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Yeah, the Wap days, it'll be around 2007 or so? Before Facebook and stuff, that's what made her site so impressive, most folk could barely manage a peperonity page that had their name and a few mp3s uploaded onto separate hyperlinks. She'll be around 38-42 or so, she was definitely around my age. Last I knew of her she hooked up with a lad I knew from Manchester, not sure if anything become of it. Again, it was a longshot but if you don't ask...
I have a sick fantasy about my abusive husband having a sudden death (car wreck, injury, disease, doesn't actually matter). I fantasize about finally being free, but keeping his money so I can live my life again. People would give me sympathy for being a widow, not knowing I was abused and that I was thrilled about his death. I imagine how I'd feel the moment I found out about it. I can feel it, the relief, the burden gone.
I feel a lot of shame for these thoughts, but I try to remind myself I'd never wish suffering or death on any other person, only the person that gave me ptsd and ruined my life.
I haven't done anything extreme. Though when I was 14 I stole a good few chocolate bars from Tesco to elevate my status in school so I could fit in and make friends. It worked that's why I kept doing it. Though it soon wore off and it was pointless in the long run. I'm just grateful I never got a record from it.
I want to write a suicide note for my family just to tell all their secrets to each other. I want them to hurt and I don't think my death will do that because I'm not present to them. I want to write exactly how I feel and let them know how alone and separated they have made me. I want them to feel guilt and I want them to hurt.
Once on a summer excavation, after i got drunk each night down the pub, I'd come back to the site and take a pee in the fire sand bucket. There was a mushroom in it that I used to chase around. At some point during the day, the boss slipped and fell into the bucket, covering himself in the contents.
"Don't worry!" he shouted, "It's only water!"
It wasn't.
NB. Apparently I wasn't the only one, someone else had also been 'chasing the mushroom.' That was some stinky old 'water' in that bucket.
Once on a summer excavation, after i got drunk each night down the pub, I'd come back to the site and take a pee in the fire sand bucket. There was a mushroom in it that I used to chase around. At some point during the day, the boss slipped and fell into the bucket, covering himself in the contents.
"Don't worry!" he shouted, "It's only water!"
It wasn't.
NB. Apparently I wasn't the only one, someone else had also been 'chasing the mushroom.' That was some stinky old 'water' in that bucket.
Hahahaha. Well there is a longer story there and not one I'm willing to tell. I could be persuaded to tell the story about the sugar bowl, but it's even more distasteful.
Hahahaha. Well there is a longer story there and not one I'm willing to tell. I could be persuaded to tell the story about the sugar bowl, but it's even more distasteful.
Hey man no pressure, eventually I'll post a few confessions here myself.
But as a spoiler, I can be a real asshole sometimes. It's only when I'm drunk and I resent myself when I am. This is why I'm steering clear of the alcohol now.
I love it and I used to be a mellow drunk. But something has changed in me.
My partner's mother irritates me with her neediness. Sweet enough woman, but her relationship with my partner honestly makes me a tad uncomfortable. Seems obsessive.
Yes he does know.. it was his sister's husband I had the affair with. But he did lots of bad stuff too, being very violent to me. We have actually forgiven each other and are very amicable now.
A friend called me because she was having a panic attack and I pretended to miss the phone calls since calls make me nervous and I didn't know what to say to help her. Turns out she was lost in an area she wasn't used to in a city at the time too. I am an awful friend.
I want my abusive ex the father to my children to disappear so the abuse stops and I can finally feel free with my children and never have to worry about him again even though I somehow still love him after all the terrible things hes done I still wish him gone
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