huxIey

huxIey

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ
May 25, 2023
11
I really want to try to kill myself again. I'm so tired of having the urge to self-harm but not being able to because people think I'm getting better. They think that the psychologist and psychiatrist are helping but they really aren't. My life really has no meaning and it's just following what everyone says or else I'm nothing. I'm really no one, I'm just alive to please people and I'm tired of it. I'm scared that my attempt will fail just like last time. I tried hanging myself in my bathroom but I got found and was almost put into a psychiatric hospital afterwards. I'm thinking of trying to hang myself again or cutting my veins. Any suggestions? I'm just tired.
 
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Thanksforeverything

Thanksforeverything

A handshake of carbon monoxide
Jul 24, 2023
235
I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Life's really tough and trying to live for others makes it even tougher. As you said, it's exhausting. I'm in the exact same boat as you.

But do reconsider cutting veins because all it'll do is increase your suffering. Cutting is an incredibly painful process and is an incredibly inconvenient and inaccurate means of suicide. All it'll do is leave you with permanent damage and scars as well as getting you admitted to a psych ward. I know SH urges are so hard to deal with, but cutting your veins isn't going to give you your desired result. Don't increase the pain and burden that you're already feeling right now.
 
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huxIey

huxIey

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May 25, 2023
11
I'm really sorry about what you're going through. Life's really tough and trying to live for others makes it even tougher. As you said, it's exhausting. I'm in the exact same boat as you.

But do reconsider cutting veins because all it'll do is increase your suffering. Cutting is an incredibly painful process and is an incredibly inconvenient and inaccurate means of suicide. All it'll do is leave you with permanent damage and scars as well as getting you admitted to a psych ward. I know SH urges are so hard to deal with, but cutting your veins isn't going to give you your desired result. Don't increase the pain and burden that you're already feeling right now.
Thank you. I'm just trying to not self-harm to not worry others and be able to carry out my suicide. I'll probably try hanging myself again, I just need to find the right time and maybe I'll just thank some friends for not being assholes to me like most people are.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,878
It's certainly understandable feeling so tired of suffering in this cruel, dreadful existence, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.
 
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Linda

Linda

Member
Jul 30, 2020
1,685
Have you told your therapists that they are not succeeding in helping you? Those guys aren't psychic, and if you don't tell them they won't know. If you do tell them, they may try a different approach, and it might turn out to be more helpful. Or you could try getting different therapists. I don't think you should ctb unless you have at least tried those options. If they don't work out, the option to ctb won't have gone away.
 
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U

UKscotty

Doesn't read PMs
May 20, 2021
2,450
If we want recovery we have to be fully open and honest with those trying to help.

CTB is always a last resort by its very nature, and is never final until the act. Until that point it is just talk.

Only you can decide what you want. Good luck either way.
 
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huxIey

huxIey

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May 25, 2023
11
It's certainly understandable feeling so tired of suffering in this cruel, dreadful existence, I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.
Thank you.
Have you told your therapists that they are not succeeding in helping you? Those guys aren't psychic, and if you don't tell them they won't know. If you do tell them, they may try a different approach, and it might turn out to be more helpful. Or you could try getting different therapists. I don't think you should ctb unless you have at least tried those options. If they don't work out, the option to ctb won't have gone away.
Yes. I've had different therapists and I already told my current one that I don't feel they're helping at all. I'm also on medication and it doesn't even feel it helps.
If we want recovery we have to be fully open and honest with those trying to help.

CTB is always a last resort by its very nature, and is never final until the act. Until that point it is just talk.

Only you can decide what you want. Good luck either way.
Thanks.
 
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