Venting conversion therapy

[nails]

found myself looking into conversion therapy today, but it's not legal in my state. i know conversion therapy doesn't work and can cause great harm, but i at least wanted to try. it's not like i have anything to lose. even if my chances of succeeding were extraordinarily slim, i'd still take it in a heartbeat.
i can't be happy or content like this, i won't accept it. i've tried everything to make myself feel okay about this shit, but nothing works. i hate this, i always will hate it. i've never been the type of person who wants to blend in, but this is different and i want to be normal.

 

[StarCaller'sStaff]

Conversion therapy is absolutely not a solution. It will not work. It does not convert you, it just represses your true self so far in, that misery becomes your standard state of mind. It is no way of living for anyone.
If you can muster up the strength, please try to live as who you are. You are wonderful and I love you, do not destroy your own self just to fit in.

 

[The_Hunter]

Hi there. Please just read this. Thanks.

Conversion therapy

Conversion therapy (sometimes called reparative therapy, or pejoratively pray away the gay) refers to a wide range of pseudoscientific,[2][3] homophobic, and/or transphobic practices. Those who practice it believe that people who are not heterosexual and/or are transgender can and should be...

rationalwiki.org

Transgender identity is valid. Homosexuality is valid. You deserve to live happily under whatever orientation or gender fits you right.

Don't let other people force you into their box. Don't let other people force you to be what they want you to be. Be what you are, what you were born to be. Transgender identity and homosexuality are valid, immutable, right, with nothing wrong with them.

I encourage you to read through the two links (each on the words "trans" and "homosexuality" respectively) to clear up any doubts of the scientific soundness of homosexuality or transgender identity. It is of ironclad scientific soundness. Best of luck. Homosexuality and transgender identity are normal, there are thousands of others who are the same way. What's not normal is rejecting people for what they are. It's normal to accept scientific fact as reality, to live how you truly feel as.

 

[j.rez729]

Please know you're just wasting your time. Is it religious guilt? Or just don't like the "lifestyle"? I'm gay and the scene is terrible, I know. I get it...but until they come out with actual technology to neurologically alter your sexual preference, nothing will change, and you will just be at battle with yourself constantly with no end. It's a false hope, a hail Mary, and you're simply prolonging your own misery.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

The thing is, being "normal" doesn't exist. Everybody is weird and strange in one way or another. Hell, something that is sometimes brought up in neuroscience is how diverse our brains are. Hence why, for example, left-handers are usually excluded from fMRI studies, due to higher levels of variability when it comes to things, such as language-hemisphere dominance. People are diverse and many of us have unique characteristics, some of which are more noticeable than others. Societal normalcy largely comes down to social conformity and what we socially conform to can change depending on many factors. For example, not that long ago in the West, liking anime was seen as weird but now it's seen as normal amongst young people.

There's is nothing wrong with being queer. Even if you somehow were able to "cure" your queerness you'd likely still find yourself feeling out of place anyway. That image of normal that you are hoping to live up to doesn't exist. It's just something that people in positions of power and privilege advertise to you in order to uphold the system in place, the one their power and influence is built on. Most people, including non-queer individuals, feel out of place. You are fighting a losing battle. It's better to just try to accept that part of yourself and tell everyone who disagrees with it to "fuck off" rather than to try and suck up to them. There is nothing wrong with being queer.

 

[whytrymyguy]

found myself looking into conversion therapy today, but it's not legal in my state. i know conversion therapy doesn't work and can cause great harm, but i at least wanted to try. it's not like i have anything to lose. even if my chances of succeeding were extraordinarily slim, i'd still take it in a heartbeat.
i can't be happy or content like this, i won't accept it. i've tried everything to make myself feel okay about this shit, but nothing works. i hate this, i always will hate it. i've never been the type of person who wants to blend in, but this is different and i want to be normal.

I hated being this way too, eventually you stop giving a fuck, trust me.

