wildflowers1996
Arcanist
- Oct 14, 2023
- 462
My ocd seems to realise what makes me feel even worse than thinking horrible things about myself is thinking mean things about other people.
The more I try to stop, the more horrible thoughts I have. They're mostly regarding other people's appearances, but not only this.
I don't WANT these thoughts. I have BDD so I'm very tuned into to my own flaws. That is bad enough, but now the BDD and moral ocd seem to have combined. I constantly think nasty things about others being ugly which feels horrible because I know how much I'd hate for people to be thinking these things about me (which they probably are).
I know I can't control my thoughts but I find it so distressing that I think such constant cruel thoughts about others, including my own family. It makes me feel evil but I think if I were completely evil it wouldn't upset me so much I was having these thoughts.
I don't want to think badly of anyone ever, because I know it hurts to imagine others thinking badly of me. Which I am sure they are. I don't know why my brain is filled with such cruel thoughts.
The more I try to stop, the more horrible thoughts I have. They're mostly regarding other people's appearances, but not only this.
I don't WANT these thoughts. I have BDD so I'm very tuned into to my own flaws. That is bad enough, but now the BDD and moral ocd seem to have combined. I constantly think nasty things about others being ugly which feels horrible because I know how much I'd hate for people to be thinking these things about me (which they probably are).
I know I can't control my thoughts but I find it so distressing that I think such constant cruel thoughts about others, including my own family. It makes me feel evil but I think if I were completely evil it wouldn't upset me so much I was having these thoughts.
I don't want to think badly of anyone ever, because I know it hurts to imagine others thinking badly of me. Which I am sure they are. I don't know why my brain is filled with such cruel thoughts.
