Could it be my meds?

[Ico]

Sorry to start a new thread, but I don't really think I can turn to anyone and time is of the essence.

My thoughts and mood seem to have gone to a decidedly dark place the last three weeks. I've attempted Suicide once at age 16 (I'm 50 now), but not since. The thoughts are always there. I can usually keep them under control, though. I also have near perpetual nerve pain due to a workplace accident in 2020. In addition, I was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder after an 'official' evaluation in March of this year.

For the past few months (years?), I have been in a state of complete Autistic burnout, anxiety, and sensory overload. This is par for the course, and I've been able to work through it (since I'm the sole support for my family). However, these past three-ish weeks have been a living hell. Seems that every waking hour is consumed with suicidal ideation (sorry I don't know the cool acronym). They align with my usual thoughts / beliefs of being a burden to everyone and the world being better off without me, but now these thoughts are ever-present. I cannot escape them no matter what I do, and am growing incapable of functioning. I fear it's just a matter of time before I have a complete mental break.

So...I'm thinking that perhaps my medications might be contributing to this?

Thanks to the shitty US Healthcare system, I have a patchwork mosaic of 'professionals' who don't (and will not) communicate with each other. I've had to rely upon my pharmacy to warn me of significant interactions (like, "Hey! This narcotic painkiller shouldn't be taken with your anxiety meds! Could kill ya!"). Here is what I'm taking:

Clonazepam .5MG tablet - I've been taking this on and off for about 20 years. Right now, I take one .5Mg tablet in the morning, and one at night. Pretty sure this isn't the culprit.
Methylphenidate 20 tablet - Since March 2023. I take this twice a day (morning and noon). This is prescribed by an APRN that was recommended to me after my ASD / ADD diagnosis. Initially, I felt some nausea and irritability but it's been manageable.

Here are the new meds. On June 9th, they were prescribed by a new Orthopedic Doctor for ongoing severe nerve pain / inflammation. He didn't really spend a lot of time with me, and (as "Orthobros" do), he just sent these to CVS and told me to go to physical therapy for six weeks:

Meloxicam 15 MG Tablet - Anti-inflammatory. Taken in the morning.
Methocarbamol 500MG tablet - Muscle relaxer. Two pills taken at night.

I stopped taking the Methocarbamol two nights ago, but now I'm thinking that maybe the Meloxicam / Mobic might be the culprit? The pervasive thoughts seem to be worse in the morning and mid-day, which I've always attributed to being in a Toxic workplace which is a sensory nightmare. However, I'm now like this 24/7. It's getting harder and harder to hide it from my wife and daughter, and something just has to give. If I stop the Meloxicam, the nerve pain is likely going to come roaring back. This could be enough to trigger an episode, so I don't want to make this decision lightly. It seems that either way, I am doomed.

My fear is that any one of the three 'Professionals' I see will just tell me to call 911 or call the police on me. I have no one to turn to, and I will have to somehow manage this in complete silence while performing my usual job duties. Even better, my shitty In-Laws are coming to stay with us (not my decision) in a few weeks. One way or another, I will need to solve this problem before the end of the month.

I'm grasping at straws here, but does anyone have experience with Meloxicam / Mobic? Please?

 

[MrDarkness]

I don't have experience with those medication but I know meds can wear off, try to see if you can get a higher dose, if that doesn't work. Try new meds, I hope your able to find peace

 

[day]

Medication has definitely pushed me over the edge mentally plenty. While it's nothing you take I can say it's very possible. I don't know if the answer is to take more or stop taking it entirely I hope either way you get answers. Best wishes for you OP.

 

[tiredofbreathing]

try tapering slower on your dose and see if it works

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

Disclaimer: I'm a 27 year old dude with no medical background beside some tangential reading on the pharmacology on recreational drug use.
This is mostly regurgitating what is written on Wikipedia articles of the drugs you mentioned.

Clonazepam: doubt it. BUT, there is a link regarding benzodiazepines (including Clonazepam) and suicide. Review article.
However, benzo withdrawl can be painful, if not potentially dangerous. If you do try to stop, reduce the dose slowly.

Methylphenidate: You increased a dose of stimulants somewhat recently. My gut instinct pointed to this guy.
However, it has been over three months since you upped the dose.

Methocarbamol: It has some sedating psychological effects, but less than other muscle relaxers.
I'm not sure how it compares to other muscle relaxers in terms of brain activity.

Meloxicam: this is just an anti-inflammatory drug. This is super unlikely to be related to your mental health.

You already were taking a sedative (Clonazepam), started taking another sedative (Methocarbamol) and also upped your stimulant use (Methylphenidate). Something had to give.

Both the sedatives are likely GABAergic (Methocarbamol isn't known, but other carbamates are GABAergic) while Methylphenidate works by leaving more Dopamine and Noradrenaline in your system.

Maybe the two sedatives are having a compounding effect that wasn't forseen, like how mixing alcohol and benzos is a dangerous mixture. Maybe not, Methocarbamol doesn't seem to be that sedating.

I would make the poorly educated guess that reducing one or both of the sedative drugs, slowly, might be the way to go.

