Discussion Conditions for not Catching the bus

[BeansOfRequirement]

What are they? Name everything you'd want to happen in order for you to not kill yourself. I'll go last and I want people to actually respond to this fucking thread, my threads are trash and no one responds to then, hard to typr so drunk thanks.

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

-Guaranteed housing.
-Universal basic income.
-Cures for my fibromyalgia, tinnitus, carpal tunnel, and various trauma symptoms(depersonalization, anhedonia, etc.).
-No contact with my family ever again which the first two things would solve.
-A partner that values me for who I am.

 

[WornOutLife]

Nice thread, no trash at all ;).

My conditions not to ctb are:.

-Losing weight
-Earn more money
-Date more girls
-Have a stable mind (this is the hardest)
-Sleep 8 hours a day (also very hard)
-Get my mom in a psych ward. (She has schizophrenia and is making my dad's life HELL)
-Get a new PC.
-Travel to other countries
-Go to the dentist's


And that would be more than enough. It's not impossible as you can see but it won't be easy either.

I'm doing my best to achieve that list's goals.

Waiting for your list,

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[booray]

If I had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life and not have to be worried about poverty in my old age, then I would stick around most likely. But what are the chances of me winning the lottery, much less finding a decent paying job? Both are a long shot, so I'd rather just ctb.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I would only need a wife, as in a woman that I love enough who also loves me back to want to stay with me for the rest of our lives. I have to do this at least by next year and if I fail to CTB then, then I absolutely must do it before I turn 30. I definitely don't make it easy but my idea is that once I find that someone, everything else will naturally fall into place (hopefully) and I can actually start turning my life around. But there has to be this potential wife in my life first otherwise my stupid and useless human male body would never ever care enough to even begin to try any form of self improvement. I guess she'd have to be someone willing to accept me as I am now but who'd also have the patience to actually let me grow. Basically I'm saying that if she can't have me at my worst, she won't deserve me at my trying to be my best.

I guess it doesn't help that my actual standards for what I like in a partner are rather narrow and strict. I think it might be because I want to minimize any chance of divorce or a breakup because I'm sick of having that in my life. I don't want there to be anything I don't like in them early on like looks or certain quirks because I should be the one changing for them, not the other way around. I don't want anyone to have to change for me. That's why it would also help if they were into a lot of the same things as me and had most of the same opinions which I also don't make easy because I feel I'm in the minority on a lot of common things.

Knowing all this is what makes it so impossible for me to not CTB. I know that there's that bs about "having to love yourself before you find love" but for me that's absolutely incorrect. I have literally never loved myself fully and I never will until someone else comes and proves me wrong first that there's something to love in here. Plus I also have a lot of baggage all coming from the only three girls I've ever been in love with and for various reasons I never even got to start a relationship with any of them. It's not even that any of them treated me bad, I just messed up with them and I'll never be able to forgive myself until I move on but I literally refuse to move on until I know exactly where to move to. Right now there's just no one in my sights that I'm even interested in and even though I try on dating apps it's extra screwed up because I've never been attracted to anyone I've pursued, it's always been people showing interest in me first which is even more unlikely.

So essentially, within the next year and a half I'd have to be minding my own business when suddenly a woman with very similar interests and behaviors to me just shoots her shot at me asking me out and she's everything I'm attracted to physically and she's willing to accept my faults. The kicker is I actually almost clutched this with a woman a few months ago but it wasn't met to be because I eventually screwed it up for myself before we could even meet in person even though we hit it off so we'll. I'm almost 99% certain no woman will ever come this close again which is why I really don't think I will ever not CTB. Even if I do manage to get over this heartache it will definitely take at least twenty more years which I just don't have time for because I want to actually be able to raise children in my 30s and not in my 40s like my dad did. I know some parents can do it but not me. Even now I'm already feeling the generation gap which is distancing me from modern youths and making me likely to be a horrible person to them.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Nice thread, no trash at all ;).

