hug
Member
- Apr 12, 2024
- 30
My head hurts a lot these days, doing simple things makes it work, and a very strong flash of light appears in my dreams but also in everyday life. I just remember when I finally became friends with Jennifer's boyfriend at the beginning of 2019, and I believe he ended up falling in love with me, which wasn't part of the plan, suddenly, when I talked to him, in the apartment where he lived, a light it appeared very strong, and I woke up with the same headache. I just ignored the fact that we talked, and days later he appeared in the newspaper, he disappeared from this world. I went to Jennifer's house with the intention of telling her that I knew him, but when I arrived at his house, I realized that she was terrible, her world had collapsed and there was only me at that time to hug her and calm her down. After we created an attachment since I was the only one before her boyfriend who still had a connection, she talked to me many times about her plan to go to CTB, she wanted to, and at that time I kind of wanted to go too, it didn't last long time for us to convince ourselves to go together. After a lot of conversation and a lot of reflection, and I hugged her tightly, and we went to a bridge near the house at 10 pm, it was so dark and I only saw her eyes, those eyes, they were big, at that time I told her that we were going to a better place. She jumped, but I….no, because I remembered my connection with my brother, I saw her falling, writing this text I just remembered everything at once. At that time I didn't express anything and went home, but when I locked the door to my room, I had a freak out, I started hitting myself, telling myself over and over again that it was my fault while I didn't stop crying for almost an hour. uninterrupted, and slept. This is the first time I remembered that moment, because that same day I slept, and woke up as if nothing had happened.
