Could you have had an amazing life?

[Beachedwhale]

I could've had an amazing life but I fucked up. I made so many mistakes and missed out on so much, and now much older I have severe fatigue and I don't know why. I'm getting older and missed the boat on some things. My brain torments me with past memories and regret constantly. I was always a perfectionist, and it was my downfall in a really bad way.

I want to keep trying to pursue the dream that I had abandoned, but it will never be the same, I am so tired, my issues like social phobia have worsened so much, I didn't achieve the things I wanted to or enjoy what I wanted to, I have fucked up my CV...the past few years were a complete waste, my degree was a waste. I am completely torn between wanting to end it and using what I still have to try to salvage a life.

The tragic thing is that this is the way I thought many years ago, when I still could've salvaged an amazing life. So it was a lie...but it is also a self-fulfilling prophecy, because now I really did miss out on many opportunities.

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't think so, at least not in this body and this mind. Most of the things that have went wrong for me have been out of my control and I couldn't have prevented them. My mind simply wasn't wired to cope with this world. It's always been inevitable for me.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Sure but I had to screw everything up as usual. I've had a lot going for me and I've squandered it or intentionally walked away from it which ironically just makes me further want to destroy myself for doing this to me.

 

[chicken neck]

I'm a man who's 5'5, so no.

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Coulda shoulda woulda is a terrible mind-virus that is 100% counterfactual (no pun intended).

 

[Superdeterminist]

Could anything really have been otherwise? Maybe, but I don't assume as such. Hopefully further investigation in physics will reveal whether alternate possibilities are actually possible, and why we don't see them, (i.e. why do we see the reality that we see, and not another one, e.g. a reality in which you chose the vanilla ice cream instead of the chocolate one).

 

[Deadlyroses]

Maybe not amazing, but I think I could've had a decently good life if I weren't crippled by my lifelong mental illnesses (adhd, depression, avoidant personality disorder, anxiety)

I do a lot of maladaptive daydreaming and I always think about "what could've been". It's so sad and pathetic. Truth is..I'm a lonely failure and a pathetic waste of space.

I can't wait to die and finally put all of my regret and ruminating to an end.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I did have what was starting to be my dream come true from when I was a lit younger. Totally fucked it up and was thrown away and now....I have little to no support left because I burned just about every bridge I had built over the years. But maybe Hidden Base is correct in his, (quite likely reality according to quantum mechanics,) saying that this was basically the way it was meant to be. Ergo, I was BORN AND DESTINED to be a fucking loser piece of garbage from the get go. Not anyone's fault, just the way things have to be.

 

[StarLight]

Yes, if I had been born as a different person to a different family..... so no.

 

[WornOutLife]

Yeah! I could've had more money and become really famous! (I used to be a youtuber and had 50k subs. If I had been constant, doing the maths, I should have about 1 million subs now lol)

However, that wouldn't have prevented me from ctb!

I've experienced true love, having an awesome dad, a decent salary and I would like to visit Japan but no matter what I do or have, I'll always be suicidal.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

I used to be a youtuber and had 50k subs. If I had been constant, doing the maths, I should have about 1 million subs now lol

Wow! Can I find your channel on youtube? I'm curious lol.

 

[WornOutLife]

Wow! Can I find your channel on youtube? I'm curious lol.

Haha I deleted it some years ago while I was having an extreme DOWN thanks to my "lovely" bipolar disorder. You can't imagine how much I regret having done that. Even today, some followers are asking me to go back! If I were more stable, I'd do it.

Btw, I made reviews about anime and manga and recommended some of them with a silly humour some people loved!

 

[loopylou]

No because I was born with wine and whiskey in my veins ... being brought into this world by a narcissistic alcoholic mother wasn't a great start..it set the tone of my whole life

 

[PaxAmerica]

True. So true. I think on the positive side (in a perverse way) is the fact that no matter how successful and rich you are your journey ends in the same place as the complete losers, failures (e.g. me) in life. Jeff Bezos has his superyatcht but I can still hope on a boat ride. Michael Jordan has his private jet but I can hop on a British Airways. I may not have caviar but I got my veggie burgers from Tesco. My point is that you dont have to be rich, famous etc really. So long as you have the basics then you did okay. Still I hate life though.
You know how people always say, 'Oh if I had to life my life again i wouldnt change a thing?' Thats just bullsh%t. Lafe is way too terrible that you are gonna do things the same given another chance.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Haha I deleted it some years ago while I was having an extreme DOWN thanks to my "lovely" bipolar disorder. You can't imagine how much I regret having done that. Even today, some followers are asking me to go back! If I were more stable, I'd do it.

Btw, I made reviews about anime and manga and recommended some of them with a silly humour some people loved!

Nooo :( Too bad. Why did you do that?

But you can do new one, even better one. I think it could also help you with making your dreams come true. You know Japan is not that cheap.

 

[WornOutLife]

Nooo :( Too bad. Why did you do that?