My conditions not to ctb are:.

-Losing weight
-Earn more money
-Date more girls
-Have a stable mind (this is the hardest)
-Sleep 8 hours a day (also very hard)
-Get my mom in a psych ward. (She has schizophrenia and is making my dad's life HELL)
-Get a new PC.
-Travel to other countries
-Go to the dentist's


And that would be more than enough. It's not impossible as you can see but it won't be easy either.

I'm doing my best to achieve that list's goals.

Waiting for your list,

Hugs and love,

Matt

-Guaranteed housing.
-Universal basic income.
-Cures for my fibromyalgia, tinnitus, carpal tunnel, and various trauma symptoms(depersonalization, anhedonia, etc.).
-No contact with my family ever again which the first two things would solve.
-A partner that values me for who I am.

Literally trying to eouch mysvereeen mackinf sasne of waht you men, hahha . Tgank you for keeping me ocmepanyn

 

[Blue Rose]

Sorry. They are not.

But losing some weights, getting a job, having a very sweet bond of my parents and boyfriend
Handling my depression completely, forgiving myself and the world I live in...

They will be able to make me POSTPONE my CTB for a long time. Indeed.
They will be able to make me DO CTB with responsibility and clear mind.
They will be able to make me pass away MORE peacefully.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Sorry. They are not.

But losing some weights, getting a job, having a very sweet bond of my parents and boyfriend, handling my depression completely...

They will be able to make me POSTPONE my CTB for a long time. Indeed.
They will be able to make me DO CTB with responsibility and clear mind.
They will be able to make me pass away MORE peacefully.

yOU JAF3M A BOYFREIEFD? sRY ACANT FUKING TYPE, HHEEEH

 

[Gonjoolie]

- Fixing climate change or at least stopping it in it's tracks
- The United States becoming a Socialist country
- Just the general state of the world being better

As you can see, I'm pretty much guaranteed to CTB haha

 

[LittleBabyNothing]

To not hurt so overwhelmingly all the time

 

[262653]

Basic things, first and foremost, which is supplying the body with all it requires to properly function, and avoiding toxins that disrupt the bodily functioning, like industrial fumes or mold spores.
Proper conditions for maintaining hygiene. High quality food, nutritiously rich and poor on the toxins, preferably.
A dwelling place that isn't ridden with mold, far from the road and industrial zones.
Companions to do things together, like playing co-op games, learn new things, introspect, or meditate.
A reliable handgun and maybe a cyanide pill, in case of emergency.

This should be enough for now, though there might be more.

 

[sorella santini]

For my chronic illnesses to go away.

 

[slipintothetragedy]

First things first, have a d*ck, which isn't going to happen anytime soon lol. Maybe just, have the world be a kinder place? I work retail, and I find most people to be so rude and rotten, esp. since the pandemic. I can't think of much that would completely stop me from wanting to CTB.

 

[BrokenArrow]

-Be naturally outgoing, driven, ambitious and much less socially anxious, depressed, insecure, awkward. Basically, totally re-wire my brain to behave differently within situations. This is the absolute hardest thing.

-Be qualified to get a "proper" job, after studying something STEM related.

 

[lugerepair]

Being able to live on my own in good living conditions, indefinitely, without having to work at a job that makes me exhausted at every level.

 

[NothingElseMatters]

money and gf

 

[imsorrythatimhere]

Be rich, move out, and I guess a group of friends I feel as though I can vent to. Some motivation would be cool too. Also get of transphobic + homophobic people, (this is a lot, I know). But even then I'm unsure it'd be enough, alas this is already too much to ask for

 

[Lmd]

-An expert in "something" knock on my door willing to accept me as a disciple. Finding it arbitrarily also works
-If the training does not involve becoming a parkour goddess it is very possible that it will be discarded
-I don't mind living a humble life as long as I don't lack the basics
-I must be able to see my loved ones, even from afar. I don't mind to live alone and isolate from everything as long as my life isn't boring
-Aliens abduct me or I'm getting involved into some weird sectarian conspiracy plot

Basically the only thing that will avoid my will to CTB it's making my life a sci-fi/action movie

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Just woke up after drinking myself to bed (and throwing up a lot). If it seems like I'm spam-liking, I am not. The responses were great, this is my first successful thread, thank you all.

