notori
Member
- Nov 26, 2023
- 40
Hanging. It was a heat of the moment thing and it almost finally killed me. I found out my partner had been doing something that was one of my strict boundaries and broke my trust and he just dropped me off. I said I needed space. I put the belt around my neck as tight as I could and I don't have an anchor so I threw it over my bathroom door that's taller than me and closed it and it stayed. I adjusted the buckle of the belt to be in what I tried to be the sweet spot. Lots of crying and convincing myself to do it while standing on top of a chair and eventually I slipped. I let it happen at first because I didn't realize how serious it was because I had messed around with hanging before to see what it felt like but it started working and I couldn't get the belt off.then SI kicked in. I suddenly didn't want to die and started struggling but I couldn't get the belt off and couldn't get my feet on the floor. I guess I passed out at some point I genuinely don't remember. I woke up on my floor with the belt still around my neck but the long part next to me. I probably just needed to close the door better. I bit so hard onto my tongue somehow it's got deep bite marks onto it that hurt so bad and are bleeding. My ears are still ringing I can't hear as Well it's all fuzzy. There's a giant red mark around my neck and everything hurts so bad and my head feels floaty. But it almost worked. I think I know how I can finally free myself. I don't know if I'll do it again tonight because I can't bring myself to get up or move at all I'm just so done I wish someone would just come into my apartment and shoot me and it would be done. Existence is cruel
Update: I just found the end bit of the belt on the floor on the other side of the door. It broke. That's why I'm alive.
Update: I just found the end bit of the belt on the floor on the other side of the door. It broke. That's why I'm alive.
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