ctb date coming soon

[TheYounger]

I've been planning to ctb on the 31st of this month. And it's only several weeks away. I've been thinking about whether I should go through with it or not. I wish there was hope for the future but it really seems like a dead end.

I've got everything ready for the 31st. My SA is mixed and ready to go. But I'm still wavering whether to go through with it or not. I still want to go one more year and hope things will get better but I'm pretty certain they won't. So, I don't know what the 31st holds. I may post a goodbye thread on that day. Or may not.

 

[Sakura94]

if you're not sure maybe add another month on?

 

[botanormal]

Ctb is a really big decision, so if you're not completely ready, it's completely understandable to wait a bit longer. Be it a day, a week, a month, a year, or even indefinitely, whatever you're most comfortable with is what you should do. Good luck with everything.

 

[TheYounger]

if you're not sure maybe add another month on?

Yeah, i think that might be the case for me. I was really close to going through with it like a month or two back. I could taste the SA on my lips but i just couldn't "pull the trigger".

Ctb is a really big decision, so if you're not completely ready, it's completely understandable to wait a bit longer. Be it a day, a week, a month, a year, or even indefinitely, whatever you're most comfortable with is what you should do. Good luck with everything.

Thanks for the kind words. I'll have to think about it for sure.

 

[KolK]

You don't have to go through with it just because you planned for it. If you believe your life can get better, it is always worth a shot. I'm not trying to act high and mighty, but the fact that you are having second thoughts means you are probably still hopeful towards life.

 

[Sakura94]

Things are always worst in winter at least for me. Yeah be absolutely sure
the days get slightly lighter in January.

 

[TheYounger]

You don't have to go through with it just because you planned for it. If you believe your life can get better, it is always worth a shot. I'm not trying to act high and mighty, but the fact that you are having second thoughts means you are probably still hopeful towards life.

Yeah, in a way I am hopeful but i look at the long term and it just seems like my life really isn't going anywhere. So, i really don't know at this point.

Things are always worst in winter at least for me. Yeah be absolutely sure
the days get slightly lighter in January.

Definitely. the snow, the cold, the short hours of the day. It's been depressing me more than usual, that's for sure.

 

[justanotherstar]

All plans are provisional and we must remember they are our own to change at any moment. If now is not your time to CTB then grab that extra time you feel able to pursue life whether it is a day or two or months... years. The option to CTB is always there, it's always yours

 

[TheYounger]

All plans are provisional and we must remember they are our own to change at any moment. If now is not your time to CTB then grab that extra time you feel able to pursue life whether it is a day or two or months... years. The option to CTB is always there, it's always yours

Thank you. I appreciate it. I feel okay knowing that I have everything prepared for whichever day i do decide to go. I thought I would have the courage to go through with it on the 31st but... I don't know at this point.

 

[constant_grief]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I feel okay knowing that I have everything prepared for whichever day i do decide to go. I thought I would have the courage to go through with it on the 31st but... I don't know at this point.

TheYounger, sorry you are suffering. There is no need to add extra pressure/stress on yourself and set a precise date.

Is your situation definitely hopeless? If you are in good physical health I would urge you to go on with life, of course it's your decision. Hope you feel better soon.

 

[justanotherstar]

Thank you. I appreciate it. I feel okay knowing that I have everything prepared for whichever day i do decide to go. I thought I would have the courage to go through with it on the 31st but... I don't know at this point.

I think for many of us having the means and a plan and knowing we can leave at any moment can sometimes in itself help us to live a little bit longer and there is no shame in that. For some people thoughts change and if you're lucky maybe even disappear. I think what matters most is that you are In a forum of people who believe in having complete agency over that decision and there is something very liberating about that. I hope that you continue to find the support here that you need, whatever that looks like. And like many others my inbox is always open

 

[TheYounger]

I think for many of us having the means and a plan and knowing we can leave at any moment can sometimes in itself help us to live a little bit longer and there is no shame in that. For some people thoughts change and if you're lucky maybe even disappear. I think what matters most is that you are In a forum of people who believe in having complete agency over that decision and there is something very liberating about that. I hope that you continue to find the support here that you need, whatever that looks like. And like many others my inbox is always open

Thank you. I appreciate it once again.

TheYounger, sorry you are suffering. There is no need to add extra pressure/stress on yourself and set a precise date.

Is your situation definitely hopeless? If you are in good physical health I would urge you to go on with life, of course it's your decision. Hope you feel better soon.

Yeah, i initially set the date because I wanted to feel like I was actually going to go through with my ctb plan. I needed the date because it felt like I couldn't impulsively kill myself, if that makes sense. So, I've talked about my ctb date quiet a bit in past threads but now it's like I'm not really sure. I try to set these goals for myself like weightloss and stuff but it's like... it still feels hopeless.

As for my situation being hopeless, I think it is. It's very hard to explain but at this point it seems like dying is the only way out for me.

 

[constant_grief]

Thank you. I appreciate it once again.

Yeah, i initially set the date because I wanted to feel like I was actually going to go through with my ctb plan. I needed the date because it felt like I couldn't impulsively kill myself, if that makes sense. So, I've talked about my ctb date quiet a bit in past threads but now it's like I'm not really sure. I try to set these goals for myself like weightloss and stuff but it's like... it still feels hopeless.

As for my situation being hopeless, I think it is. It's very hard to explain but at this point it seems like dying is the only way out for me.

I'm sorry everything feels so hopeless for you. I know things like losing weight can be very difficult. Do you still have things you enjoy doing?

 

[TheYounger]

I'm sorry everything feels so hopeless for you. I know things like losing weight can be very difficult. Do you still have things you enjoy doing?

Not really. These past two years I've lost interest in many things. I use to play guitar, make music, play video games, and such. But lately it's just been like pointless.