I get what you're saying with the homicidal aspect. I have a lot of internalised rage and used to be prone to violence when I was a teenager. It feels like the violence is creeping back in, though. There's times when I go out hoping to be provoked. I won't start anything, but I want them to have a go at me, so I can retaliate and put my hands on them. I essentially want to hurt somebody and not feel guilty after the fact because they started it. It honestly concerns me. I don't want to end up the way I used to be.
I can certainly understand your anger. Society is unbelievably selfish. Very little in society is done for others but instead for themselves. As far as what you are saying... I think you are taking a monumental risk. For one things like tasers exist, two you are just as likely to not die, and three if you fail you are looking at serious prison time where you are going to be infinitely more miserable.... That said in my state you can take college courses and be placed in a job upon release so who knows maybe it's more attractive then I thought. Beats having 150k+ in debt and still not finding a job where no one gives a shit about you. Just a really long free education + job placement program. For me I think it is better if society can become aware of their foibles and hope they change and start caring about people other than themselves. People on the margins forced into isolation by society can be given a reprieve.... That isn't going to happen by murdering a bunch of people and dying by a cop. You'll just be vilified and the cycle will continue. All in all not a great idea. But one I can empathize with.
Damn thats tragic ):
LOL this, me too! i want to die ):
