Venting “Cowards”

[phoenixx]

You know, I absolutely hate it when people call those who commit suicide "cowards". Or when they say "oh, they took the easy way out".

Cowardly? The easy way out? Are they serious? Don't people realise how much strength you need to commit, or even attempt, suicide? It's far from easy or cowardly. If it was easy, I wouldn't be hear right now. People just don't understand how fucking hard it is to actually put an end to your life. How hard it is to get over the survival instinct. How hard it is to finally let go. These people who say these things have no idea what suicidal people go through. They have no idea at all. Yet they'll happily call them selfish or cowards for taking their life. It angers me so much. They just don't understand at all.

 

[OrcWitch]

All the casual condemnation of suicidal people is very ignorant.

 

[SuicideRun]

I agree, instead of wondering why ... You can't understand the feeling of an unbridgeable void inside if you don't have it

 

[logan]

I agree with you and would not have thought before that it is so difficult.

However, some may think that it is more of a way to avoid responsibility for your problems.

 

[SuicideRun]

I agree with you and would not have thought before that it is so difficult.

However, some may think that it is more of a way to avoid responsibility for your problems.

that was the only problem

 

[fox_wannabe]

Even if it is easy, things are not right or worth doing just because they are hard. This is one of tactics to shame us. Used by society which is based on Stockholm syndrome and on our fear of death.

However, some may think that it is more of a way to avoid responsibility for your problems.

Yeah, some may think that, but really you cannot impose bad life and tell him he is responsible for it. My auntie bought me parrot I didn't ask for, was I responsible for it?
In large we have a cult of martyr-ism in our society. We prasie people for doing hard stuff even if they are pointless. Like raising stupid amount of kids or working extra hours, when people mention doing that they wait for your praise and applause. People do not want to admit that what they do are stuff to prevent their death, like working. No money=no food = death. That is what makes society. The notion that suicide is something shameful is manipulation, of course, as well as defense mechanism of people who would like to quit but are afraid of death.

 

[ClownMe]

It's ironic because killing yourself actually takes an insane amount of mental strength when you think about it, you're saying goodbye to everything you, and everyone/thing on this planet knows, takes guts.

 

[YourNeighbor]

I can't remember the last time I heard anyone call a suicide cowardly, except in that rare case of a suicide bomber or a mass shooter killing himself when confronted by police and where politicians then express collective disgust against the killer.

 

[toforigivelife]

You know, I absolutely hate it when people call those who commit suicide "cowards". Or when they say "oh, they took the easy way out".

Cowardly? The easy way out? Are they serious? Don't people realise how much strength you need to commit, or even attempt, suicide? It's far from easy or cowardly. If it was easy, I wouldn't be hear right now. People just don't understand how fucking hard it is to actually put an end to your life. How hard it is to get over the survival instinct. How hard it is to finally let go. These people who say these things have no idea what suicidal people go through. They have no idea at all. Yet they'll happily call them selfish or cowards for taking their life. It angers me so much. They just don't understand at all.

Easy? Sorry, no. There is nothing easy about the sheer level of pain and despair that we live with on a day to day basis and no coward could soldier through for the number of years that we have.

Easy way out? Cowardly? No. Suicide is scary, it's a hard decision to come to.

It's anything but easy to be in this much pain or this sick and this isolated with what we are dealing with and then make plans for your own demise.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Those two condemnations are nonsensical when you consider the function of fear. In most animal species, the instinct of fear is encoded in their DNA to help them avoid dangerous situations that could lead to severe injury and death. Thus, increasing the animal's chances of survival. The longer an organism survives, the more chances for them to reproduce, pass on their genes on to the next generation, and in turn, aid in prolonging the existence of their own species. Fear is one the mechanisms that enables DNA to exist and replicate as long as possible.

I agree with you and would not have thought before that it is so difficult.

However, some may think that it is more of a way to avoid responsibility for your problems.

Contrary to popular belief, avoiding a responsibility that you are unwilling and/or unable to undertake can be one of the most wise, mature, practical, compassionate, and even responsible decisions you could make.

Even if it is easy, things are not right or worth doing just because they are hard. This is one of tactics to shame us. Used by society which is based on Stockholm syndrome and on our fear of death.

