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[Unending]

75,022

Pretty much a mix of everything. I'm trans so there are body image issues, I have the severe depression, generally feeling like our world is a horror film, not having a bedroom or money, etc. Oh, yeah and my guitar broke :(

Do you have any specific pains or issues right now or is it just sort of the daily thing?

 

[ClownMe]

75,023

Just the daily thing I guess. The world fucking sucks and im depressed and suicidal all the time. My mum isn't helping things either, ive had enough of her crap.

 

[Unending]

75,024

I understand, suicide and misery has became of part of my identity at this point. Maybe that sounds ridiculous but I can't focus on or do anything unless the topic pertains at least vaguely to suicide, death, or negativity. What's going on with your mom? Only answer if you feel comfortable obviously, but yeah there are difficulties with my mom as well.

 

[ClownMe]

75,025

I feel ya, im getting like that as well. I've been meaning to read more of the book I started for like the last 4 or 5 days but I just cant muster up the energy to do it.

As far as my mum's concerned let's just say I bailed her out (potentially financially) once again after another one of her monumental fuck ups and she promised to actually make an effort to change things between me and her and turn her life around (and it seemed genuine) so I believed her and she's once again spat in my face (and in a big way). So, im officially done with her, I told her today not to have any more screw ups because im not going to help her anymore, she's on her own. I've been waiting almost 22 years for her to change her ways and treat me like her son (which is what I am) and she's made no effort to.

She's a shitty person to the core and as bad as this may sound, the only way she may ever change her ways is if she gets knocked out one day, unfortunately it wont be me knocking her out .

You know it's bad when I wanna knock you out because im an extremely patient and non-violent person.

The old saying applies to my mum: Leopards don't change their spots

I wish i realised this years ago instead of giving her so many chances.

 

[ClownMe]

75,026

 

[ClownMe]

75,027

 

[donealready]

75,028

 

[ClownMe]

75,029

 

[Destiny Calls Me]

75,030

@ClownMe I feel you, that hits home hard. In a world where there are so many cliches about mothers and she actually does you wrong then try arguing that to a bunch of delusional family member.

My mom got so mad at me for slamming the door shut after and mild argument and she busted into the room and hit me in the back of the head multiple times in rage. Im much bigger and had boxing training at the time so I turned my back to her and covered up quickly. I was fine and did not retaliate, I would never hit her especially knowing dam well 1 hit wouldve put her on the floor. Afterwards I told some family about it and I was in disbelief being told I needed to fix my ways and not argue with her and they excused her because of stress and me causing her hardship as if that was a one way street.

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,031

 

[MentalStefan]

75,032

 

[donealready]

75,033

 

[ClownMe]

75,034

Yeah @Destiny Calls Me mother worship in society is off the charts. People literally believe that simply giving birth to a child makes you a good person. Dont even get me started on physical abuse, my mum once said she's allowed to hit me because im her son.

World's fucked.

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,035

 

[ClownMe]

75,036

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,037

 

[Destiny Calls Me]

75, 038

Parents would think twice if they realized once they get old someones gonna have to take care of them. Full circle of life. You think the nursing home is gonna treat you better, yea ok.

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,039

 

[Destiny Calls Me]

75, 040

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,041

 

[ClownMe]

75,042

75, 038

Parents would think twice if they realized once they get old someones gonna have to take care of them. Full circle of life. You think the nursing home is gonna treat you better, yea ok.

It's funny you should mention that... I've brought that up to my mum a few times, I said "if you keep up these shenanigans and keep treating us like this then nobody is gonna be there for you when you're older" and she still somehow thinks ill be there for her even though she treats me (and my brother a lot of the time) like shit.

My own personal theory is that she's a self-destructive and self-sabotaging psychopath/sociopath but that's all it will ever be, a theory, because whenever I suggest to her to go to therapy she just tells me that theres nothing wrong with her and that im the one that needs to go to therapy because "I have a problem by thinking that she has a problem".

 

[violetday]

75,043

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,044

 

[donealready]

75,045

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,046

 

[PleaseHelpMi]

75,045

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,046

 

[Destiny Calls Me]

75,047

@ClownMe Ah yes, the classic deflecting and turning the script by gaslighting. People oversee the fact that you never know when your time or someone elses time is up. I hate hearing " 'X family member' is not gonna be around forever" while in the back of my mind I say "neither will I, if only you knew". If people really cared they would think twice before they speak or act. I guess thats too much to ask for.

You get 1 pound of nice, caring and loving attitude then get dumped 1 ton of shit for them to complain that your being an asshole and disrespecting them.

 

[LionsTigersAndBears]

75,048

 

[Endex]

75, 049