent ai AM in the short story "i have no mouth and i must scream"

a most telling story that shows even a super ai cannot bear to exist : i have no mouth and i must scream


https://openlab.citytech.cuny.edu/?get_group_doc=22694/1540157347-HarlanEllison-IHaveNoMouthandIMustScream.pdf

 

[pattyr26]

ive been thinking about this kind of thing a lot. life is so fragile, it can be wiped out in an instant for no reason, yet its so hard to commit for all the reasons pointed out so far.