CTB because virginity and a girl?

[lonerclown666]

Thats are my reasons also im tired of live being adult is horrible

 

[PreussenBlueJay]

Do you mean you like a girl?

 

[waitingforrest]

It doesn't matter what your reason is. As long as it causes you pain and makes you want to ctb, then it is valid.

 

[sueoffside]

You can always pay a sex worker

 

[Maaizr]

It doesn't matter what your reason is. As long as it causes you pain and makes you want to ctb, then it is valid.

pay the man/woman

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

You can always pay a sex worker

Agreed! @lonerclown666, what's specifically troubling you: the lack of sex or the lack of romantic reciprocation from a specific girl? If it's lack of sex, what about hiring a prostie/escort? Have you thought about it?

If prostitution is legal in or near your area, just go do the deed. It might literally save you life. If it's not, that's a lot harder. But there are plenty of underground escort sites that'll give you access to relatively safe prostitution options.

 

[Mr2005]

I'm sure there's plenty of guys here that would be happy to help you

 

[forgotten15]

I am sorry you are suffering. I wish I could say something comforting… In my opinion virginity should actually be something that you are proud of, in this promiscuous world it's becoming more and more rare. You shouldn't feel bad because of this, it would be worse if you lost it to someone who doesn't love and appreciate you. Please don't feel bad about it.

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

I am sorry you are suffering. I wish I could say something comforting… In my opinion virginity should actually be something that you are proud of, in this promiscuous world it's becoming more and more rare. You shouldn't feel bad because of this, it would be worse if you lost it to someone who doesn't love and appreciate you. Please don't feel bad about it.

Umm... that is not comforting in the slightest, and comes off as a platitude. Most men don't view their virginity as something to be cherished---they view it as an albatross around their neck or a monkey on their back. That is, something to be offloadws as soon as possible. Whether to a high school girlfriend (best option), to a party hookup (meh), or to a prostie (last resort), the goal is the same: becoming a man who had sex. And he most certainly WILL feel bad about it if it can't happen before the age he wants it to happen at.

Your heart is in the right place, but unless the OP is not like most men, your statement will do more harm than good. (Conversely, if the OP is an LGBT woman, I got nothing; my apologies for making an assumption.)

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Umm... that is not comforting in the slightest, and comes off as a platitude. Most men don't view their virginity as something to be cherished---they view it as an albatross around their neck or a monkey on their back. That is, something to be offloadws as soon as possible. Whether to a high school girlfriend (best option), to a party hookup (meh), or to a prostie (last resort), the goal is the same: becoming a man who had sex. And he most certainly WILL feel bad about it if it can't happen before the age he wants it to happen at.

Your heart is in the right place, but unless the OP is not like most men, your statement will do more harm than good. (Conversely, if the OP is an LGBT woman, I got nothing; my apologies for making an assumption.)

I've had hundreds of sexual partners in my life.

When I lost my virginity (male) my reaction was "that's really it ?".

Very overrated and overhyped

 

[MyStateKilledMe]

When I lost my virginity (male) my reaction was "that's really it ?".

Well... that makes one of us. When I lost my virginity, I was on cloud 9! I barely made it through the rest of that weekend, and almost got written up at work the following Monday, for not listening attentively enough. (It was a shitty job I had at the time.)

Come to think of it, I could never recreate the same feeling again until May 2020. That's when I went to an illegal party, where I socialized with people for the first time in 2 months, when my state was under the Biden Flu lockdown. (Which was what prompted me to join this site.)

 

[Crazy4u]

I'm sure there's plenty of guys here that would be happy to help you

I think OP is a man

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Well... that makes one of us. When I lost my virginity, I was on cloud 9! I barely made it through the rest of that weekend, and almost got written up at work the following Monday, for not listening attentively enough. (It was a shitty job I had at the time.)

Come to think of it, I could never recreate the same feeling again until May 2020. That's when I went to an illegal party, where I socialized with people for the first time in 2 months, when my state was under the Biden Flu lockdown. (Which was what prompted me to join this site.)

I guess peoples experience varies. The girl I did it with was experienced and I obviously wasn't and she was pretty hot too. But after it's just like ok I want to go back to watching tv or go exercise

 

[Superdeterminist]

It bothers me as well. People tend not to like this kind of talk because they think it's "weird incels stuff" but I disagree. When I hear about people's sexual affairs it honestly upsets me because I've nothing going on in that domain and never have. Yes, I'm envious. And people like to downplay the issue, but you can only really understand it if you've gone your whole life without intimacy. Those who dismiss this problem tend to be people with experience already under their belt, so they speak from a position of privilege.