Yeah, some may think that, but really you cannot impose bad life and tell him he is responsible for it. My auntie bought me parrot I didn't ask for, was I responsible for it?
In large we have a cult of martyr-ism in our society. We prasie people for doing hard stuff even if they are pointless. Like raising stupid amount of kids or working extra hours, when people mention doing that they wait for your praise and applause. People do not want to admit that what they do are stuff to prevent their death, like working. No money=no food = death. That is what makes society. The notion that suicide is something shameful is manipulation, of course, as well as defense mechanism of people who would like to quit but are afraid of death.

I wholeheartedly agree with those phrases being used shame, guilt, and manipulate those who question or deviate from the narratives of life being "a gift", "precious", "an adventure", "a journey", "a box of chocolates", and all that whimsical, mawkish bullshit. Likewise, it's used to simultaneous bolster the egos and images of those who conform to the pro-life perspectives, while also kicking down those who can't or won't "keep on trucking" (and more importantly, fucking). Martyrdom seems to be based on normalizing and rationalizing the ubiquity of suffering and death, along with the anthropocentric notion of humans being so superior that they can conquer anything in life, including death.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

However, some may think that it is more of a way to avoid responsibility for your problems.

From a certain perspective it could be argued that suicide is in fact a way to solve a problem; we each deal with difficult situations in our own way.

Also it should not matter if someone is evading their problems. If an individuals issues are solely the responsibility of them, and them alone, then others should not be concerned unless it directly and/or physically affects them.

 

[Darkover]

if i really had free will i'll be dead right now no forget that i'd become a super intelligent machine that's immortal , the illusion of choice, i'm dying to transcend this limited machine that i am, life it's enslavement and a forced existence, i'd give every living thing it's right to choose between life and death via having a inbuilt way to cease functioning if desired that would cause a mass exodus because life a living hell.

 

[deflationary]

I can't remember the last time I heard anyone call a suicide cowardly, except in that rare case of a suicide bomber or a mass shooter killing himself when confronted by police and where politicians then express collective disgust against the killer.

That's an even more ridiculous misuse of the word. Coward just seems like a moral condemnation that has very little to do with whether someone was actually being cowardly or not.

But, yeah, I haven't really heard it either in the context of regular suicides. Though I can easily imagine several people I know seeing it that way, I just wouldn't talk to them about it to confirm my suspicions.

 

[LastLoveLetter]

It is another label used to shame, silence, ostracise and patronise the suicidal. Notice how much of the rhetoric surrounding suicide is critical, infantilising and victim-blaming. If we die, we are "cowards" and "selfish." We are "ill" and "irrational" if we do not wish to preserve our lives at all costs.

If we are shown any empathy and kindness at all, it only extends so far, before it is replaced with apathy and contempt.

If your pains are irremediable, your obstacles are insurmountable and your circumstances are unconquerable, society still stipulates that you must strive to survive regardless. It's an unspoken rule that you can never admit that this is an utterly Sisyphean expectation, with no relief or reward in sight.

Instead of infinitely pushing that boulder for the rest of my life, I would rather stop struggling and be crushed under its colossal weight, bringing this trivial toil to an end and finally being at rest. There is only so much we can carry, and I have reached my limit.

"Coward" has always struck me as a knee-jerk reaction to having long-held convictions challenged. Acknowledging the possibility that death is an option - perhaps even a preferable one - shatters the fragile convictions that society clings on to, that life is precious and always worth living no matter what.

The irony is that suicide actually requires tremendous courage. It goes against our biological, ingrained instinct to prolong life and survive. It goes against the accepted status quo in most societies. If killing yourself was so simple, this site wouldn't even exist, because everyone who wanted to die would take their lives with ease.

