CTB as soon as my SN comes in...

[UnbearableLightness]

I tried to CTB last month with SN but SI kicked in and I was saved. ICU, then Psych ward, the whole deal. They put me on this drug called olanzapine because i wouldn't stop involuntarily vomiting. I've been trying to get off it this week and I'm having a psychotic break. Gonna go back up in dose for the next few days just to get by without losing it completely then CTB as soon as my replacement SN arrives which could be as soon as the 9th. I refuse to live life as a schizophrenic because of this drug they put me on. I'm beyond ready to end it. Wish i had the SN right now but i have to hang on a few more days. Will update here when it arrives
i have to make sure I'm somewhere where I can't get help this time

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I tried to CTB last month with SN but SI kicked in and I was saved. ICU, then Psych ward, the whole deal. They put me on this drug called olanzapine because i wouldn't stop involuntarily vomiting. I've been trying to get off it this week and I'm having a psychotic break. Gonna go back up in dose for the next few days just to get by without losing it completely then CTB as soon as my replacement SN arrives which could be as soon as the 9th. I refuse to live life as a schizophrenic because of this drug they put me on. I'm beyond ready to end it. Wish i had the SN right now but i have to hang on a few more days. Will update here when it arrives
i have to make sure I'm somewhere where I can't get help this time

That's my fear si kicking in and it calling for help . So I need to find an isolated spot away from humans and that's expensive as hell to travel .

And they have the nerve to tell us suicide is easy.

Also ur another survivor can u tell us if sn was painless as many have to counter the imo recent prolife posts

 

[1000winds]

olanzapine is 1 of the AE recommended in the stan's guide. In your first attempt did you call for help or did someone find you. i am planning to ctb at home when everyone is asleep. i dont have the luxury of going to a hotel

 

[Hope:-)]

Are you saying you endured medical malpractice via drug therapy'. That happened to me.

Did you call for help?x

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds really awful what you are going through, and to me it's horrifying how life can torture us in so many ways. I'm sorry that you have to experience all this, I hope that you find freedom from your suffering as none of us should ever have to endure such agony.

 

[UnbearableLightness]

There was no pain, just hyperventilation, fast heartbeat, and vomiting. I have propanolol now though so the heartbeat will be taken care of. I did call for help maybe 15 min in and they got an ambulance to me and saved me.

 

[1000winds]

There was no pain, just hyperventilation, fast heartbeat, and vomiting. I have propanolol now though so the heartbeat will be taken care of. I did call for help maybe 15 min in and they got an ambulance to me and saved

did you take meto?

 

[UnbearableLightness]

No meto, though I have some for this upcoming attempt. Hopefully it'll be my last. I've gotta get out of here before things get any worse.

 

[UnbearableLightness]

I don't know how much I took, I just dumped a heaping tablespoon in a mug of water and drank it. I did lose consciousness though, they told me afterwards my blood oxygen was in the 50s and I almost died. Too bad I had to live to see things get even worse.

 

[betternever2havbeen]

There was no pain, just hyperventilation, fast heartbeat, and vomiting. I have propanolol now though so the heartbeat will be taken care of. I did call for help maybe 15 min in and they got an ambulance to me and saved me.

Does propanolol take care of that then? I've heard people say it's the worst symptom. Ah man this is hard to read-a few people having to call for help, now I know I definitely would freak out and call as well. Is that why you called an ambulance because of the heartbeat?

 

[Theanswer]

I don't know how much I took, I just dumped a heaping tablespoon in a mug of water and drank it. I did lose consciousness though, they told me afterwards my blood oxygen was in the 50s and I almost died. Too bad I had to live to see things get even worse.

A tablespoon isn't enough. Also, you really need a digital scale to measure the SN - 25 grams. Inaccurate to compare tablespoons to weight of grams.

 

[Shu]

A tablespoon isn't enough. Also, you really need a digital scale to measure the SN - 25 grams. Inaccurate to compare tablespoons to weight of grams.

2 grams is enough. Also not everybody has access to a scale for whatever reason. Some people will have to work with what they've got. I'm using 1.4 tablespoons. My sn is finally granulated like salt.

 

[Theanswer]

2 grams is enough. Also not everybody has access to a scale for whatever reason. Some people will have to work with what they've got. I'm using 1.4 tablespoons. My sn is finally granulated like salt.

Of course, your choice not to follow PPeH or Stan's Guides. I, will be following those guides.

 

[Shu]

Of course, your choice not to follow PPeH or Stan's Guides. I, will be following those guides.