 

[Gsvko]

If the thing stopping you is shame from being a virgin (not saying it should be a reason for shame), I'd either pay someone or have a bad ons. Depending on your options. You can be as open or closed about it as you want I guess. Sex workers can be really nice people, I know some as friends. Break the ice. And no shame in paying! We are all different, with different backgrounds that effect our lives and choices. Paying is an exchange, but you'd still be winning imo.

 

[MelancholyMagic]

Very overrated and overhyped

Maybe, maybe not. Depends on the person. But there is an important distinction here: You know that for you it is "very overrated and overhyped". But if you had never experienced it, you'd only have your imagination and the testimony of others to refer to - both of which largely make sex out to be something great.
Once you've experienced it, you can judge it. But until then, you are left wanting what others talk about so wonderfully (and what media portrays as amazing). This wanting can be insufferable.
And, just worth pointing out, if you've had hundreds of sexual partners in your life, you must really like something about it, even if you suggest you don't.

 

[Circles]

People need to stop with the whole sex worker advice in my opinion. Yes it'll take away OP's virginity but it won't help their need for intimacy and love that only a relationship can provide. Paying someone for the basic and most important human experiences is fucking shallow.

 

[PreussenBlueJay]

People need to stop with the whole sex worker advice in my opinion. Yes it'll take away OP's virginity but it won't help their need for intimacy and love that only a relationship can provide. Paying someone for the basic and most important human experiences is fucking shallow.

As the saying goes, "You can't buy love."

 

[whatevs]

I'm a 30yo virgin and I'm starting not to care about it. I'm embracing who I am. Never were a normal person, never will be. If shoving your genitals into someone else is important for society, it never was for me. I just felt the shame that it brought me. And now that I have anorgasmia the whole sex thing is more pointless than anything else.

I dunno if this will help anyone in a similar situation. Maybe I am just suicidally depressed so I don't give a fuck anymore, so it's not great advice lol. But if you are really weird, ask yourself why should you abide by the standards of people that aren't like you. Accept who you are.

 

[Gsvko]

As the saying goes, "You can't buy love."

It's not gonna buy love, but could help with feeling less weird and give confidence to pursue an emotional interest.

 

[Circles]

It's not gonna buy love, but could help with feeling less weird and give confidence to pursue an emotional interest.

I'm sorry but how is getting a hooker or 'buying love' an emotional interest when it involves money? A sex worker isn't going to replace what a relationship can provide whatsoever. Having shallow sex with someone you don't know isn't going to help fill the void of loneliness.

 

[O_oreo.]

I am also a virgin, I am 20 and although others say that I am still very young, being 20 and being a virgin weighs, especially when everyone you know has already done it, sometimes I ask myself: what's wrong with me, do I cause disgust? as a woman it is sad because men are supposed to approach you but my case is not like that, they just look at you and pass by, I have never had a boyfriend not because I do not talk to guys, I have male friends but that gender does not want anything serious with me, I consider that I do not have a good face, maybe a nice body because I have been told so, but for something serious I am like the "human repellent of men", since I was little boys have told me hurtful things and they move away from me at the slightest insinuation or environment. ...then I can tell you that...you are not alone.
many, including psychologists, although I have not given all these details, tell me that there is nothing wrong with me, but they don't answer me because I push others away...you could perhaps hire a service (if it makes you feel good), or talk to someone close to you (suitable) who can advise and understand you.

 

[Interloper]

It's not gonna buy love, but could help with feeling less weird and give confidence to pursue an emotional interest.

It's a bit of a gamble, it can backfire and cause even more shame, but I will chime in that it gave one of my friends a big enough confidence boost to approach someone at a NYE party last month. 'Only' oral happened, but it's a first step I suppose. He definitely acted like he was on top of the world though.

OP when you say girl, do you mean you are in love with a girl or are you lusting after a girl? If lust then a worker might work.

 

[lostautist]

People need to stop with the whole sex worker advice in my opinion. Yes it'll take away OP's virginity but it won't help their need for intimacy and love that only a relationship can provide. Paying someone for the basic and most important human experiences is fucking shallow.

