Venting Coward

[rollingthunder]

I feel like such a coward... It would be so much easier and faster for me to just go out and buy a shotgun and CTB that way. Where I live it's incredibly easy to do. I know the store I will go to (I have been there before), and know the exact gun I want there, I even have the money I'll need for both the gun and ammo in cash in my wallet right now. I know where I will shoot myself, researched the correct angle, planned everything perfectly. But this violent prospect scares me so I've been researching SN and how to do it. It would be slightly more expensive and more complicated to do SN but still possible. I just feel like a coward when the easy fast option is right in front of me.

If I do end up doing SN, I might try to get a blood oxygen monitor or something like that to track things during the CTB process, and document it here, to help collect more information about this method. At least then I will have finally been of some use to someone.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

You're not a coward, this is just your basic human instinct

 

[Worndown]

Coward??? This is by far the ballsiest thing anyone will EVER do.
Anyone can climb a mountain, bungie off a bridge or hunt a tiger. Those activities have risk. CTB is risk!

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

It would be slightly more expensive and more complicated to do SN but still possible.

I don't mean to sound like an asshole or anything, but how is SN more expensive than a gun?

And all that doesn't make you a coward. People have different preferences for things, that's all. Some people love yellow color, some think it's ugly af. Same thing here. Gotta find the method you're most comfortable with.

 

[rollingthunder]

I don't mean to sound like an asshole or anything, but how is SN more expensive than a gun?

And all that doesn't make you a coward. People have different preferences for things, that's all. Some people love yellow color, some think it's ugly af. Same thing here. Gotta find the method you're most comfortable with.

No offense taken! For the SN, I would be buying several times the recommended PpeH book dosage (25 grams) so I can test the purity, and have extra dosages to prepare more drinks in case I vomit the first one up. Then I would also want to buy testing strips for the SN. The gun I would simply be driving out to the local gun store to buy. In my state it's pretty easy and cheap to buy a gun, especially a simple shotgun like the one I'm looking at. Upon double-checking the prices, the SN + preparation cost is actually around the same cost as the gun, so I was wrong in my earlier post when I said the SN was more expensive.

And thank you for your kind words. It will be my last choice, so it only makes sense that I want it to be a choice I'm comfortable with.

 

[nihilistic_dragon]

No offense taken! For the SN, I would be buying several times the recommended PpeH book dosage (25 grams) so I can test the purity, and have extra dosages to prepare more drinks in case I vomit the first one up. Then I would also want to buy testing strips for the SN, which puts the total SN + preparation cost at a little more than the gun. The gun I would simply be driving out to the local gun store to buy. In my state it's pretty easy and cheap to buy a gun, especially a simple shotgun like the one I'm looking at. Upon double-checking the prices, the SN + preparation cost is actually around the same cost as the gun, so I was wrong in my earlier post when I said the SN was more expensive.

And thank you for your kind words. It will be my last choice, so it only makes sense that I want it to be a choice I'm comfortable with.

Oh that's interesting. I have no idea how much guns cost. But my understanding was that SN is super cheap, that's why I asked. Anyway, wishing you a peaceful ctb no matter the method you choose.

 

[rollingthunder]

Oh that's interesting. I have no idea how much guns cost. But my understanding was that SN is super cheap, that's why I asked. Anyway, wishing you a peaceful ctb no matter the method you choose.

Yeah, in my state, you can buy basic model long guns (shotguns and rifles) for as low as $100 or so (before taxes and such). The SN is not expensive either, but due to the fact I am buying multiple dosages, and the shipping is from far away, it adds up to be a similar price as the gun.