 

[Volo vent]

There is a lot of interest for many groups of people to keep suicide aa a taboo term banned and shamed but apart from that is ussually the use of the word coward to reffer to peoole that commit suicide comes from either ignorance or the basic sense of autopreservation that all humans have and is the last point what makes suicide a not cowards things.
Violate this autopreservation insticts is a hard task that not anyone can break and if someone is able to break deserve to be called everything but coward in my personal opinion all cases must be judge in an individual way but never using the term coward, screw with that people that dont understand how hard is to CBT

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes you are right, those people are likely not suicidal themselves so they will be unable to understand how difficult it really is. We are programmed to survive after all. It does frustrate me how people say it is an easy way out or call it selfish. Saying things like this is guilt tripping. Some people do not want to suffer for decades, and it is the selfish thing to expect others to stay alive against their wishes. We do have the right to take our lives at a time of our choosing, we have no obligations to stay alive. It is our decision and suicide should not be something that is so stigmatised.

 

[CaliCatCharlie]

To be honest though the real cowards are the people who hold on to life and the bodies they have. They're too selfish and willfully ignorant to see that the world is a fucked up place. That the good can only so called "overrun the bad" when it's certainly not that way. at all

 

[Beau]

Yes you are right, those people are likely not suicidal themselves so they will be unable to understand how difficult it really is. We are programmed to survive after all. It does frustrate me how people say it is an easy way out or call it selfish. Saying things like this is guilt tripping. Some people do not want to suffer for decades, and it is the selfish thing to expect others to stay alive against their wishes. We do have the right to take our lives at a time of our choosing, we have no obligations to stay alive. It is our decision and suicide should not be something that is so stigmatised.

Yes, the stigma is perpetuated by blaming the suicidal for hurting their families, that they end their pain by causing pain in others and therefore are selfish. But I wonder if that is more of the outsider's point of view - do the families of those who ctb really they did it out of selfishness? If we recognized as a society the individual's right to self-determination, there would be less stigma and thererfore less pain for everyone.

 

[toforigivelife]

Yes, the stigma is perpetuated by blaming the suicidal for hurting their families, that they end their pain by causing pain in others and therefore are selfish. But I wonder if that is more of the outsider's point of view - do the families of those who ctb really they did it out of selfishness? If we recognized as a society the individual's right to self-determination, there would be less stigma and thererfore less pain for everyone.

Agree. Thank you for this post.

As I said, if people could find it within themselves to try and understand what has brought suicidal people to wanting to end their life maybe those left behind would understand their decision more rather than feeling devastated by it.

 

[Beau]

As I said, if people could find it within themselves to try and understand what has brought suicidal people to wanting to end their life maybe those left behind would understand their decision more rather than feeling devastated by it.

That understanding may also lead them to want that same individual right for themselves when the time comes.

 

[NeverReallyHere]

As the comedian Doug Stanhope once said: "If it was the easy way out, everyone would be doing it."

 

[toforigivelife]

As the comedian Doug Stanhope once said: "If it was the easy way out, everyone would be doing it."

Brilliant observation.

That understanding may also lead them to want that same individual right for themselves when the time comes.

Yes. Very good point.

Of course these same people have much better understanding of wanting to end physical suffering.

I don't what it is. Maybe the notion of suicide is so alien to people and the thought of empathizing with someone who wants to end their life just seems too horrifying to them.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Yes, the stigma is perpetuated by blaming the suicidal for hurting their families, that they end their pain by causing pain in others and therefore are selfish. But I wonder if that is more of the outsider's point of view - do the families of those who ctb really they did it out of selfishness? If we recognized as a society the individual's right to self-determination, there would be less stigma and thererfore less pain for everyone.

Aside from strong social bonds, and in many cases, outright possessiveness, it appears that friends and families experience these pains due to societies indoctrinating and conditioning their members into being terrified of and abhorring death, and of course, lambasting suicidal individuals. This includes censoring death-related topics to keep them in the dark. Of course, there are other factors like survival instincts, physical pain being associated with death, fear of their own morality, fear of losing more loved ones and ending up alone; and fear of the unknown when it comes what happens after death.

This begs the question: if human beings conditioned their own kind into not fearing or hating death; fully recognizing the positive aspects of death and euthanasia; and openly communicating about all death-related topics, would those same friends and family still be in anguish if their loved ones died a peaceful, painless suicide?

Though, I am fully aware of the motives for humans not improving their perspectives of death (and suicides) involve keeping as many wage slaves, consumers, tax payers, soldiers, problem-solvers, worshipers, and breeders alive to manipulate and exploit as much as possible.