I'm not sure a sex worker is the answer either, but a sex therapist might be good for individuals feeling this way. Perhaps they need some guidance about interpersonal interactions and being comfortable with sexuality. I know that would have helped me get over sexual abuse, but it's not an issue that gives me anxiety. I'm broken and know it. Some people are caring and understanding and others, not and that's not an aggrivating issue for me.

 

[Circles]

I'm not sure a sex worker is the answer either, but a sex therapist might be good for individuals feeling this way. Perhaps they need some guidance about interpersonal interactions and being comfortable with sexuality. I know that would have helped me get over sexual abuse, but it's not an issue that gives me anxiety. I'm broken and know it. Some people are caring and understanding and others, not and that's not an aggrivating issue for me.

I can understand that and agree, but where are you going to find a sex therapist especially if you don't live in a large city and especially one that takes your insurance? What then?

 

[lostautist]

I can understand that and agree, but where are you going to find a sex therapist especially if you don't live in a large city and especially one that takes your insurance? What then?

I do not and won't pretend to know about anyone else's situation other than my own, only how I relate to how I see others react on this issue.

All of this superficial "I can't get laid and I'm a virgin" CTB depression most likely has underlying psychological issues of some sort that are either not talked about or subconscious and someone who specifically deals with intimacy and sex would probably be ideal for helping nerves, insecurities, bonding, intimacy, self-consciousness or other issues that either drive away or do not attract the types of relationships that one would like to attain.

As someone who was basically destroyed and having intimacy and bonding issues from early childhood neglect and abuse, I can say I'm fairly certain that a sex therapist could have helped me. How and where one would find one? I don't know but a lot of people seem to be getting meds and help from therapists here, so many people may have the means to afford one. I don't know. I'm not going to make a bunch of assumptions. I'm only providing a logical alternative to "just get a hooker" talk.

 

[Gsvko]

It's a bit of a gamble, it can backfire and cause even more shame,...

I guess it depends on the mindset.

I'm sorry but how is getting a hooker or 'buying love' an emotional interest when it involves money? A sex worker isn't going to replace what a relationship can provide whatsoever. Having shallow sex with someone you don't know isn't going to help fill the void of loneliness.

I meant that it could make the experience known. It's not love with a worker, but could still be fun and open up opportunities if the shame is reduced.

It's an option, OP should go with their gut.

 

[PreussenBlueJay]

I dunno if this will help anyone in a similar situation. Maybe I am just suicidally depressed so I don't give a fuck anymore, so it's not great advice lol. But if you are really weird, ask yourself why should you abide by the standards of people that aren't like you. Accept who you are.

I'm not that far behind in age. In my case I never cared about being a virgin but was concerned that I would grow old alone. I'm not great at living for myself, I like the idea of being useful to someone and being needed. Knowing my personality it's very well that if I found someone with whom I could hold hands and spend time, I may find that I didn't want it after all. But yeah, like you I'm not a normal person so my only hope would be to bump into someone who's fine with a weirdo. I'm not holding my breath. And thanks for sharing, I look up to you with your comments that fit your picture and name so well (I had a good hard laugh at GPT-3).

 

[whatevs]

I'm not that far behind in age. In my case I never cared about being a virgin but was concerned that I would grow old alone. I'm not great at living for myself, I like the idea of being useful to someone and being needed. Knowing my personality it's very well that if I found someone with whom I could hold hands and spend time, I may find that I didn't want it after all. But yeah, like you I'm not a normal person so my only hope would be to bump into someone who's fine with a weirdo. I'm not holding my breath. And thanks for sharing, I look up to you with your comments that fit your picture and name so well (I had a good hard laugh at GPT-3).

Oh, for sure. I am not going to pretend not to feel hurt by loneliness. I think I used to be a very romantic and passionate person, or I had the potential for that. But I had just one brief, fleeting relationship and I could literally, physically feel pain in my heart when it was ending (by her, of course). I was even told that I was scum and reminded frequently that I wasn't good or normal enough.

The happiness I experienced the first weeks was very intense, however. I can see how a successful romance can make life worthwhile. But when it doesn't work out and you are sensitive... Many people actually kill themselves or someone else from failed romance, it's that painful.

I remember crying in my bed every night for days. Fun times.

 

[WonderingSoul]

I am sorry you are suffering. I wish I could say something comforting… In my opinion virginity should actually be something that you are proud of, in this promiscuous world it's becoming more and more rare. You shouldn't feel bad because of this, it would be worse if you lost it to someone who doesn't love and appreciate you. Please don't feel bad about it.

That's an interesting perspective. I like it.