Ico
Member
- Jun 27, 2023
- 40
Sorry to start a new thread, but I don't really think I can turn to anyone and time is of the essence.
My thoughts and mood seem to have gone to a decidedly dark place the last three weeks. I've attempted Suicide once at age 16 (I'm 50 now), but not since. The thoughts are always there. I can usually keep them under control, though. I also have near perpetual nerve pain due to a workplace accident in 2020. In addition, I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder after an 'official' evaluation in March of this year.
For the past few months (years?), I have been in a state of complete Autistic burnout, anxiety, and sensory overload. This is par for the course, and I've been able to work through it (since I'm the sole support for my family). However, these past three-ish weeks have been a living hell. Seems that every waking hour is consumed with suicidal ideation (sorry I don't know the cool acronym). They align with my usual thoughts / beliefs of being a burden to everyone and the world being better off without me, but now these thoughts are ever-present. I cannot escape them no matter what I do, and am growing incapable of functioning. I fear it's just a matter of time before I have a complete mental break.
So...I'm thinking that perhaps my medications might be contributing to this?
Thanks to the shitty US Healthcare system, I have a patchwork mosaic of 'professionals' who don't (and will not) communicate with each other. I've had to rely upon my pharmacy to warn me of significant interactions (like, "Hey! This narcotic painkiller shouldn't be taken with your anxiety meds! Could kill ya!"). Here is what I'm taking:
Clonazepam .5MG tablet - I've been taking this on and off for about 20 years. Right now, I take one .5Mg tablet in the morning, and one at night. Pretty sure this isn't the culprit.
Methylphenidate 20 tablet - Since March 2023. I take this twice a day (morning and noon). This is prescribed by an APRN that was recommended to me after my ASD / ADD diagnosis. Initially, I felt some nausea and irritability but it's been manageable.
Here are the new meds. On June 9th, they were prescribed by a new Orthopedic Doctor for ongoing severe nerve pain / inflammation. He didn't really spend a lot of time with me, and (as "Orthobros" do), he just sent these to CVS and told me to go to physical therapy for six weeks:
Meloxicam 15 MG Tablet - Anti-inflammatory. Taken in the morning.
Methocarbamol 500MG tablet - Muscle relaxer. Two pills taken at night.
I stopped taking the Methocarbamol two nights ago, but now I'm thinking that maybe the Meloxicam / Mobic might be the culprit? The pervasive thoughts seem to be worse in the morning and mid-day, which I've always attributed to being in a Toxic workplace which is a sensory nightmare. However, I'm now like this 24/7. It's getting harder and harder to hide it from my wife and daughter, and something just has to give. If I stop the Meloxicam, the nerve pain is likely going to come roaring back. This could be enough to trigger an episode, so I don't want to make this decision lightly. It seems that either way, I am doomed.
My fear is that any one of the three 'Professionals' I see will just tell me to call 911 or call the police on me. I have no one to turn to, and I will have to somehow manage this in complete silence while performing my usual job duties. Even better, my shitty In-Laws are coming to stay with us (not my decision) in a few weeks. One way or another, I will need to solve this problem before the end of the month.
I'm grasping at straws here, but does anyone have experience with Meloxicam / Mobic? Please?
My thoughts and mood seem to have gone to a decidedly dark place the last three weeks. I've attempted Suicide once at age 16 (I'm 50 now), but not since. The thoughts are always there. I can usually keep them under control, though. I also have near perpetual nerve pain due to a workplace accident in 2020. In addition, I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder after an 'official' evaluation in March of this year.
For the past few months (years?), I have been in a state of complete Autistic burnout, anxiety, and sensory overload. This is par for the course, and I've been able to work through it (since I'm the sole support for my family). However, these past three-ish weeks have been a living hell. Seems that every waking hour is consumed with suicidal ideation (sorry I don't know the cool acronym). They align with my usual thoughts / beliefs of being a burden to everyone and the world being better off without me, but now these thoughts are ever-present. I cannot escape them no matter what I do, and am growing incapable of functioning. I fear it's just a matter of time before I have a complete mental break.
So...I'm thinking that perhaps my medications might be contributing to this?
Thanks to the shitty US Healthcare system, I have a patchwork mosaic of 'professionals' who don't (and will not) communicate with each other. I've had to rely upon my pharmacy to warn me of significant interactions (like, "Hey! This narcotic painkiller shouldn't be taken with your anxiety meds! Could kill ya!"). Here is what I'm taking:
Clonazepam .5MG tablet - I've been taking this on and off for about 20 years. Right now, I take one .5Mg tablet in the morning, and one at night. Pretty sure this isn't the culprit.
Methylphenidate 20 tablet - Since March 2023. I take this twice a day (morning and noon). This is prescribed by an APRN that was recommended to me after my ASD / ADD diagnosis. Initially, I felt some nausea and irritability but it's been manageable.
Here are the new meds. On June 9th, they were prescribed by a new Orthopedic Doctor for ongoing severe nerve pain / inflammation. He didn't really spend a lot of time with me, and (as "Orthobros" do), he just sent these to CVS and told me to go to physical therapy for six weeks:
Meloxicam 15 MG Tablet - Anti-inflammatory. Taken in the morning.
Methocarbamol 500MG tablet - Muscle relaxer. Two pills taken at night.
I stopped taking the Methocarbamol two nights ago, but now I'm thinking that maybe the Meloxicam / Mobic might be the culprit? The pervasive thoughts seem to be worse in the morning and mid-day, which I've always attributed to being in a Toxic workplace which is a sensory nightmare. However, I'm now like this 24/7. It's getting harder and harder to hide it from my wife and daughter, and something just has to give. If I stop the Meloxicam, the nerve pain is likely going to come roaring back. This could be enough to trigger an episode, so I don't want to make this decision lightly. It seems that either way, I am doomed.
My fear is that any one of the three 'Professionals' I see will just tell me to call 911 or call the police on me. I have no one to turn to, and I will have to somehow manage this in complete silence while performing my usual job duties. Even better, my shitty In-Laws are coming to stay with us (not my decision) in a few weeks. One way or another, I will need to solve this problem before the end of the month.
I'm grasping at straws here, but does anyone have experience with Meloxicam / Mobic? Please?
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