 

[nails]

Please know you're just wasting your time. Is it religious guilt? Or just don't like the "lifestyle"? I'm gay and the scene is terrible, I know. I get it...but until they come out with actual technology to neurologically alter your sexual preference, nothing will change, and you will just be at battle with yourself constantly with no end. It's a false hope, a hail Mary, and you're simply prolonging your own misery.

thank you for taking the time to reply.
my thinking has nothing to do with religion, and i'm honestly not sure if the lifestyle contributes to it either. i know that i'd most likely end up in even worse shape if i were to try conversion therapy, but i'm miserable either way and i'll ctb either way.

i have nothing to lose, i'm just exhausting all options.

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Conversion therapy is absolutely not a solution. It will not work. It does not convert you, it just represses your true self so far in, that misery becomes your standard state of mind. It is no way of living for anyone.
If you can muster up the strength, please try to live as who you are. You are wonderful and I love you, do not destroy your own self just to fit in.

We are all doomed in this world , thank you for speaking the truth and for telling it as it is. No therapy works... it just... isn't the means of anything :<<

 

[StarCaller'sStaff]

We are all doomed in this world , thank you for speaking the truth and for telling it as it is. No therapy works... it just... isn't the means of anything :<<

Conversion therapy is not therapy, it is torture. Equating it to therapy, that actually has a chance at having a positive effect, is wrong.
Our identity is not something that can be altered forcefully by others, there is no conversion being made in conversion "therapy". It's torture that forces you to convince yourself that the way you are is fundamentally wrong, and that you have to pretend to be something you're not. It's psychological torture and no one should have to go trough such a traumatic experience.

 

[needthebus]

thank you for taking the time to reply.
my thinking has nothing to do with religion, and i'm honestly not sure if the lifestyle contributes to it either. i know that i'd most likely end up in even worse shape if i were to try conversion therapy, but i'm miserable either way and i'll ctb either way.

i have nothing to lose, i'm just exhausting all options.

what bothers you about it?

are you trans or gay or bi?

if you are bi, you can just choose to date one gender

if you are gay, no ine changes it. there was a gay conversion camp leader who famously eloped with a gay lover.

it just doesn't seem to work and will waste money and cause more humiliation

if it's that gay anal sex seems dirty, many gay men don't have anal sex. if it seems gross in general, it may be religion has messed up your brain

there are gay therapists and teans therapists to help people like you

if conversion therapy worked, christians would be screaming from the rooftops with robust studies proving it

it doesn't and their religion is a lie

 

[idelttoilfsadness21]

Conversion therapy is not therapy, it is torture. Equating it to therapy, that actually has a chance at having a positive effect, is wrong.
Our identity is not something that can be altered forcefully by others, there is no conversion being made in conversion "therapy". It's torture that forces you to convince yourself that the way you are is fundamentally wrong, and that you have to pretend to be something you're not. It's psychological torture and no one should have to go trough such a traumatic experience.

That's the point I am making... All therapy is basically the same and conversion therapy is a cultish manipulation scheme to change people who aren't even broken. It's essentially the same to how church ideology works and programming people from a young age to believe they are at fault and they must be baptized to save themselves. That goes into anything really when a group of evil people have enough power to deem what is necessary for you because you are the problem to them. I'm saying that's equally the problem with therapy too aside from how conversion propagandist people work. It's all a foundation of cruel punishment at the end of the day and you were even stating that brought me to even think of how normal therapy works. It plays at the same gimmicks and abuse is constantly a thing. If you ever seen survivors of the mental health system directed at therapy, it uses CTB mostly and gaslight people who share their traumas while abusing them. It's the same as what conversion 'therapy' is is what I am getting it. They all fall under the same disguise of evil power and misery... I am sorry for my sisters and brothers who suffer from that and they shouldn't be wronged for their identity and for being trans.

 

[nails]

what bothers you about it?

i'm not bothered by other queer people, for the most part. i honestly don't care. this is about me. i want to be normal, this is fucking annoying.

 

[needthebus]

i'm not bothered by other queer people, for the most part. i honestly don't care. this is about me. i want to be normal, this is fucking annoying.

gay people are about 10 percent of the population. green eyes are mor abnormal.

this doesn't feel honest to me.

even if you wish it could change, it virtually never does. sexual orientation is almost always fixed and conversion therapy has never worked.