It has nothing to do with not following the guide some people don't have access to a scale or can't have one in the environment that they're in. I have people watching my every move what I order/what I'm purchasing at the store. I cannot have scale in my home. I will be fine. I've already looked into this.
Good choice following the guide. I will be taking around 22-26 grams and will be drinking a back up. I will be fine. The original weight was weigh lower than the 25 grams recommended now.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

There was no pain, just hyperventilation, fast heartbeat, and vomiting. I have propanolol now though so the heartbeat will be taken care of. I did call for help maybe 15 min in and they got an ambulance to me and saved me.

Just so I can understand, there was NO pain, but you called an ambulance anyway? So, you changed your mind about wanting to CTB and that's why you called an ambulance?

 

[1000winds]

2 grams is enough. Also not everybody has access to a scale for whatever reason. Some people will have to work with what they've got. I'm using 1.4 tablespoons. My sn is finally granulated like salt.

how are you going to measure the .4 with a tablespoon? will you just take half a table spoon?

 

[Dried_Ink]

I'm happy that you called for help and received the care that you needed. Poisoning truly is scary. I have a few questions for you, just trying to shed light on a couple things.

I presume the tachycardia was the most distressing side effect of SN poisoning and what ultimately led you to call for help?
Let's say you had taken a beta blocker and an antiemetic, treating the rapid heart rate and vomiting— do you think the experience would have been as difficult?
How long did it take to pass out?
Did it feel like time was dilating the moments leading up to unconsciousness?
Did you pass out after calling for help or shortly after under the care of EMS?

 

[Sun n showers]

I tried to CTB last month with SN but SI kicked in and I was saved. ICU, then Psych ward, the whole deal. They put me on this drug called olanzapine because i wouldn't stop involuntarily vomiting. I've been trying to get off it this week and I'm having a psychotic break. Gonna go back up in dose for the next few days just to get by without losing it completely then CTB as soon as my replacement SN arrives which could be as soon as the 9th. I refuse to live life as a schizophrenic because of this drug they put me on. I'm beyond ready to end it. Wish i had the SN right now but i have to hang on a few more days. Will update here when it arrives
i have to make sure I'm somewhere where I can't get help this time

Where abouts are you?

 

[UnbearableLightness]

Does propanolol take care of that then? I've heard people say it's the worst symptom. Ah man this is hard to read-a few people having to call for help, now I know I definitely would freak out and call as well. Is that why you called an ambulance because of the heartbeat?

It was the combination of the hyperventilation and the heartbeat. I'm honestly still scared of the hyperventilation. I didn't call the ambulance myself I just told my stepdad and he called

Just so I can understand, there was NO pain, but you called an ambulance anyway? So, you changed your mind about wanting to CTB and that's why you called an ambulance?

Yep no pain but I freaked out because of the tachycardia and hyperventilation and told my stepdad who called them. SI kicked in and I wish it hadn't.

I'm happy that you called for help and received the care that you needed. Poisoning truly is scary. I have a few questions for you, just trying to shed light on a couple things.

I presume the tachycardia was the most distressing side effect of SN poisoning and what ultimately led you to call for help?
Let's say you had taken a beta blocker and an antiemetic, treating the rapid heart rate and vomiting— do you think the experience would have been as difficult?
How long did it take to pass out?
Did it feel like time was dilating the moments leading up to unconsciousness?
Did you pass out after calling for help or shortly after under the care of EMS?

With the beta blocker I think it's gonna be more doable because the heartbeat was 50% of why I asked my stepdad for help. I passed out like 20 min in after I was in the ambulance. They had an oxygen mask over my face and I found out later that I was intubated at the hospital. I remember a few seconds of consciousness at the hospital where they cut off my clothes and pushed this mask down really hard on my face. Other than that it's a blank until I woke up and they were taking the tubes out of my throat.

Where abouts are you?

New England

A tablespoon isn't enough. Also, you really need a digital scale to measure the SN - 25 grams. Inaccurate to compare tablespoons to weight of grams.

When I say tablespoon I didn't mean a measuring cup I meant I took a regular sized spoon and heaped it full then dumped it in the mug

 

[betternever2havbeen]

It was the combination of the hyperventilation and the heartbeat. I'm honestly still scared of the hyperventilation. I didn't call the ambulance myself I just told my stepdad and he called

Ah I see, thanks for explaining. Yeh it seems like a pretty scary experience-people think as long as there's no pain it's all good but these types of things are scary as fuck too.

 

[Hope:-)]

Would you describe it as painful or merely uncomfortable? Do you think the SI was caused by fear of death?x