Hugs, I hope you can get better

EDIT: Do you drink alcohol? Alcohol is also a GABAergic sedative that, not only could be interfering, but use of alcohol is known to have a "hangover" effect on serotonin. Could also be a culprit.

 

[Ico]

Disclaimer: I'm a 27 year old dude with no medical background beside some tangential reading on the pharmacology on recreational drug use.
This is mostly regurgitating what is written on Wikipedia articles of the drugs you mentioned.

Clonazepam: doubt it. BUT, there is a link regarding benzodiazepines (including Clonazepam) and suicide. Review article.
However, benzo withdrawl can be painful, if not potentially dangerous. If you do try to stop, reduce the dose slowly.

Methylphenidate: You increased a dose of stimulants somewhat recently. My gut instinct pointed to this guy.
However, it has been over three months since you upped the dose.

Methocarbamol: It has some sedating psychological effects, but less than other muscle relaxers.
I'm not sure how it compares to other muscle relaxers in terms of brain activity.

Meloxicam: this is just an anti-inflammatory drug. This is super unlikely to be related to your mental health.

You already were taking a sedative (Clonazepam), started taking another sedative (Methocarbamol) and also upped your stimulant use (Methylphenidate). Something had to give.

Both the sedatives are likely GABAergic (Methocarbamol isn't known, but other carbamates are GABAergic) while Methylphenidate works by leaving more Dopamine and Noradrenaline in your system.

Maybe the two sedatives are having a compounding effect that wasn't forseen, like how mixing alcohol and benzos is a dangerous mixture. Maybe not, Methocarbamol doesn't seem to be that sedating.

I would make the poorly educated guess that reducing one or both of the sedative drugs, slowly, might be the way to go.

Hugs, I hope you can get better

EDIT: Do you drink alcohol? Alcohol is also a GABAergic sedative that, not only could be interfering, but use of alcohol is known to have a "hangover" effect on serotonin. Could also be a culprit.

Thanks for the perspective. I definitely have some pondering to do. Definitely no alcohol, since it messes me up pretty badly.

I HAVE increased my coffee intake, as my wife's stupid f'n cat has begun spazzing out between 1 and 4am every night. Even with the Ritalin, I'm practically falling asleep on the job.

So far, it seems that I can either be somewhat non-suicidal, employed, or marginally pain free. Guess I'll just have to pick one and hope for the best.

Hoping to tough it out just a bit longer until I know my family will be able to get by without me. Been spending the last 5 years aggressively saving in anticipation of this, but shit keeps happening.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I don't know if this is relevant or not, but back when I was taking medication for my HYPO-thyroidism (I'm not anymore, long story), and if I took an anti-inflammatory at the same time, my HYPO-thyroidism medication worked differently. What I mean by that is if I was taking the anti-inflammatory for a few days, my thyroid medication, which maintained my thyroid level just fine when taken by itself, would push me TOO FAR the other direction - into HYPER-thyroidism. I actually ended up calling the doctor once about this and was told that if I need to take ibuprofen for whatever, I should just skip my thyroid medication. With the reduced inflammation in my body, my dose of thyroid medication was just too much.

 

[suicidalloser]

I don't have experience with those medication but I know meds can wear off, try to see if you can get a higher dose, if that doesn't work. Try new meds, I hope your able to find peace

And while you're at why don't you wish upon a star and everything will come true!

 

[Ico]

Hey, folks! Just circling back to this, just in case anyone else experiences something similar.

The culprit turned out to be....

****Drumroll****

MELOXICAM / MOBIC.

Apparently, severe mood changes are a rare (but not unheard of) side effect. I never would have thought that a simple anti-inflammatory would have been the cause of what felt like a psychotic break. I'm a planner by nature, and have been mapping out my suicide for years. The last few weeks have been a particularly harrowing hellscape, where the intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation were inescapable.

Stopped taking it three days ago. Nerve pain came roaring back, but I'm slowly getting back to my 'normal' level of death prep.

 

[FormerlyFe(IV)]

Hey, folks! Just circling back to this, just in case anyone else experiences something similar.

The culprit turned out to be....

****Drumroll****

MELOXICAM / MOBIC.

Apparently, severe mood changes are a rare (but not unheard of) side effect. I never would have thought that a simple anti-inflammatory would have been the cause of what felt like a psychotic break. I'm a planner by nature, and have been mapping out my suicide for years. The last few weeks have been a particularly harrowing hellscape, where the intrusive thoughts and suicidal ideation were inescapable.

Stopped taking it three days ago. Nerve pain came roaring back, but I'm slowly getting back to my 'normal' level of death prep.

HUH. That's interesting and unexpected, glad to hear that you found the culprit behind the change in mood.

Did you manage to find another anti-inflammatory? Went back on the muscle relaxer?

Hope you're doing well, hugs

 

[Ico]

HUH. That's interesting and unexpected, glad to hear that you found the culprit behind the change in mood.

Did you manage to find another anti-inflammatory? Went back on the muscle relaxer?

Hope you're doing well, hugs

Thanks for asking. Back to diclofenac potassium, which isn't really working out all that great yet. Clawing my way back.