I wish i were tall but it's not going to happen.

 

[nails]

gay people are about 10 percent of the population. green eyes are mor abnormal.

this doesn't feel honest to me.

even if you wish it could change, it virtually never does. sexual orientation is almost always fixed and conversion therapy has never worked.

I wish i were tall but it's not going to happen.

what doesn't feel honest to you?

i don't want this aspect of my identity to follow my for the rest of my life. i don't want to deal with constantly thinking about it.

uncommon doesn't really equal abnormal in this sense. people with green eyes aren't seen as strange or dangerous. people don't protest or make laws against people with green eyes. it doesn't come up in conversations because it isn't something that would cross anyone's mind.

 

[LostLily]

It doesn't work and just makes you hate yourself more. Numerous former heads of "ex-gay " organizations have admitted that they are still gay

 

[astr4]

internalized discrimination is so painful to see. there's nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with the society around you that makes you feel "abnormal." you are not the problem, you were never the problem, i hope one day you can see that.

 

[nails]

internalized discrimination is so painful to see. there's nothing wrong with you and everything wrong with the society around you that makes you feel "abnormal." you are not the problem, you were never the problem, i hope one day you can see that.

thank you for taking the time to reply, i appreciate your concern.

i admit that i may have issues with internalized discrimination, but that's not really affecting how i feel now/my feelings when i made this thread.
being queer is abnormal, there's nothing wrong with that and there's nothing wrong with admitting it. no one should be treated differently just because they are different, but there's no use in stating that they aren't different. instead of acting like everyone is normal, we should be tackling the issue of people being discriminatory towards others who aren't considered normal.
when i say that i want to be normal/not queer, i don't mean it in a discriminatory way.
being deaf isn't normal, deaf people are discriminated against in many ways (people don't protest deaf people or anything, but you get my point), it's something that affects a person for the rest of their life, and it (usually) can't be fixed. if a deaf person wanted to ctb because they'd rather be normal (not deaf), would you accuse them of internalized ableism?

a more lighthearted example, i don't care if someone's a furry. are furries normal? no, but i'd call a person out if they were being mean towards someone for being a furry. do i want to be a furry? no, lol. it has nothing to do with how i feel towards them, i just don't want to be one and if i were somehow in a position where i had to spend the rest of my life as a furry, i'd probably want to ctb. this is only one example, this thinking could apply to so many other things as well.

apologies for the long comment.

 

[death_bed221]

thank you for taking the time to reply, i appreciate your concern.

i admit that i may have issues with internalized discrimination, but that's not really affecting how i feel now/my feelings when i made this thread.
being queer is abnormal, there's nothing wrong with that and there's nothing wrong with admitting it. no one should be treated differently just because they are different, but there's no use in stating that they aren't different. instead of acting like everyone is normal, we should be tackling the issue of people being discriminatory towards others who aren't considered normal.
when i say that i want to be normal/not queer, i don't mean it in a discriminatory way.
being deaf isn't normal, deaf people are discriminated against in many ways (people don't protest deaf people or anything, but you get my point), it's something that affects a person for the rest of their life, and it (usually) can't be fixed. if a deaf person wanted to ctb because they'd rather be normal (not deaf), would you accuse them of internalized ableism?

a more lighthearted example, i don't care if someone's a furry. are furries normal? no, but i'd call a person out if they were being mean towards someone for being a furry. do i want to be a furry? no, lol. it has nothing to do with how i feel towards them, i just don't want to be one and if i were somehow in a position where i had to spend the rest of my life as a furry, i'd probably want to ctb. this is only one example, this thinking could apply to so many other things as well.

apologies for the long comment.

As a bi guy I feel u 100%. Most straight people don't get it. If u don't live in California being gay or trans means u are freak at best and their biggest enemy at worst. People either pity u or want to kill u. No one treats u like a human being. I will always remember when people at work found about the one time I hooked up with a guy. Lets just say killers and rapists are treated better. Saying all that, conversion therapy doesn't work.