Venting Completely lost

[spooky_kxtty]

Everyone including my boyfriend expects me to be who I was last month but I don't blame them, I don't even completely understand the change myself. I masked my change; I didn't even want to change this way; my boyfriend used to completely understand me and be able to help and he still does help a bit but now he thinks im trying less to get better and I can see it hurts him but im so out of control I don't know how to stop with my addictions. My brain feels like it works completely differently now and im just watching myself drown. I don't wanna loose myself but it's addicting.

I know how he works and I feel like he's gonna eventually give up on me if he can't help which is understandable but at the same time I can't loose him or I loose me. I hate myself for being this way I just want to make him happy but I don't know how to want happiness again.

Does anyone else understand what im going through? Has anyone else been in a similar position and how did they get out?

 

[jodes2]

All I can suggest is that you try communicating with him more