 

[Symbiote]

• Better job in a better city that I'm accustomed to.
• New car, been deciding whether to get a Subaru Outback Onyx or BMW X3 M40i. The difference is utility and performance. Don't care too much about pricing. Feel like I'll be better with the Subaru since it can go off-road and wouldn't have to worry about some guy denting it like I would a BMW.
• Must complete within 6 months to a year
• Get back to my biking schedule again and start competing

 

[Last chance]

-To get her back
-To never feel like this ever again.

 

[ZardozOmega]

being reborn as a different human

 

[nolongerhuman]

- I would need my brain to stop playing the game of "stop hitting yourself" that is severe mental illness. I can't take one more three week long anxiety attack. I refuse.
- a fulfilling career in my job field.
- a romantic partner wouldn't stop me on it's own but it would be nice.

 

[*Hope*]

-get taller
-cure Body dysmorphic disorder that is making my problem even worse
-cure Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, which makes me rip my hair from my scalp (if this keeps going I will start to permanently lose all my hair)
-become more outgoing and be able to go out in public (miss being able to go outside without insane fear of something)

 

[Neowise]

• going back in time and being born in a supporting, loving and normal family that doesn't raise me via means of submission and mental abuse and ultimately causes me to hate myself, have permanent depression but no self esteem and register on a suicide forum

Oh wait shit, that is impossible. Guess I'm screwed?

 

[Spiral]

* erase 90% of my memory
* let me live on an island, or ... Even better, a different planet like earth but without people.
* I would keep only human tools, knowledge of basic building, hygiene and basic medicine and basic agriculture. Scrap everything else.
* let my island have clean running water and fertile soil for growing food, maybe not too many predators or Mosquitos would be an added bonus xD
* live in peaceful contemplation until I die

 

[angelfeather]

-To have permanent secure housing in a new area.
-For people to treat me how I treat them. (never going to happen!)
-For my mother to accept what happened to me as a child and take some responsibility.(Childhood trauma. Never going to happen!)
-For people to stop controlling me.
-To stop putting everyone before myself.
-To have the confidence to get a job. (ex partner persuaded me to quit a job I loved last year)
-To be assessed and diagnosed so I actually know what is going on with my brain and how I can learn to deal with it rather than just be chucked medication all the time.
-To have more confidence.
I could go on and on.....

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

• going back in time and being born in a supporting, loving and normal family that doesn't raise me via means of submission and mental abuse and ultimately causes me to hate myself, have permanent depression but no self esteem and register on a suicide forum

Oh wait shit, that is impossible. Guess I'm screwed?

Sorry, but my dark humor made me laugh at this because it's so accurate. This could be a meme on r/2meirl4meirl

 

[exhaustedrabbit]

Being able to just sleep forever and do nothing, honestly. The biggest draw of ctb is that I won't be able to disappoint anyone again by not correctly or fully doing what they want me/force me to do.

 

[makingsure4]

1. Finding the right person to undo the feelings of isolation. To spend time with. To fall in love with. I would express I want my ex back but I feel pitiful and unsure saying it. But he still feels real to me or at least all the memories do. I still love and miss him every day.
2. For the anhedonia to go away so I can enjoy books etc. again
3. A job. It doesn't have to be perfect or in my field necessarily but be allowed to work as much as I can (which may not be much) but something for job activity and still keep my medical insurance. Which is usually impossible in the U.S. once you are on disability.
4. My medical issues to be stable.
5. Have my living quarters be free of toxins