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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,394
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,396
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,398
 
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violetday

violetday

🖤
Nov 30, 2022
439
72,399

How are you doing? @ClownMe
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,400

Struggling again. How are you @violetday
 
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violetday

violetday

🖤
Nov 30, 2022
439
72,401

I was doing better yesterday but today has kicked my ass. I think the new year approaching has me feeling down. Are you doing anything for New Years?
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,402

Im just watching the sydney fireworks on TV tonight. You?
 
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TydalWave

TydalWave

Brutally Self-Aware
Sep 20, 2022
436
@ClownMe Always good to see your rosy cheeks.

72,403
 
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violetday

violetday

🖤
Nov 30, 2022
439
72,404

I don't think so. I might watch the ball drop tomorrow or go to bed early lol. Are you from AUS?
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,405

And it's good to see your waves crashing into the shores of SS @TydalWave 🤗

Yeah im in australia @violetday watching the ball drop doesnt sound like a bad way to bring in the new year.
 
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TydalWave

TydalWave

Brutally Self-Aware
Sep 20, 2022
436
I don't get people's fascination with watching a ball drop.

Maybe I am too depressed to understand it... :meh:

7 2 4 0 7
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,408

I don't get people's fascination with watching a ball drop.

Maybe I am too depressed to understand it... :meh:

7 2 4 0 7

Its another distraction like basically everything we do in this life, just passing time until we inevitably die. I try not to analyse things too much or else it just makes me even more depressed than i already am.
 
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violetday

violetday

🖤
Nov 30, 2022
439
72,409

Yea I feel like i just do it because I did it at a happier point in my life. Back when I looked at the new year with happiness instead of disappointment in myself
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,410

I remember when I was a kid/young teen and i used to look forward to the new year because i was one step closer to the "freedom" of the adult world. But when you get there you realise that being an adult is just as bad as being a kid, if not even worse in some aspects 😑
 
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TydalWave

TydalWave

Brutally Self-Aware
Sep 20, 2022
436
72,411

Yeah for me it's just always a vast reminder of how shitty my year was. And if thats not enough, watching people lose their shit in the US broadcasts over a ball dropping and a new year is just like the exact opposite of how I feel about a new year.
 
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violetday

violetday

🖤
Nov 30, 2022
439
72,412

Yes I had this mentality as well. Then I got trapped in a job, then bills, stress, etc. it just snowballed to where I'm at right now
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,413

I find that my birthday is the worst day of the year.
 
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TydalWave

TydalWave

Brutally Self-Aware
Sep 20, 2022
436
72,414

Not to mention the fact that watching what seems to be all of humanity in love, proposals, etc. is like a dagger to my broken heart. And yeah fuck birthdays too.
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,415

I block out the news and dont go on social media anymore. From my experiences I know that people that portray their happiness on the world stage are usually some of the saddest. In a weird way though I don't really think that makes me feel better, it makes me feel even worse because I think at least like 80% of the world's population are really miserable deep down. Evil shitty world we live in 😞
 
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violetday

violetday

🖤
Nov 30, 2022
439
72,416

Yes fuck birthdays. Just another shitty day.

I agree. The more people post usually the more miserable they are. I don't really get on social media at all. I try to read when I'm able. I've been in a slump for over a month just because I can't get my mind to focus
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,417

Same. I was getting back into reading lately but since ive finished the last book I was reading I haven't been able to relax my mind enough to read.
 
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TydalWave

TydalWave

Brutally Self-Aware
Sep 20, 2022
436
Happiness for me has basically been equivalent to denial... I have a theory that we are happy as long as we can maintain the illusion that life will improve. Like you said, as a kid you dream of being an adult and having freedom. Once that illusion fades... damn.

Then you can fall in love and go through it again... and again until you lose faith in the system as a whole and recognize the cognitive dissonance that the rest of the non-suicidal world lives with in order to be a healthy functioning adult. I refuse to be a part of that. So I guess I am ultimately at fault for my own happiness. I should just go back to being a fake dreamer.

Oh and 72,418
 
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Euthanza

Euthanza

Self Righteous Suicide
Jun 9, 2022
1,447
72419
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,420

I always say life is like the red pill, blue pill scene in The Matrix, either see the world for what it is and struggle to keep your sanity or live happily in denial. The thing with the first option is that once you see the world for what it is it's almost impossible to go back. Hopefully that makes sense.
 
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TydalWave

TydalWave

Brutally Self-Aware
Sep 20, 2022
436
72,421

I agree completely. Just wish I had maybe taken the red pill a bit later in life.
 
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ClownMe

ClownMe

Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
Apr 7, 2021
20,561
72,422

Same.
the matrix wtf GIF by Kyle Platts
 
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