Because I'm a real fool lol.
Yes, I might go back but this time as a teacher and teach Japanese. I really want to do that but first, I gotta keep on studying for some more months.

Anyway, you're always so nice to me! Thank u very much!

Note: Yes, Japan is too expensive! I'll have to save for AGES haha.

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Because I'm a real fool lol.
Yes, I might go back but this time as a teacher and teach Japanese. I really want to do that but first, I gotta keep on studying for some more months.

Anyway, you're always so nice to me! Thank u very much!

Note: Yes, Japan is too expensive! I'll have to save for AGES haha.

No, you are not a fool. Sometimes you just do some things for no reason. The current mood can do a lot.

Don't you want to teach also Spanish? I would love that!

 

[WornOutLife]

No, you are not a fool. Sometimes you just do some things for no reason. The current mood can do a lot.

Don't you want to teach also Spanish? I would love that!

Haha well, that could be nice too! Some people have told me they would like to see that.
If I keep on living for some more years, I might do it and you'll be the first one to know it! :)

 

[ExhaustedExistence]

Haha well, that could be nice too! Some people have told me they would like to see that.
If I keep on living for some more years, I might do it and you'll be the first one to know it! :)

Aww, you are nice :) But I don't know how long I can take this miserable place called earth. Can you text me to grave? lol

 

[ClownMe]

i doubt it, i think i was doomed from the beginning to be honest.

 

[TheGreatEscape]

I had a great life and didn't even lose it all, just enough to not want to continue with less than I had.

 

[the_final_countdown]

Yes.

I was extraordinarily healthy and fit. Became ill thanks to an autoimmune disease brought on by stress and diet and prior antibiotic use years ago.

Followed by devastating side effects from medication. Hollowed my soul. Tortured me psychologically and left me a skeleton.

Whatever life I could have from here on on out would be one filled with constant discomfort and loss.

I don't want to wake up every morning devastated by what I lost and can no longer have.

I'm okay with dying young. Yet, pulling the trigger is difficult.

 

[Bullit]

Yes,goddammit. Could've been a better life for sure.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I could've had an amazing life but I fucked up. I made so many mistakes and missed out on so much, and now much older I have severe fatigue and I don't know why. I'm getting older and missed the boat on some things. My brain torments me with past memories and regret constantly. I was always a perfectionist, and it was my downfall in a really bad way.

I want to keep trying to pursue the dream that I had abandoned, but it will never be the same, I am so tired, my issues like social phobia have worsened so much, I didn't achieve the things I wanted to or enjoy what I wanted to, I have fucked up my CV...the past few years were a complete waste, my degree was a waste. I am completely torn between wanting to end it and using what I still have to try to salvage a life.

The tragic thing is that this is the way I thought many years ago, when I still could've salvaged an amazing life. So it was a lie...but it is also a self-fulfilling prophecy, because now I really did miss out on many opportunities.

Beached whale, it's like we walked the same road! "My brain torments me with past memories and regret constantly"! Yep it certainly does and has done for oh so many hateful year's! I want to ctb right now but have my dog to look after and l promised him the day l got him l would always be there for him,to love and care for him his entire life, l will keep my word then 3 months after he's gone l'm going as well!

 

[Deformationalplagio]

I could've had an amazing life but I fucked up. I made so many mistakes and missed out on so much, and now much older I have severe fatigue and I don't know why. I'm getting older and missed the boat on some things. My brain torments me with past memories and regret constantly. I was always a perfectionist, and it was my downfall in a really bad way.

I want to keep trying to pursue the dream that I had abandoned, but it will never be the same, I am so tired, my issues like social phobia have worsened so much, I didn't achieve the things I wanted to or enjoy what I wanted to, I have fucked up my CV...the past few years were a complete waste, my degree was a waste. I am completely torn between wanting to end it and using what I still have to try to salvage a life.

The tragic thing is that this is the way I thought many years ago, when I still could've salvaged an amazing life. So it was a lie...but it is also a self-fulfilling prophecy, because now I really did miss out on many opportunities.

Yeps i would have enjoyed life if i didn't ended up with and extreme facial deformity.

 

[soap]

Amazing? No. But it could've been peaceful and quiet, with my little hobbies to pass the time.

I fucked up and threw it all away for nothing, so can relate with the regret.

 

[S like suicide]

Thinking about it now after 27 years I think my life was a mistake, and it was wrong from the beginning.Maybe it was destiny for me to get to this point.But I would have liked to have had a wonderful and beautiful life like that of many lucky people in this world.
on this round I got a shit life..maybe next round...

 

[HenryHobkins]

absolutely not

 

[motel rooms]

Sorry, the thought of the possibility of having an amazing life makes me lol so hard

 

[BottomlessPit]

When I consider that we live in a deterministic universe every thought of "could" "should" and "would" becomes irrelevant. The particular chain of causation that led me to my situation couldn't have been any different, as that would have required an acausal influence. The fact of the matter is my fate was already determined from the beginning of the big bang; everything happened exactly as it should.